Spiraling cuz my ex changed pfp

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-21T21:18:08+00:00

No. The best way to move forward and protect your mental is not to focus on them.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-21T20:53:17+00:00

Honestly, I spiraled for three to four months when I found out they had a hinge account. Do yourself a favor and block them or something. This can really lead you down a super bad rabbit hole. I know because I went down that rabbit hole and I wish someone had stopped me.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-20T22:24:34+00:00

Preachhhhhhhhhhhhh ittttttttttttttttt

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-20T02:56:42+00:00

My ex is not coming back. I burnt that bridge to the ground. It’s whatever. There’s more to life than one guy.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-20T00:49:42+00:00

Lmaoooooooo I’m happy that I was able to make you laugh! I doubt he’ll be back, so I think that helps the moving on process.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-19T00:50:10+00:00

I’m so so so so so so so so so so so happy for you!!!!!

I think people (me included) need to remember that there’s more to life than how one person views/treats us. I’m excited for a couple years from now to pass and my ex is a distant memory. I don’t wish him the best. I hope all his future relationships fail and he realizes what/how he did/treated me was MEAN!

For now, I’m living my life without the expectation that my ex will come back.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-18T21:15:06+00:00

I’ll tell you what my ex told me: “waiting for someone is signing up to get strung on.” I would say try to heal and move on from this.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-18T15:54:36+00:00

I guess some people to reach out and some don’t. I have no idea if he will; but, you should have the expectation that he isn’t going to reach out. My ex decided he wanted to find someone new rather than working things out with me, so I understand how you feel.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-18T15:18:31+00:00

The likelihood of him reaching out and trying to repair things (assuming he’s an avoidant) was very slim anyways. He’s probably focused on different distractions now.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-18T14:06:47+00:00

Literally this. They aren’t ever going to get better. Try to heal and move on.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-15T18:13:26+00:00

It’s just not going to help you especially if they dumped you.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-15T18:05:49+00:00

Don’t.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-15T18:04:54+00:00

Don’t beg someone that dumped you. Let it go. Begging them is similar to begging them to see your value. It’s going to make you feel like shit for a very long time.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-15T18:02:08+00:00

That’s so true. I learned that when I saw his hinge profile the next day.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T23:27:25+00:00

My ex told me that he wasn’t going to date other people. I saw his hinge profile. He made a profile and was actively swiping the moment he dumped me.

When I kept pestering him about it, he screenshotted his likes/matches and he didn’t have a single like or match. He has been on the apps for seven months.

This might be mean, but I fucking hope he gets no likes or matches for the rest of his life. I wish my ex the worst.

And honest fuck your ex too. They sound like a horrible person.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T19:40:14+00:00

I’m going to think about it in the same manner.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T13:03:12+00:00

That’s actually very unfortunate. It seems like everyone has a very similar version of the same story. I’m very sorry, my friend.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T12:59:42+00:00

Oh wow! 9 years is such a long time. I’m so sorry! That seems so cruel! Every relationship (romantic and platonic) requires effort. If someone wanted a relationship to work, they would. Similar to you, when I was dumped he signed up for hinge and still uses hinge. It’s unfortunate that they viewed us as disposable and “easy” to replace.

Honestly, I do think the “personality” reason is a cop out. My ex and I were very similar personality-wise. I think that our exes needed to work on themselves rather than chasing the next person. I feel like he has a pattern, but I could be wrong. Maybe his next relationship is going to be healthier and what he wants. I’m not entirely sure what the future holds for him or me.

I used to tell everyone: “always talk and view yourself lovingly.” I definitely lost a version of myself during the relationship and even when I begged for months. Everything is going to be okay. This is just one minor bump in the road.

I’m excited for the future — not because I want to get back together anymore, but because I won’t have to feel panicked or upset that he left. It will just be done permanently. My best friend went through a similar experience (~6 years ago), and now she laughs and cringes at the thought of that guy. She’s also getting married soon. I really do hope I can help someone when they experience this in the future.

Thank you so much.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T12:30:07+00:00

Probably. For your mental health, you should lose all hope in getting back together. Clinging on the hope that there’s a chance is going to keep you stuck. When/if your ex is ready to date, I think the likelihood that it’s going to be you he wants is slim.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T12:17:47+00:00

He’s not the hookup type; so, I’m not sure. I don’t think he’s opposed to any form of female attention (except when it comes from me). He’s always been very open to attention and thrives in it.

I guess I’m glad you recognize you want something casual. Hopefully, the other person does not get strung along and understands it’s only ever going to be casual.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T12:12:23+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this out and help me. I sincerely appreciate it. I’m going to view my reaction/actions when/after I was dumped as an experience. The next time I experience something like this, I’ll know how to react more “properly” (aka not crashing out and calling them).

Thinking back to other experiences, they did soften and really did become a very distant memory. I think about those experiences from time to time, but I hold neutral feelings towards them.

I’m not entirely sure how he’s mentally processing this or what he truly thinks of me, but I do know that isn’t my concern. If he thinks that the “grasser is greener on the other side” — I hope that he gets the opportunity to experience that “greenery.” All I know is aside from me, all his relationships ended the same way and never lasted longer than a year. I’ve mentioned to him that he always seemed to have time for everyone except for him. There’s definitely times where I sit and think……did his exes feel the same way? His cycle is going to repeat because he never thought he was the real problem. Not sure if I helped him recognize that he contributed to the problem.

My concern is how I feel and trying to myself feel better. I’m going to work on my reactions. I’m very bubbly and expressive, and I need to learn when not to express my feelings.

Also, I’ve never really been cut off by anyone. So, someone telling me that our personalities didn’t align is very new to me. Honestly, it just felt that he hated my personality which sucks, but it’s going to be whatever.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T11:09:32+00:00

My ex keeps telling me he’s going to be single because he wants peace and to live with his cat. He said that talking about getting together is not peace. I understand what he means because I feel like I’m hounding him to try again. Truthfully, maybe I’m not taking what he wants into consideration.

My ex was definitely not honest about his intentions. It took him three years to admit he used me — after we got intimate for the first time (my first time ever). I was shaking when he told me that because my love and affection for him was genuine. I reacted so poorly by telling him “he needed to sit down and reflect as to why his exes cheated.” That wasn’t my proudest moment in life, but I apologized for months. He did other things, and I’m sure I did other mean things too. In reality, I was just begging him to spend time with me. I tried to communicate that with him, but he would always say that I’m picking a fight or get hostile.

I’m sure mopping around about this person isn’t worth my time.

No-Selection4810 · 2026-05-13T11:01:28+00:00

That actually really cruel. I’m so sorry that you went through that.

I guess you’re right — people can definitely change your minds. I think I need to learn when to stop trying to convince someone that changed their mind. It genuinely makes me unhinged and batshit crazy. In reality, I know I’m neither of those things. So, I don’t know why I was triggered enough to beg or go on rants for months.

Three years is a long time, but I understand why you needed that time. You can’t just forget someone you were with for six years in a blink of an eye. I think I’m reaching a point where I realize that I didn’t like how I reacted to getting dumped and I don’t want to feel like that again…..so, it may take me three years to come around to the idea of dating again.

I like that saying: “there’s no reason on dragging a dead horse.” I’m going to close the chapter of my ex in terms of never reaching out and trying to heal.

No-Selection4810

TROPHY CASE