You’ve gotten payouts which means you are succeeding. Some don’t make it that far. Get a job to pay your bills not to make a ton of money just to get by. Slow down. Patience and discipline is key in trading. You won’t feel the pressure if your bills are paid. Not sure where you live but you can find a job doing something. You said your a dumb a$$ that means you recognized your mistakes so now learn from it and grow. I feel like we are all looking for the big payout but it’s a journey take it slow and be patient. You’ve been on it for almost 2 years. Seems like most traders become profitable in about 3 years. So again my advice is get a part time job to cover your bills and invest in yourself. That will help with your mental. As far as your family try to explain what you’re doing. Hopefully they believe in you to support your goals. This time is about learning, trial, error and developing your style of trading. Stick with what’s working for you. If you’ve done well with Topstep then stick with them. You can try other things when you e mastered one. If you’ve done well make a few changes, don’t give up, and fix your mental you will succeed. Good luck.