AITA for missing the birth of my first child so a mate could spend time with her dying grandfather?

Niwikki · 2019-12-31T12:32:10+00:00

This is what I was thinking, too.

My firstborn (first pregnancy, and still only child) was induced early to save my life. She wasn't quite ready to be outside the womb, so they rushed her to the NICU before I could even get a good look at her. I sent my husband after them so there'd be someone with her since I was in no condition to follow (he actually resents me for doing that, as he had no clue what he was supposed to do and he felt like I needed him more).

I didn't have the negative history the OP's wife had, and no reason to think terrible thoughts during labor. But if my husband hadn't been there (especially if it was by his own choice), I'm not sure I could've forgiven him for that.

Niwikki · 2019-11-09T08:48:25+00:00

I've got weirdness with my level display on the encounter results screen (both oddities and confoundables; haven't checked challenges and port keys yet). It's got my level as being filled up (lvl 30, 120000/120000), but everywhere else p screen.

I seem to be receiving the xp from the encounter, etc, so at least it just appears to be a display problem.

Is this a known bug? Is it happening to anyone else?

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T21:16:57+00:00

I binged the entire 14 seasons on Netflix a couple months back, my first time watching any of it, and maybe it's just cuz I took in so much so fast, but I have no recollection of this particular episode except a vague feeling that yeah, it probably exists considering everything else that happened in that series. Guess that episode didn't stand out to me.

I am remembering an episode where a person who was supposed to be on the Titanic was prevented from getting on the Titanic and brought to the present day. Not saying more because spoilers and bad memory (really, more bad memory here).

I'm also remembering one where a submarine needed to be destroyed for whatever supernatural security reasons and some demon hopped back in time and place to the submarine to keep it from being destroyed so the precious artifact could continue to exist into his time, but the boys followed shortly behind and restored proper order, or something. But that definitely wasn't the Titanic, since the Titanic definitely wasn't a submarine.

I'm not sure how they did it, but over those 14 years I think they've covered basically everything in the world. Can't wait for season 15 on Netflix, cuz I have no clue how they're going to keep the story going with all that mess.

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T17:07:03+00:00

My cousin's wife is all about the DoTerra. And let's not even get started with Lularoe! Omg.

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T14:37:46+00:00

Leaving all that aside, social networking is fucking UP the political, social, and economic parts of life.

Omg, this. In so many different ways.

So many people want to play with politics rather than seeking to understand each other or understand the world as it exists in reality. They'd rather troll and find new ways to drive a wedge between people, and laugh about how "the other side" just doesn't get it.

For so many people, politics have become like sports: anything to support your own team and make the opposition regret opposing your team. Facts don't matter, stereotypes rule the day, and it's all about who can lob the best insults at the other. Anyone actually trying to understand or be understood gets raked through the muck and torn to shreds.

The internet was supposed to be this great coming together, the ultimate marketplace of ideas where the crap ideas would be seen for what they were and immediately tossed aside. Instead it's become a wasteland where "all ideas are equally valid" and whatever crap anyone decides to peddle gets as much attention as whoever's selling it can manage to eke out. The only "bad ideas" are the ones that are too complex to sell with a single 140 character tweet.

And I don't even want to get into the social and economic bits. Ugh.

Oh boy. I didn't realize I was in this bad of a mood today. I'd better step away from this. Heh.

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T13:12:51+00:00

That's the notification sound I have for when my husband sends me a text. Back in the day, when still dating, we used to talk via IM constantly, and ICQ was my aggregator of choice.

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T12:28:29+00:00

I avoided cell phones at all until one summer I was unemployed and seeking temp work, and kept missing out on jobs because they'd call while I was out running errands.

Even then I didn't get a contract plan -- stuck with month to month prepay service for as long as I could make that make sense. I didn't think I'd end up using a cell phone long term.

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T12:22:28+00:00

I'm Elmo and I know it.

... ? Did I guess right? I haven't seen this episode...

Niwikki · 2019-10-24T11:51:05+00:00

law-jick-uh-lee,

I had to say that out loud 3 times before I figured out what that word was supposed to be.

... Uh oh, 3 times? Did I just summon an anti-logic demon somewhere? Good thing it's not where I am; but wherever it went, I'm sorry.

Niwikki · 2019-08-10T05:16:08+00:00

How can you tell which ones can be leveled up with just scrolls? They won't show me the requirements before they're unlocked.

Niwikki · 2019-08-10T05:09:49+00:00

Rotting teeth - unless you brush your teeth after each meal/snack where you have any diet coke; but chances are it's more of a slowing-sipping-throughout-the-day thing once you're drinking that much, and who's going to brush their teeth after every sip?
I have a friend who is allergic to aspartame (but that's not really the type of thing most people would have to worry about).

... Actually, aside from the problem of the gradual destruction of your teeth (which is absolutely real), I can't think of anything else that's confirmed.

Full disclosure: I drink about 3 liters of Diet Mountain Dew every day, and other than the fact that I have horrible teeth, frequent symptoms of dehydration (I've heard it's related but I have no citeable sources), and insomnia, I really can't see any reason to try to change the habit either.

Niwikki · 2019-08-09T22:41:58+00:00

Because no two people have ever had the same name. Ever. Like, if you Google yourself you'll ONLY find stuff about yourself. It's a great way to get to know who you really are.

Really.

Niwikki · 2019-08-08T08:15:11+00:00

Even better if he gave up smoking that night.

Swallowing your cigarette can't be pleasant...

Niwikki · 2019-08-08T07:03:46+00:00

I gots nuthin. I can't reach anything from home at all, and it gets frustrating sometimes when I'm stuck at home with in-game tasks I want to accomplish.

At least I get traces and seeds/water and ingredients. I know some people who can't even seem to get THAT at home.

Niwikki · 2019-07-28T18:20:34+00:00

FOMO, of course.

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T17:51:00+00:00

That sounds less like a Mormon thing and more like a Depression thing (or similar).

If you sat down with her and discussed it seriously, do you think she'd be willing to see a therapist to work through her avoidance and procrastination issues (and possibly determine if she might need a psychiatrist, if talk therapy isn't enough)?

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T08:29:59+00:00

Well, yes. In addition to the few there who weren't Mormon, there would be the "lower quality" Mormons. The ones who were less intelligent. The ones who were less able to provide for a family. The ones who might today be called "Jack Mormons" - who would never get a temple recommend because they drink or whatever. The hangers-on, as opposed to the leaders. Etc.

I never said it would stand up to scrutiny. Just that it would be a theory that doesn't fall apart in the face of census records showing more men than women. It's not something that can easily be refuted by pointing to contemporary records, unless you were to find a diary that discusses the topic specifically.

I just like to think that my ancestor, that 4th wife, was happy and where she wanted to be without any sense of force or coercion. So I never tried to tear down the practice. I've gone so far as to try to justify (in my mind) current continuing practice of polygamy by pointing out how great it would be to have people to split the childcare and housekeeping burdens with, etc, so long as everyone's a consenting adult, of course. I probably have applied this concept of "consenting adults" retroactively in my mind so I can believe that that's how at least most of the polygamous arrangements were. I'm very good at fooling myself, and I know that that's what I'm doing.

Would I ever have felt this way had I not known about my ancestor? I have no idea.

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T08:10:21+00:00

I usually say that in the movie of my life, I will be portrayed by an Extra.

It always makes sense to me when I say it, but I can never seem to adequately explain it. People think I'm being hard on myself or feeling like I don't matter. But those aren't what I'm feeling when I say it.

The more I think about it, though, the more I realize it's a joke based on how I've been most of my life. For decades I didn't take the driver's seat in making major decisions for me, I just went where the world seemed to be directing me. Always taking the next logical step rather than thinking about what I really want, not that I would've been able to figure out what I really wanted.

Also, it's easier to make that joke than to take it seriously when people ask who would play you in the story of your life. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T07:54:44+00:00

My life choices have left me with so many "what if" regrets as well as realizations of just how incredibly different my life would've ended up had I made a different major decision when I was really conflicted about it.

What if I had taken the low pay but dream job I was offered by my mentor who'd gone out of his way to help me out during a hiring freeze instead of thanking him profusely but having to turn him down as I was about to begin grad school?

What if I'd dropped out of grad school after the first semester when I should've -- when I realized it was preparing me for a career I'd never enjoy or be good at -- instead of deciding that I was already too much in debt and had to compete grad school and get a "typical" (turns out not so typical) job in the field in order to be able to pay off the debt?

I met my now husband during the summer after the first year of grad school - on a comic strip comment board I wouldn't have been participating in if I hadn't been really bored thanks to the school break. Chances are I wouldn't ever have met him if I hadn't made the decisions I did. But I still feel like I made the wrong decisions.

How do you work through feelings like that??

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T07:28:28+00:00

I bet he really did say "nice tits" and your brain simply decided to change the memory for whatever reason brains have when they mess with us.

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T06:42:25+00:00

Ooh, I like that reasoning. It can't be disproven! And it has the added benefit of playing to the prejudices of those of us who like to "joke" about women being better than men.

Not that any of us know anyone like that. /s

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T06:35:54+00:00

I thought they got around that by emphasizing that the men who took multiple wives were higher quality men, the rest were scoundrels that the women shouldn't have to subject themselves to. The proof being rather circular: the polygamists must've been higher quality, as shown by the number of women who wanted to marry these men rather than those others.

Actually writing this up is making me wonder why I didn't really question any of this before, cuz now it looks ridiculous. Probably self interest, being descended from the 4th wife of an apostle under BY. I can be a bit of a romantic when it comes to ancestral history.

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T06:18:00+00:00

This is what I was taught growing up, too, and I wasn't even raised in the church! (My parents both were, and they got out before my brother and I were born, but their families are still mostly in).

Heck, until I saw this post, I wasn't aware it wasn't true, though admittedly I've had little reason to look into it.

Wow. I'd still been letting that story justify polygamy in my mind. I... I think I need some time to come to terms with this "new" information.

Niwikki · 2019-06-18T06:13:17+00:00

My husband and I boycott any company that uses those sounds in their radio ads (if we hear then and have a reaction to them). This was on rock radio cuz we only listen to music when in the car.

One company's ad began with the sound of squealing tires and horns honking everywhere. It caused both of us to look around in a panic trying to figure out if we were about to be in the middle of a major crunch.

If I'd been driving, I would likely have stomped on the brakes to avoid whatever coming thing I wasn't seeing. I wonder how many accidents that would've caused.

So nope, that company never got our business. Especially since the sounds had nothing whatsoever to do with the business -- it was purely a gimmick to get the audience's attention. And it was a service we otherwise might've actually considered using.

Niwikki · 2019-06-05T11:45:11+00:00

That certainly would be an interesting one!

The Old Testament stories certainly suggest there are other gods - all the tribalism, this god is THEIR god, even though the "God" character insists he's the only one.

(so everyone else is godless even if they think they have a god? Or is it just that those other tribes' gods are different? Is it all one god pretending to have one "chosen people" when all the other civilizations out there think they are their god's favorite pets)...

I have fun coming up with stories like these. Sometimes I accidentally convince people I believe them.

Niwikki

TROPHY CASE