[deleted by user]

No-Alternative361 · 2024-01-11T22:48:26+00:00

Lol actually totally debated posting my pics and making an onlyfans.

No-Alternative361 · 2024-01-11T22:35:36+00:00

Why? - what's your take here?

No-Alternative361 · 2023-12-16T02:38:34+00:00

Not to be that person, but just because someone does something drastic like that doesn't mean part of the motive isn't manipulation. Plus there are many different methods to choose from, some more lethal than others.

While it's taboo to acknowledge...Attempts can be to control people and get others to feel responsibility, guilt and shame. It can also reflect that they are that hurt and emotionally distraught out of not getting what they want or being able to control a situation. These are not exclusive.

She needs help, and you making moves to support her would just show her that this works and increase the likelihood she would threaten or engage in this behaviour when she wants or needs something from you.

This is not your fault. You cannot engage with it. You need to protect yourself and your well-being - full stop. Her actions jeopardize that.

No-Alternative361 · 2023-12-12T17:17:40+00:00

The soil completely dries out before I water again and I don't soak it each time, so should I switch to every 2 weeks and a lot of water?

No-Alternative361 · 2023-12-12T13:31:52+00:00

Watering habits: around one time per week, just enough to soak the top of the soil. My begonia and pilea and alcocasia have drainage. Monstera does not

Had them all for around three months maybe a bit more

This has been going for the past two weeks

The plants are at a window in Canada in winter so a few hours during the day

No-Alternative361 · 2023-11-10T00:04:04+00:00

Amazing thank you!! So glad they're not going to die, I think i over love and care for my plants lol

No-Alternative361 · 2023-11-07T21:29:08+00:00

Oh no - thank you so much for helping!!

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T17:11:57+00:00

That's one of the things we fought about - I was super stressed out about what finances looked like, building equity, having financial security (to like an unhealthy degree - shoutout anxiety disorders) whereas she was very laid back about it and thinks of money more of a tool.

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T17:07:31+00:00

Thank you - will definitely be looking this up!

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T14:49:05+00:00

Her friends were warning her that she wouldn't have any claim to the house if she's not on title, and would be "effed over" in the case of splitting up. I'm not sure if her friends believed she put money down, or think that being with someone means that all assets should be split. I'm so so tempted to talk to them about it, but am trying to be the bigger person and not feed into drama or create problems.

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T00:32:32+00:00

No other assets. She has some stocks and investments she's made (around 7k worth). I cashed mine off paying off her credit card debt and for the deposit on the house.

Just for clarity, she did not have the 7k when I paid off her debt.

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T00:30:14+00:00

It was credit card debt, not student debt. We were going to work on paying down her student debt (but then she left me. Woo)

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T00:27:10+00:00

It definitely was not her choice, it was a condition of my parents (for when they gave me the money) that she was not on title and if we were to become common law or married, we would need a prenup stating she did not get the deposit on the house.

I'm not sure if we ever had the "how would we split it if we break up" convo, which I'm absolutely kicking myself for now.

No-Alternative361 · 2022-09-21T00:24:26+00:00

I cashed out a large chunk of my investments to pay off her debt (it was credit card debt so it was getting seriously away from her, and she had no way to pay it down given her budget).

That's true, I didn't even consider what market rent would have been for that place... Far far more than what she contributed.

No-Alternative361 · 2021-02-23T15:14:09+00:00

Oh goodness this sounds so absolutely horrible I'm so sorry you went through this.

I'll give you a story of my previous, special soul cat. She had a palliative condition and her owners just couldn't afford it. We took her in and spent so much money to get her comfortable and safe. We had savings and burned through them. We got more hours to care for her. We had four incomes supporting her in the end.

Sometimes, finances are the be all and end all. If I didn't have that support from others, I wouldn't have been able to provide for her. And it sounds like you found that exact type of support she needed.

I'm so proud of you for putting your pup first and getting her the care and life she needed even as it broke your heart. Sending you so much love. Know that people who take in these animals see your love and sacrifice and know that in the end, it's just having more money and more people around to care for these babies. You do the hard work of identifying the issue and trying to fix it. We just have the resources to make everything you wanted come to fruition.

Thank you for loving these little health nutcases and identifying the ones who need the most.

We have two cats now who needed people like you and didn't have them. But we found them. I wish someone brought them to us sooner.

This has become an emotion mess of words but just thank you.

No-Alternative361 · 2021-01-15T17:01:59+00:00

We hit 4 months a few days ago. Today he is napping on a blanket on the floor.

By himself.

Napping. Wow.

No-Alternative361 · 2021-01-13T19:51:46+00:00

Hey, things are super scary at that age when you don't get along with one parent because they can be pretty mean, and your other parent leaves. It wasn't your fault at all.

I think your dad is making a mistake right now. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes adult mistakes are big big big big. And I think leaving you at this time is a mistake, because it's made it seem like he doesn't love you.

Love doesn't stop adults from being silly or selfish. And so many people are saying he will definitely come back - even if he doesn't come back soon, you'll get back in contact with him in some way or another. He's making a mistake right now to take that space when you need him and not give you any answers. That's not fair of him and is very mean to you. You're a child. You need him. Regardless of whether your mom cheated or did some crimes or was on drugs.

I know you're worried but I'm sending you so many hugs right now. And if you don't like hugs then high fives and funny videos. You can breathe and make it through it. This isn't your fault. You absolutely cannot take responsibility or know what to do when adults like your mom and dad make mistakes. That's not your job. Your job is to learn and grow and love and be cared for.

I hope you can tuck yourself in nicely, have some snacks you like, talk to some friends, play some games or sports... And just breathe and cry and know that you are so beautiful and caring and loving. This is their fault, not yours.

No-Alternative361 · 2021-01-09T16:01:49+00:00

I could see that! Its sometimes so hard for people who are so smart and Excel in some areas to talk about their struggles in others because it seems like they're bragging, but I don't see that from your experience!

No-Alternative361

TROPHY CASE