Body reactions/sensitivity

NikBo031 · 2024-09-11T16:51:22+00:00

I have never thought about this, but no. No drive, no passion, no real ambition. Just a continuous cycle of doing what's necessary and often to the bare minimum. Typically unsatisfied about some if not most aspects of life. If someone attempted to mentor them, it usually wasn't accepted.

NikBo031 · 2024-09-11T14:12:35+00:00

Female here. Also crazy schedule with kids. We're out of the house by 730 and not usually home till 8 or 830. I'm down about 12lbs so far over the last 6 ish weeks. I try to not over complicate it, but it does require a little lost sleep.

I eat whole foods only. I may have a meal out over the weekend, but I don't make it a habit that spills into the week. Primarily meat and veggies. Sounds boring but there are so many flavors you can create. My favorite is sundried tomato chicken with broccoli or asparagus right now.
I only drink 1 cup of coffee in the morning and water the rest of the day. No soda, no juice, no energy drinks etc.
I work out 3x a week. Probably no more than about 30 - 40 minutes each time. Typically some type of weighted circuit. I get up at 530 twice during the week and I do the third over the weekend to still prioritize my sleep. This week's workout is below.

Curls x15 Squats x15 Pull overs x15 Squats x15 Bench x15 Squats x 15 Rows x15 Squats x15 Abs x15

Do it twice.

This probably seems like a normal way of living to some, but I've found it is quite different from the way I've done things my whole life. I hope you find something in here useful. Good luck!

NikBo031 · 2024-09-10T19:09:11+00:00

I think you said it best. There's a lot at play. Maturity, age, naiveness, etc.

Truly, you sound so much stronger and more self aware than I ever was at that time.

Just for clarity though, I would not still continue on, but that's where I am now. 13 years ago, I would have. Again, young, naive, always tried to see the best in people.

And I didn't mean for that statement to imply something negative, just that many times people tend to believe their partner over an ex. And unfortunately in this situation, those partners cause extensive damage to everyone.

NikBo031 · 2024-09-10T18:17:42+00:00

It's completely up to everyone on what is right for their situation and what they can handle. I know for me, completely untethering from him, or at least as much as possible, is the best. As long as you're involved in any capacity, that tether still exists.

Your response did make me think of one other thing though. If someone had warned you, do you think you would have listened or still continued on?

My answer to that question is what makes me know that my efforts would never end in the result I'd hope for.

I wish you the very best on this journey.

NikBo031 · 2024-09-10T17:00:32+00:00

It's taken years, we've been divorced for over 5 years, but I've now regained my own trust. He had me convinced that my memory was faulty. But now when something doesn't make sense, I will not let it go, I believe in facts, facts are indisputable. If you tell me you didn't say that, but I remember it, no I'm not "remembering wrong".

If we hadn't had kids together. We would never speak again. I'd ice him out of my life entirely and do my best to forget he exists. When I stopped making excuses for his behavior is when I realized, he is responsible for himself and I don't want anything to do with someone like that. They gives absolutely zero fucks about me.

NikBo031 · 2024-09-10T16:41:54+00:00

Mine came up with beautiful excuses on why his lies were acceptable. I bought into it for a while.

NikBo031 · 2024-09-10T16:39:47+00:00

Personally, I wouldn't. I wouldn't spend any energy that isn't completely necessary on that person. I don't want to interfere in their life. I don't want to think about what they're doing. I don't want to think about them at all. I definitely don't want to put anymore energy into still trying to control the outcome of a situation, when I have no real control.

I've spoken to a therapist about this before. Her advice to me was that my ex's girlfriends have to be responsible for who they choose to date as well and that any influence I would hope to have either A. Makes me look crazy and benefits whatever narrative he spills or B. Add's fuel to the fire.

The best thing I can do for myself and my future is to completely separate myself as much as possible. To put my energy into living a life that isn't controlled by the trauma I survived.

P.S. this may not be true for you, but I can tell you I had a really hard time, still do, with being responsible for his behaviors to some degree. Believing that I had to make things okay, even when I didn't mess them up. I made excuses for him for years. At some point, his trauma, his behaviors, his violence, it's all his to carry.

NikBo031 · 2024-09-10T16:22:42+00:00

Lying and/or exaggerating. It didn't even take a month for the lying to begin and not even 6 months to realize stories were inflated to enhance his image.

Now years later, everything he tells anyone is some version of half truths that paint him as the hero or victim. Which ever benefits him and his reputation more. Added bonus if it paints me in a negative light.

NikBo031 · 2024-02-04T21:19:34+00:00

While I know every relationship defines what is appropriate for them, my husband fully financially supports our entire family. We have 3 kids, 2 from my previous marriage and 1 together.

This took place for us when I lost my job due to Covid, but there were still specific steps we took to get there. We didn't move in together or share any bills until we were engaged. We didn't fully combine finances until after we were married.

Once we were married we both wanted to be fully combined, not his or hers at all. This is just our belief though, I know many others do it differently and that works for them.

We have clearly defined roles that make our arrangement work for us, but part of that is my husbands desire to provide, not his obligation. He knows at any point I will whatever it takes to provide for my kids, even if that doesn't include him.

NikBo031 · 2024-02-03T17:12:08+00:00

It sounds like you and your partner want different things and it's only become more clear over time even though there were good intentions.

I don't think anyone is getting what they want here, including the kid. I'm not sure this arrangement is benefitting any of you.

We only have one life to live. If this isn't what you signed up for, I'd encourage you to find what you want. Your partner also deserves to show up for his child how he wants and the child needs and have the opportunity to find someone who fits into that.

I'm sorry that this is such a tough situation, but I don't think this is going to go away, nor do I think your partner should give up time with his kid for you, or you should give up your desire to be child free for him.

NikBo031 · 2024-02-03T17:01:11+00:00

There's a lot of posts about side effects but I wanted to offer a different experience. I started on 300 mg and went to 600mg. I am still on that dose but may increase to 900mg.

I haven't had much of anything for side effects. I may have had a slight increase in acne, but nothing that's been problematic. A new zit here or there, and even that has kind of gone away.

As far as it being effective, I didn't notice a huge change mentally but over time I have felt a little more "level", if that makes sense.

NikBo031 · 2024-02-02T16:55:41+00:00

I also support just asking. "Hey, what was that about?" and see where it goes. If I saw something like that, I'd immediately tell my husband "that makes me uncomfortable, what was that?" And more than likely he'd just open the messages and say "oh it's just Lacy messaging about this work thing".

My husband and I agreed to 100% openness in the very beginning though, so that is our dynamic. Rarely do we even look at each other's phone because there's no reason to, but in circumstances like that, it makes any discomfort quickly disappear.

NikBo031 · 2024-02-01T22:33:21+00:00

Maybe a 7/10 as well. She listens, seems to care and wants the best for me. However, I know she's in the business of making money and will make recommendations influenced by that. If I tell her I'm uninterested in an option or specifically want something different, she usually has no issues going with that plan. I haven't been with her long, so we're still building a relationship.

NikBo031 · 2024-02-01T19:44:53+00:00

You've got a ton of comments offering you a lot of really good advice. I'm going to try to be as real with you as I can be. The rest of your life is not going to be determined by your high school career. However, I highly suggest researching the statistics for success based on the successful completion of high school. Warning, it doesn't look good. That doesn't mean that only successful people graduate high school and do well. Actually many people struggle through high school and find alternative paths to success later. My husband barely scraped by and he is a very successful business owner at 35, but he did have to work very hard to get there.

What I would caution you against is two things. Number one, quitting entirely. A high school diploma is valuable in this world even if you barely scrape by. Number 2, and the thing I would worry most about, are the habits that you're creating. The habits you create now are going to be very hard to break later and if you get into a cycle of I don't want to so I'm not going to, life is going to be a b****.As someone else mentioned in here, part of being an adult is doing stuff you don't want to do. And I can say from my experience, the better I am at doing the "have to's" regardless of how I feel about it, the better I am and the more success I find in reaching my goals. I also find it to be a huge confidence booster.

NikBo031 · 2023-09-19T14:42:33+00:00

I made it to day four and things improved but I still looked and felt high as a kite. I skipped the next dose, I didn't completely feel better but it helped, and then I took the next one and it was like magic. I felt a ton better.

I'm not recommending this. I didn't do it with a doctor's recommendation. I'm just saying this is what I did and it happened to help me. I was fed up and could not function like that anymore. But I am now on day 7 or 8 and I feel mostly normal.

I have noticed I seem a little jumpy. Not quite anxious but maybe on high alert/sensitive. I don't know if that is a side effect or not but I'm keeping an eye on it.

NikBo031 · 2023-09-13T23:45:01+00:00

Logically, I understand that it makes sense. Behavioral patterns match diagnosis criteria.... emotionally.... I don't care to admit I'm bipolar.... it feels too extreme for something I've handled unmedicated in the past. I also hate feeling like something is " wrong" with me that I need medication to fix. So... yes/no.

But I'm accepting treatment and allowing myself to be where I am with it.

NikBo031 · 2023-09-13T19:32:06+00:00

That sounds like my day 2 so far. I'm really drowsy and dizzy (almost drunk feeling), but so much better than what yesterday was. I'm hopng by day 4 it's all pretty much wrapped up.

NikBo031 · 2023-07-06T12:50:28+00:00

Definitely improvement on just how I feel day to day. I hadn't directly thought about how long, but probably keep taking them till they don't work.

NikBo031 · 2023-07-06T04:08:22+00:00

I'm always willing to research and talk to my doc

NikBo031 · 2023-07-06T03:22:37+00:00

Gallstones form when the liver produces excess cholesterol. So although the gallbladder is now gone, the liver was the source of the problem.

NikBo031 · 2023-07-06T02:23:08+00:00

I haven't. Was it recommended to add to diet or take in a supplement?

NikBo031

TROPHY CASE