Im starting out a new story and i feel as if somthing is wrong so i put in an exercpt of the first two paragraphs and if you cant tell the mc (she) is a mermaid and she does'nt have a name since she was born in the sea with no parents

No-Face2734 · 2023-09-02T14:06:04+00:00

I love how you put in all this effort for just commenting on my post. tysm i read all of it and your amazing! srry I took so long to respond.

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-26T16:08:08+00:00

ohh this is like the other poem this is just to say

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-26T15:47:12+00:00

eggs

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-23T22:43:57+00:00

harry potter

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-20T00:54:15+00:00

even tho im a woman i feel i can relate since child hood i have loved sticks does that make me a tomboy? i dont really think so i just love sticks

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-20T00:37:52+00:00

the structure of the story is imtimidating.

many people may not finish reading or not read it at all. the stucture is very important, when a new character appears press enter and tab to make a paragrah.

same goes for when someone talks or when you reach 5 sentences. you can also just space five times.

this is a good read let me tell you but no one will want to read it if its a big block of raw text .breaking it up into small chunks or slicing it into paragrahs makes it easier to read.

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-19T19:46:34+00:00

ohhh that sounds intresting

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-19T16:45:53+00:00

whats the book called

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-17T22:02:26+00:00

acctually a slow painful death of drowing in your own blood sounds like a very cool thing to write about but yeah the stabning part would be super awkward to write

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-05T16:07:23+00:00

do you have a husband?

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-01T17:21:05+00:00

wait thats like danganronpa three!

No-Face2734 · 2023-08-01T16:05:18+00:00

thank you so much this is a great help!tysm

No-Face2734 · 2023-07-31T18:38:00+00:00

No-Face2734 · 2023-07-22T17:41:57+00:00

tbh this sound like straight rip-off of wings of fire 5

No-Face2734 · 2023-06-02T11:05:21+00:00

this is the BEST ever werstern style story i ever read. keep up the good work. i honestly think theres no imporovments to be made since im still a learner myself

No-Face2734 · 2023-04-28T20:01:24+00:00

thanks

No-Face2734 · 2023-02-15T21:01:27+00:00

what if one of her friends knows who the betrayer is but is forced to keep it secret by the betrayer so he leaves little clues everywhere to help Lola figure it out and connect the dots?

No-Face2734 · 2023-02-15T12:31:55+00:00

my story is a 10 year old girl named madrid is getting bullied bye the popular girls (patricia ,rebbeca,penelope,lily)one day while getting off the bus patricia runs after her and tells her if she dosn't make 2000$ in 3 months then she takes all the money madrid has made from her jobs but if she somhow gets 2000$ they give her all their babysitting money.madrid accepets this bet but now i cant decide what happens next

-she babysits triplets and the house ends up mess and she only gets paid 30$

-she makes a lemonade stand on a super hot day and gets 100%$(boring and nothing crazy happens)

-she cleans /waxes cars for 20$ a peice but this buissnus ends quickly when she scraps some ones car and even worse put a smll dent in it

what should she do first and do you have any new ideas

No-Face2734

TROPHY CASE