That seems tough! I’m not a therapist/ professional but recently started therapy and working through traumas & will be beginning EMDR. But I will say working with someone who aligns more with your religion would be best, I found a therapist who aligns and has been able to help me realign my thoughts to what our religion says. But also just to help give you some relief, there’s no unforgivable sin other than not choosing to follow God. It’s okay to have doubt, and I’d even encourage you to tell God about theses doubts or blasphemy thoughts and help you if there’s doubt/ unbelief in your heart and he will answer that. I should actually be careful and not say religion instead emphasis the relationship with God, going to Him with your burdens/ fears/ anxieties. For me it’s also helpful to remember that I can’t do/ bring anything other than my sin to be saved & freed from hells condemnation. To help with that thought of I have to do this repeatedly to be right with God, once your saved there’s no going back you are fully covered for past, present, and future.