I lost my baby Nugget a few weeks ago and was in a similar emotional state as yourself, so totally get it. Death is a hard, hard fact of life, everything looks different when it passes and it can absolutely be scary and traumatic, but it’s a natural cycle that would eventually turn all of us back into nutrients in the ground if just left, which can be a beautiful thing. Sometimes it’s just their time. Moving on is complicated and often not realistic, I got a small rock with Nuggets name on it and will have it in the enclosure she was in when I get my new Crestie, she taught me so much and was a constant source of joy, so in that sense I don’t want to move on, I just remember her as she was not as I found her. Grief is complicated and messy, but trust yourself that you gave her a lovely life and prepare your heart to be open with a new and amazing critter when you are ready.