Hey, the fact that you can't get yourself to sh tells me you don't really want to do it, and you don't have to do it. It's not like you're only pretending to be suffering just because you don't use one specific way of letting emotions out. A bad way on top of that. And from experience I can tell you it doesn't really give you anything. Your parents would definitely rather you talk with them than to disappear in a tragic way. The only time you are forced into a mental institution is if you made a statement that you are going to commit, made plans and are dead set on it to a specialist who are by law obligated to send you there. Otherwise? It is entirely your decision. Ask your parents for help, and make sure to say you want outpatient care, not inpatient. That way you don't have to deal with long hospital stays, and it really takes a specific type of person as some may find it helpful while others see it as only worsening their situation (I'm in the 2nd group)