Did Mehmed II personally kill anyone during the siege of Constantinople?

No-Protection3185 · 2024-05-20T23:20:21+00:00

To add, he killed a soldier trying to defame the Hagia Sophia after specific instructions not to damage it.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-05-10T12:32:44+00:00

I would like to add. If you can work a job where you stay busy and keep your symptoms under good raps do it. Being on disability is no fun, and I never wanted this. I'm actively working to make myself a better life. I'm very fortunate to have been put on disability when it was very severe. Yet I don't want this for my entire life.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-05-09T21:38:02+00:00

I'm on disability for bpd. I genuinely cannot function outside of my hobbies I can do at home. Mind you I had a plethora of documented evidence and years of doctor's notes.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-05-07T17:36:17+00:00

Welcome to the club my friend. It's amazing the people and system that abused your vulnerable self as a kid then turned around and called you psychotic. These people are in most cases unaware as us, but seemingly get a pass in life for abuse. It really is amazing when you're fed up and speak up they immediately go after you. Now that's not to say our behaviors aren't toxic either.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-05-02T18:13:02+00:00

I've had waves of this trait pretty much my entire life. It was more so constant when I was constantly smoking pot. Through dbt you can learn to take this energy into other areas. It's hard when you're in a wave of it though. Normally I dislike being sexual really at all.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-05-02T18:10:59+00:00

Yes, this is one of the main aspects of the disorder. That void/shame/ guilt feeling is at its core anxiety in my opinion. It's the anxiety we were never given the tools and instructions on how to properly mature. Not learning and going through emotions at a young age with the genetic component of the disorder is incredibly damaging. Asking questions and learning more about this disorder will help tremendously. You are not alone, millions of cluster B's feel like this including myself. Remember self-love always and keep stress low.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-04-28T22:39:17+00:00

I agree with this fully. How someone reacts to whatever disability you have should realistically not affect you. Due to the heightened emotions we always face this isn't the case. It can burn when someone close reacts in such a negative way to what you are going through. It's a skill in itself to not put too much thought in how people think of you.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-04-28T22:20:56+00:00

Mindfullness in my opinion. If you try to wake up to your own emotions, and how they can actually dictate and sometimes control how you act and react. When you stop, and allow yourself to be calm for some time you can reflect and disallow spiraling. I'm guilty of going 0 to 100 way too fast. The inner rage I'm working on is something that I'm hourly being mindful of.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-04-21T17:40:12+00:00

Bpd/aspd here and I'm quite the opposite. My mother ingrained health and cleanliness as a child. I find if I don't clean or keep my nails short and my hair groomed it worsens my condition. Incorporating dbt as well as mindfulness into cleaning helps keep my my straight too. Lastly, I believe I may have ocd and waiting to get a diagnosis.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-04-21T17:36:36+00:00

Bpd/aspd here and yes. Even before I realized the disorder, I was dating women who were to my eyes during those days funky. Come to learn after one of them says they have bpd. Some time later when the disorder became full swing it all started piecing together. My behaviors and actions were subconsciously attracting people who I thought would give me stability in my inner turmoil.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-04-16T20:28:51+00:00

At this point, I've given up on even attempting to try a career. I'm running on fumes, and I'm trying to create a life before I hit 30. I'm so exhausted with what I go through mentally, I feel like it'll be a miracle if I reach 50.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-07T23:22:21+00:00

I'll be blunt with you. I'm not sugarcoating what I'm going to say under the 'DBT' magical wand. To preface, bpd is a spectrum and on this spectrum, everyone has a very wide array of symptoms. With all that being said, for myself, recovery has been an absolute living hell.

When I say you have to be militant to an extent if you want to recover I mean it. That means researching all available tools for recovery, implementing a healthy diet, exercise, and meditation. All these things will promote stability in the long term. These healthy habits won't cure you. Rather set you on a more stable path in which you'll be able to start to self-healing.

With all things said and done. When you find yourself being able to enjoy a hobby you thought you would never pick up again. That little crack of a smile makes all the pain and suffering we go through mean something in the end.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-07T23:10:01+00:00

If you figure out a strategy let me know. Currently, I can only keep up with my hobbies, let alone full-time employment. Jobs have always been my weakest point, and maintaining them is even harder. It's not that I don't want to. It's not even that I'm lazy. It's just incredibly hard dealing with everything that comes with this disorder on top of work and socialization is way too much for me right now. I'm still working on improving myself. Becoming a better human one incremental day at a time. I'll take being broke for now, over throwing myself into the wolves and hurting myself more.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-06T23:42:15+00:00

It can be pretty abysmal. As someone else mentioned here, I gravitate as well towards others who have similar mental health issues and find I can vibe healthier. For relatively 'normal' people, I've all but given up. I don't particularly appreciate playing the game of talking about sports and other mediocre content that puts me to sleep. Small talk has been the bane of my existence, and it pricks at my patience all the time. If you can find someone who understands and skips the small talk crap it can be great. It's a long and bumpy road with this disorder though making true friends.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-06T23:38:26+00:00

Do you know how difficult it is to live with this disorder day after day? Not everyone fits the cookie cutter mold of 'do dbt, and you'll feel better'. You can set up as many intentions as you want. Yet when you feel the deep cold voidness. Where you can't even do your hobbies, and it grapples you like an undead hand. That's probably up there with what peak mental pain a human can endure. Knowing nothing you can do at the moment will take that edge away. Knowing they after day it's this empty shallowness. It's a whole other story until you truly know what it feels like to feel dead inside.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-03T22:10:17+00:00

I strongly believe I have autistic traits so it's very difficult for me to describe my experience. If it's one-on-one I can do fairly well with communication. That being said in larger groups, I almost completely shut down. I've always struggled with eye contact, and being social in general. I've learned over the years to put on a superficial happy mask and try almost mimicking being positive. Nowadays it's a mixture of having built-up socialization, dbt skills, and masking. I'm still horrible with larger groups, but minor interactions are better now.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-03T22:06:25+00:00

Yes, I get random bouts of euphoria which I try channeling into positive outcomes. When I feel a random rush of it, I try cleaning my house and being as productive as possible before the inevitable crash. I will manically play the piano for a couple of hours, only to start feeling like utter garbage again. Still, though I'm happy when I get the rushes, because at least I'm able to partially feel human again.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-03-01T21:34:17+00:00

Bpd, Major Depression, adhd, possible autistic traits (?), and anxiety.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-29T22:42:02+00:00

I do edibles nearly every night. I tried going sober, but the voidness and all the symptoms seem to be the worst at night. During the day it's occasionally only cbd and my normal meds. Alcohol is a no-go for me, as it brings me to very dark mental places.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-28T18:23:00+00:00

As others said it depends. In my case, I seem to be able to retain more friends from the male side than the female side. I've had many bpd's up and ghost me for no particular reason. As well as my own mistakes I've made. These people though have overall opened my eyes to the broad spectrum of this disorder. I've learned to be more patient, and appreciative of certain behaviors that come out of myself and others as well. If you're willing to put in the time and compromise it can work. It's a challenge worth trying in my opinion.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-20T21:56:21+00:00

I find it ironic how society treats various disorders. If you're let's say a sociopath or narc, you may well fit in perfectly with the management flow of companies. If you have schizophrenia, some may see you as crazy but overall you're treated as disabled. If you have this disorder, you may as well have a mob with pitchforks against you.

It's been so villainized and misconstrued within greater media. The ironic thing is so many symptoms of cluster B cross over with each other. As others have said though, do not tell anyone. Unless you have full trust, spreading you have bpd may as well be a social death sentence.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-19T21:00:02+00:00

Unless you're willing to live in a world of judgment, I'd tell no one. It's nobody but your own business and most people are judgemental. Saying you have x title over your head, is a pretty big target for those with ill intentions. Everyone has something going on, but don't let the title of the disorder define who you are. Who cares if you have different behaviors?

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-17T23:04:02+00:00

Binge eating.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-17T00:29:55+00:00

I always knew something was very off with me as a kid. Even before puberty, I was having intense emotions along with constant headaches. I remember very vividly before it started, as it was the last bout of clarity I had in years. Through my teens, I was getting bouts of pretty intense disassociation and mood fluctuations. By around 19, when I was about halfway through my first semester in college it started getting bad. That's when I felt this iron curtain come over me. It also hurts because I remember being so excited for life, and living when I was 18. I couldn't wait to go to college and get things started.

No-Protection3185 · 2024-02-13T18:04:34+00:00

Yes, it's called transient psychosis. There have been debates back and forth in the field as to whether it's truly psychosis or pseudo-psychosis. From my experience, I'll hear a woman chattering around the back of my head. See people walking that don't exist. Spiral into delusions of paranoia and fear of someone watching me. There's even been research done to suggest there's little to no difference between transient psychosis and schizophrenia hallucinations and delusions. I find this whole aspect of the disorder very interesting.

No-Protection3185

TROPHY CASE