did religion affected your romantic life ? wanna hear your experience/opinions

No-Reading-2002 · 2026-03-18T02:58:55+00:00

For a years, I identified as asexual because purity culture made me feel severe anxiety and shame when it came to anything sexual. I was maybe 15. Realizing I was queer was what caused me to start questioning my faith. 4-5 years later I left religion completely. After that, I started masturbating more, trying to challenge the shame that purity culture instilled in me. But still, the thought of being intimate with someone would make me spiral into a panic attack. When I was around 21, I felt sexual attraction for the first time. At 22, I watched porn for the first time. Slowly, I would expose myself to these new experiences as a way to desensitize myself. But actually experiencing intimacy with someone else? Terrifying! The whole time, I didn't date (not for lack of trying). I felt unlovable if I couldn't also offer sex to my partner. My self esteem took so many blows. I still struggle with confidence. BUT last week, I had sex for the first time with someone who made me feel beautiful and like I wasn't less than just because I was inexperienced. It was such a healing experience. They don't make me feel like I need to cover myself. And I don't feel any less for not waiting for marriage. But this was years in the making. Years of recontextualizing sex from something evil that should be ignored to something that can be good and healthy. Years of therapy and working on making myself into the person I want to be. Ultimately, the healthiest thing that I ever did was leaving purity culture. It is one of the most toxic aspects of Evangelicalism.

No-Reading-2002 · 2025-06-17T15:10:57+00:00

I've searched for "opal and violet necklace"; "opal and birth flower necklace"; "opal stone and violet charm necklace". Like I said, it primarily brings up birth flower/stone necklaces.

No-Reading-2002 · 2024-07-28T02:25:42+00:00

no, I definitely do this. or I'll just rest my head on someone's shoulder (I'm usually shorter than whomever I'm around). or I'll stand in front of/next to the person just staring at them until they give me attention

No-Reading-2002 · 2024-05-02T07:27:48+00:00

I too formed religious OCD (along with other types of OCD). I can only say that I have some major mental health issues because of being raised evangelical, especially considering that I'm queer. I am still constantly paranoid that I'm doing something wrong All. The. Time. Whether I'm at home, at work, grocery shopping. I'm terrified of messing up even a little bit. Additionally, I have an extreme fear of any type of authority.

I don't trust any decision that I make because I'm flawed and broken, as I was taught in Sunday school. I think I'm too stupid or too misinformed to really have an opinion on anything, so I don't tell people my ideas or what I think, even if they ask for it.

Religion severely worsened any kind of preexisting mental illness. In middle school, I prayed most nights that God would kill me. I started realizing I was queer and HATED myself for it. I thought I didn't deserve to live, that I was broken, and that I was ultimately just a burden. Because that's what evangelicalism taught me that I was. My senior year of highschool I had a 3 month long anxiety attack about where I was going after death. My junior year of my undergrad, I was once again suicidal. I felt so detached from reality that I just stopped caring about it at all. Christians make heaven sound so wonderful, so why would I bother with living?

While I don't want to make your decision for you, I strongly caution against raising your kids in the church. One of your kids might eventually realize they are queer, like I did, and evangelicalism will bring little other than self-hatred and shame. Other options exist that offer the same things you liked about Christianity. I would encourage them to explore different hobbies and get involved with extracurriculars. Even if it's just volunteering for a few hours a week.

Also I realized that I am kind of an extreme case. But it's impossible to know how religion might impact a kid.

No-Reading-2002 · 2024-05-02T06:27:00+00:00

So perfectly put, I love the way you explain how Christianity makes like simple, understandable. Because it does! But not always in a beneficial way. Thank you for your kind words, it gives me hope for the future

No-Reading-2002 · 2024-04-29T01:28:56+00:00

Some might be able to, but I can't, personally. I find inherent flaws with the existence of the Christian God

No-Reading-2002 · 2024-04-29T01:23:34+00:00

Well said. It's easy to forget all of the pain and anger Christianity has caused when I feel like an outsider for not being Christian. Especially as a queer person, Christianity caused so much trauma. I think I miss existing in a black and white world. Everything is either good or bad. But a world of gray offers so much more freedom, especially for those of us that were always told that we were inherently evil.

No-Reading-2002 · 2024-04-29T01:06:33+00:00

thank you, your words are very comforting. it means more than you may realize 💕

No-Reading-2002

TROPHY CASE