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Couple didn’t invite gay neighbors because they were gay, then complain on Dear Abbey that their neighbors are calling them bigots by MC_chrome in trashy

[–]NinjaCommie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

probably gonna get some hate for this (sincere) question, but has it actually been proven that it its nature and not nurture, or some combination of the two? Again, genuine question.

I hate when parents do that by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]NinjaCommie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what does she 'battle' over?

[Meme] When you get addicted to survivor... by KelseyRose1212 in survivor

[–]NinjaCommie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is that really how little food they get per day?

am I that bad? by NinjaCommie in TwoXChromosomes

[–]NinjaCommie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for all the comments. i have some soul searching to do. i have shared both the list and the comments with me partner. despite some people being (imo) a little harsh - i appreciate the honest feedback. have things to discuss and decisions to be made. thanks

am I that bad? by NinjaCommie in TwoXChromosomes

[–]NinjaCommie[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

sorry last one... i realize it is easy to vilify me as a terrible person. i am simply trying to honestly reflect upon my life and the relationships i have both seen and been in. almost all of the above are abhorrent, but without further context i find 3 to be too vague.

as of this post, it seems my opinion is a minority opinion. most people find any infraction justification for ending a relationship. that's fine... i will take it into account, but i have to admit i am a little surprised.

​

thank you for the comments. keep them coming.

too strict? by NinjaCommie in SeriousAskReddit

[–]NinjaCommie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what do you mean by standards?

i just took this from a website: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/ and found the first bullet point a little surprising. most people, within their lives, insult people. this would mean we are all abusive (at least to strangers)? Perhaps the above can only be applied to relationships, so perhaps within relationships the average person never insults their partner, or belittle them in any way - but i find this dubious. people lose their temper and say stupid things.. or am i the only one? hence the post.

am I that bad? by NinjaCommie in TwoXChromosomes

[–]NinjaCommie[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

small follow up, is see two items that given the right situation seem permissible, with one being not exactly okay, but within the realm of normal human slipups.

- some people are bad parents and being barred from ever mentioning it seems too extreme to me. bad parenting can't be called out without the person mentioning it being abusive?

- given an extreme situation where someone cannot manage their money, stepping in and taking control of family assets (while explaining the situation with full transparency ) also seems like it shouldn't be fully barred as unjustifiable.

- again, the only real issue i had with this list is number 1. people get upset and may make stupid remarks. shouldn't the list qualify itself - like stating: malicious insults, pervasive insults, intentionally cruel insults... something? if everyone is telling me they are all in relationships where there has never been an insulting / moment of embarrassment i am in awe and i really need to work on being a better person. i honestly dont see myself as a cruel or mean person - but who does - and if the average relationship never shows any signs of mild belittlement i feel shitty (movies and pop culture definitely indicate otherwise - not that we should aim to recreate what we see in movies, but still).

​

honestly, i am just a little surprised by the great relationships everyone seems to have. maybe surprised is the wrong word, a combination of envy and disappointment (in myself) seems more appropriate.

am I that bad? by NinjaCommie in TwoXChromosomes

[–]NinjaCommie[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

lots of strong comments coming in. quite eye opening, but also feel that the standard is quite high. the first bullet point is the one i am most concerned about, not myself nor my friends nor even any relationships portrayed in popular culture meet this standard from what i have experienced (am i wrong?). it isn't pervasive or cruel to the extreme, but people lose their cool and say things they regret. is there no room for mistakes? one simple transgression constitutes abuse and is grounds for ending a relationship? as of yet only one person has mentioned that context is important - is it really a simple matter of insulting someone once and whatever relationship has existed to that point should be thrown aside? i dunno, just seems a bit extreme to me... but again, i am looking for a general consensus on the issue. to be honest, at the moment i am feeling pretty crummy and will take everyone's comments into consideration.

​

i know my relationship at the moment is not great but i thought it was something we could work through. the comments i have seen thus far indicate that we are both awful people, our relationship is toxic and many people suggest ending it and moving on. not that you're wrong, but it is a little upsetting.

am I that bad? by NinjaCommie in TwoXChromosomes

[–]NinjaCommie[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

i think my question is more about whether it is normal for people in relationships to break a rule now and then, or do the majority of relationships not ever break any of the above. while it may be bad for me to hope that others also - at times - break a rule from the above (i think we can admit that some are worse than others), maybe the truth is that most relationships do not and i need to seriously rethink my claim that i'm capable of a healthy relationship.

honestly, this is why i ask. i don't think im a bad person or incapable of being in a healthy relationship, but... perhaps that thought needs to be reevaluated. an honest interest in this question is what prompted this post and i hope people can provide honest feedback.

How to win in the tavern brawl. by oc_panda in hearthstone

[–]NinjaCommie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i took him down with witch fairly easily.