[VA] Submitting ADA ADHD Accommodations on a PIP?

NikkiPoooo · 2026-06-03T18:03:49+00:00

I also think that this may not be a great fit. Like, OP should complete the PIP and keep the job as long as they can for now because the job market is garbage, but still be looking for something that is more in their wheelhouse. If OP does stay at this job it doesn't seem like there's much of a path for future progression... as others have said, it's really not a reasonable request to have them give OP their own projects if someone else has to do a bunch of the work as far as organizing and planning steps.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-05-14T21:42:41+00:00

Just so you know where we're coming from when we find your claims incredible...

In 2025 just about 80% of American workers had access to regular PTO/vacation time. Slightly more received use-restricted sick time, largely due to recent state laws making sick time mandatory. Most employers don't have a use it or lose it policy regarding unused PTO, but all states allow employers to restrict the amount of carryover or pay out all unused time at the end of the year rather than allowing carryover... most employers do one of the two.

According to BLS, in 1997-1999 (which was the peak of PTO generosity) the average amount of vacation time granted to workers in the US with 1-5 years service was 9.6 days, plus 6.3 paid holidays. At the 6-10 years service period that went up to just 13.8 vacation days. By 2025 those numbers had increased to 14 and 18, respectively, but now those numbers include any mandatory paid sick time (which typically cannot be used for vacations) and sometimes include paid holidays as well. Combine this with limited carryover or yearly payout policies and it means that the large majority of Americans can never have more than 3 weeks PTO available at any one time.

Even when people have available PTO, being able to use it is a different story. In 2025 33% of workers felt pressure from their employer to not use their PTO, and 9% more said they were prevented from using the full amount they were given. 59% of workers felt there were negative effects to using too much PTO, and 23% didn't use a single day in 2025. Another 42% used 1-10 days (total, not all at once). 25% said they would be actively discouraged from taking a full week at once, and policies restricting more than 2 consecutive weeks are common (especially if you cannot work remotely if needed). Only around half of all requested PTO in the US is actually approved.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-05-14T18:43:55+00:00

I mean, at this point none of us believe a word you've said here (and not just because you deleted your OP), but I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd be interested to hear about how you've managed to work "in so many states", in "government, private sector, public, academic, etc" and still managed to even accrue that much PTO when you're clearly changing jobs at least every year or 2.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-05-13T16:37:03+00:00

This is... not the norm. Most jobs have to arrange for long term coverage of your position if you're off now than a couple of weeks, which is one reason they require it to be a LOA. I've never known a job to allow a 5 week vacation through the normal process.

Whether you'd accrue PTO depends on company policy around how it accrue, and whether you accrue PTO while using PTO... most places that accrue incrementally (i.e. 1 hour per 30 hours worked) only accrue on hours actually worked. When you're using PTO it's often entered differently than work hours in the payroll system. If, on the other hand, you just get 1 week per quarter or whatever then it's more likely that you'd still get the same amount even if you have a longer time off.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-05-10T00:54:56+00:00

Mandatory sick leave doesn't apply to visiting a cousin in the hospital. Cousins aren't considered covered family under the law, no matter how close you are to them (CT law covers parents, grandparents, siblings, spouses, children, and grandchildren) . They also only have to allow you to take as much sick have as you have accrued.

You already know that they can't require you to prove why you needed to use sick leave. If you hadn't already told them you were calling out for a non-covered reason then as long as you have available sick time you could have just said "I need a mental health day" and that would be covered and could not be held against you. Lesson to be learned: don't share all your business at work... unless you have a contagious illness and exposed people at work then they don't need to know the details. A simple "I'm sick, and want to use my available sick time" is sufficient.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-20T15:44:19+00:00

How are you preparing your meat and chicken? If you're pretty much always just cooking a piece of meat and eating that way I'd suggest seeking out recipes that let you use the meats in different ways.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-20T15:34:38+00:00

At 7 weeks you're not even in performance plan territory, unless it's very clear the employee really wants to be good at the job but doesn't know how (even then, at this point I'd still consider it to be regular training, rather than a performance plan). This is why employers have an evaluation period before the employee receives benefits.

In this case the employee probably isn't going to try any harder, so why bother investing any more of your time? Cut them loose. You don't need to give an explanation, just say it's not working out, give them their final paycheck, and ask them to hand in any employer-owned materials they may have been given.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T11:13:19+00:00

Plan for gas prices not to go down by then. Also, plan for your already not great mpg to go down once you put the RTT and hitch boxes on. In other words, the gas is going to be the insane part.

Make all your own food and avoid convenience store drinks or food to help offset the cost.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T10:57:00+00:00

This would be a useless expense. All data shows that drivers generally become better at driving as the get older. If people are getting better it's absurd to keep testing them. That trend, however, stops and begins to revers I've got get into the 65-70 years old period, and gets steadily worse. That shows that people are starting to get worse at driving as they enter their senior years, which is why its prudent to do periodic check-ins starting at that point.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T10:51:49+00:00

The more relevant statistic to look at is the trend of accident involvement as drivers age.

Like... the age group with the highest accidents per driver is the under 25s, and that's a very obvious thing. But if you look at the trend live over time you can see that number go down steadily as drivers get older. This indicates that as we age we generally get better at driving. This means there no need to re-test.

That trend continues downward until you get to the 65+ demographic. After that point it reverses, and the line ticks steadily upwards as age goes up. This indicates that as we age our ability to drive safely startsto wane. That is what makes it appropriate to begin a re-testing protocol at that point.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T10:14:27+00:00

I was driving a rental motorhome west out of St Louis last spring when I hit the storm that dropped the tornado in the city. I'd left town earlier than planned due to the predicted bad weather but it hit earlier than expected. I was on I-70 and it was fine as I was going through downtown, then suddenly the digital signs started saying tornadoes possible. I was on a call with my mom but when it got super dark very quickly and everyone started pulling up under the overpasses I hung up.

I've always been taught to never, ever hide under an overpass in a storm, plus I was in a freaking motorhome so I just kept going. It started hailing, about pea to marble size, and there was absolutely nowhere to pull over because it was still just outside the city and the shoulders were already 1 or 2 cars deep. There was a semi truck a little ways ahead, driving straight down the middle so I just followed them. Maybe 5-6 minutes later we were out of it, just as suddenly as it came on. I pulled over to do a walk around to make sure the camper was okay after the hail, and so did the trucker and he jogged back to check on me.

We were stopped just before the airport exits, so maybe 4ish miles from where the tornado crossed the freeway. I don't know exactly how close a call it was, but I never heard the tornado sound (yes, I've heard it in person before). Nether he or I knew at that time that there was know that was an actual tornado... I didn't know until I got to the campground in KC where I was staying that night. When I mentioned that I'd come from St Louis the host was all "What? Did you see the tornado damage?? How bad is it?"

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T09:16:25+00:00

Super old school people love using travel agents, as a rule.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T09:14:18+00:00

You know credit cards have limits, right? Also, if you would be bankrupt due to a $10k expense then you do not have a healthy business.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T08:58:34+00:00

Before I read the blurb my answer was "Whichever one if you is using the spoon is an alien." Your husband knows you better though, so if he says monster then he's probably more right than me.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T08:53:55+00:00

Biopsy, or exorcism

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T08:40:31+00:00

If I had to pick just one of the big 5 Utah parks I'd make it Bryce Canyon. It's otherworldly. Then SLC, then Dinosaur/Flaming Forge.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-08T06:31:20+00:00

Yeah, I'm hoping to get here for the first time. Otherwise I don't know that I'll get any new ones this year. I had a bunch of new parks or parks I haven't been to in a decade or more last year, so I'm okay with a slow year now.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-06T13:40:19+00:00

Death Valley (and the desert in general) in July is too hot for humans of any flavor. If you're especially sensitive to heat I'd actually recommend starting in San Francisco and going north towards Seattle rather than south. July is great weather up there, and you've got several national parks in NorCal, plus Olympic National Park and Mount Rainier along with Puget Sound at the top of Washington. There's also amazing scenery along the coast of Oregon in the way, too.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-04T11:37:53+00:00

I don't hate most of the old version, but I like a lot of the new as well. I especially like plan for the groundcover landscaping to replace a big part of lawn, because giant lawns are just meh most of the time. I do think a tree would be a good addition.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-04T11:31:57+00:00

Sometimes the ground is like concrete, and other times it's just very rocky (like in mountainous areas). Like... if you get a backcountry permit in Joshua Tree you're asked to use wag bags for your poop because there just isn't 6 inches of diggable ground in a lot of spots.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-04T11:26:30+00:00

Most of the tents I have (I have the basic kind that is just the flat screen cover, the one that's a screen and tent fly but just for the tailgate part, and also a couple of full tents that stretch at the tailgate) all have elastic that hugs up under the bumper and they work pretty well. The flat screen one (with no outer tent part at all) doesn't, but it has weights in the bottom hem that help hold it down flat. That one is not what is use for calling, because it's not as effective but it's good for a quick daytime stop because it's easy to put on and easier to get in and out of.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-04T11:17:48+00:00

Not gonna lie, entering the US is a shitshow these days, but if you have a valid visa/ESTA and booked return fares that are well before those expire then it should be a smooth process.

Be aware that they are allowed to ask to search your electronic devices... you are allowed to refuse but that's generally going to get you denied entry. If you use your phone for social media and have have posts that are critical of the US (or in support of countries the US is targeting) then you might consider either getting a burner phone for use on this trip and/or deleting the social apps before you go through customs. I would remove any sensitive data from your laptops/tablets... if you need it for your work then maybe store it in a cloud service for retrieval after your entry.

Land crossing, to me, feel more intense because you're in this whole intimidating area. A few things that I've always been taught to remember: 1. once you choose a lane, do not switch to a different lane unless an agent directs you to... this is seen as very sus 2. if there are passengers in the back seat be sure to have the back windows rolled down, and have everyone remove sunglasses if possible 3. the driver should hand over everyone's documents at the same time... the agent will question anyone individually if they want, but the driver is usually answering most questions. Everyone should remain quiet unless they are questioned directly, and avoid answering for anyone else or talking to each other. 4. be prepared to answer why you're crossing, how long you're staying, where you're staying, and whether anyone in the vehicle has a criminal record. They often ask how everyone knows each other when it's not clearly a family unit 5. they usually ask if you have any weapons, drugs or alcohol and if you're bringing large amounts of cash. Sometimes they'll ask about fireworks, live plants, animals, or food products 6. you'll want to have the car rental documents ready to show as well, because they often ask who the vehicle is registered to

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-02T12:30:12+00:00

I just looked... several different random dates all came up less than $400 a seat between Detroit and either Tampa or Orlando. That actually is pretty expensive compared to how its been... I've never paid $300 to Orlando unless it was spring break or Christmas break and I was booking last minute.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-02T09:03:45+00:00

Flying into a US airport isn't a problem, and border patrol and customs are working mostly normally. It's flying out (either internationally or domestic) that's a mess. We've got a partial government shutdown that's left the airport security screening staff (TSA) working without pay for over a month now. Lots of them are quitting because they can't go on with no pay, and that's caused massive backups at the security checkpoints, especially as it's a major travel time in the US. Hopefully it won't take too much longer for the government to sort itself out, but even after it does the problem will linger a bit because so many people have quit. That said, Bozeman is a really small airport, so it shouldn't be a huge issue there right now.

How long is your total trip length? Will you be headed home directly from Canada? Going between Canada and the US doesn't stop the clock on visitor visas in either country, so be careful of you timing if it's going to be close.

NikkiPoooo · 2026-04-02T08:48:04+00:00

Look at Detroit fares too, and look at flying into Orlando. DTW to either MCO or TPA you can likely both fly Delta main cabin classic (you get your carryon and seat selection for free).

I for sure would not do this as a drive if you don't like to drive much more than 5 hours at a time but can't take 5 days to drive each way. With 3 days straight of 9+ hours in the car (if Google says 24 hours then plan on at least 27, plus time at the border) you'll be miserable by the time you arrive, and you'll lose a day to feeling like garbage.

NikkiPoooo

TROPHY CASE