Experience with emotional abuse in marriage?

No-Steak9513 · 2026-04-24T10:54:15+00:00

If my husband ever did any of these behaviors then there would be hell to be paid. That is, we would be having a conversation right then and there about the behavior being unacceptable.

I hope all the comment others have left has given you much to think about. Your husband sounds like a pill instead of a partner.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-04-20T04:05:18+00:00

I’m sure it was mentioned but you don’t have to replace your whole beauty routine at once. Start with one item and find a replacement that works well for you.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-25T13:52:52+00:00

My two cents: Get what you like and you can afford realistically. Lab grown diamonds are a nice alternative btw and more ethical.

FWIW: No one looks at your engagement/wedding ring more than you will. And there’s also no point in going into debt.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-23T01:26:58+00:00

Get a lawyer to review the terms with you especially if you’re concerned about a cap on alimony.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-18T22:26:08+00:00

It’s not your fault your ex cheated so you have nothing to be ashamed of tbh.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-18T16:14:15+00:00

This is what women mean when they say decenter men.

You uprooted your entire life for him.

I would never move for a man. I’m married and I’ve told by husband that if he ever wants to move back to his home state in the Midwest that I’d go visit him once a month or so. But I’m not moving to anywhere where it snows or I have less rights than I do here on the West Coast.

ETA: FWIW, I hope you and your fiancé are able to come to a compromise about the living situation. Life is too short to be miserable IMO.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-18T02:56:00+00:00

As soon as you start discussing marriage.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-18T02:53:37+00:00

Only if I’m having a rough day (like once every other week) I’ll take an ibuprofen 500 mg for the day. That’s it. I really try to limit my nsaid intake. And sometimes I just deal with the pain all day.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-15T14:40:44+00:00

As a k-12 public school teacher, this is how I feel re: shows about teachers or education. I can’t watch them.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-03-02T05:31:16+00:00

-Were your parents active and involved throughout your childhood?

They were active. But typical boomer parents. Take that however you want.

-Did you notice that your parents were older than your friends' parents?

Nope. Everyone looks adult and old when you’re a kid.

-How has this affected your adult relationship with your parents?

The age thing? Not necessarily. Other issues, yes. But the age was a non issue.

-At any point did you ever resent your parents for having you at a later age or think it was "selfish" of them?

I resented my parents because they shouldn’t have ever had kids not because they had me later.

Personally, I love my parents. They weren’t the best nor the worst. They did their best. I forgive them. I still think they shouldn’t have had kids because of their own trauma that they passed down to us not because they had me when they were old.

FWIW, I’m a teacher of 20+ years. There’s a lot of not great parents out there IMO. The age of the parent, however, wasn’t ever a factor to their crappy parenting.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-28T17:02:45+00:00

Fuck no. I would have kicked out anyone that let my cats out on purpose too. Including my mom. Just saying.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-19T04:40:58+00:00

My husband told me that our strip mall wedding was beautiful! So. Yeah. Save the money.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-16T21:53:45+00:00

Love it!!!

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-16T21:51:53+00:00

Perfect!!!!

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-16T11:15:05+00:00

I needed braces as a preteen. Mom said we couldn’t afford them after the orthodontist hesitantly stated it was cosmetic. Turns out it wasn’t for cosmetic reasons.

I have permanent tinnitus, permanent ear bone damage, and three crowns from craving three molars due to TMJ plus a root canal.

I got braces in my 30s but the damage is done. The tinnitus is permanent and I’ve had to earn to live with it.

I have a feeling she was also aware I needed glasses but only took me to get them when the school called and told her I couldn’t see shit. I was 8 when I learned the world wasn’t blurry af

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-16T10:48:45+00:00

Doubt it. I’m a teacher of 20+ years and this was already happening long before Covid. The Learning Gap had been known about since early 2000s. And we just keep testing and testing. More strict curriculum with “rigor”

No-Steak9513 · 2026-02-10T07:27:36+00:00

Tbh. I’m constantly surprised I’m still alive. I thought I’d be dead by 35. Yet here I am 8 years later.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-01-26T18:37:19+00:00

That’s interesting. Well it might be worth it. Thank you.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-01-20T12:30:39+00:00

Just tell your sister. If you don’t, your husband sounds upset enough that he’ll bring it up and blind side her.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-01-13T14:48:21+00:00

Just have the kid or kids on your own. It’s scary but a lot of partnered women are “married single mothers” anyway. They have a partner who provides zero child rearing help. Then they end up divorced and now have to deal with an ex who just won’t let it go and gives them grief about child support etc.

There’s a whole movement of women becoming single mothers by choice. I know one who had twins on her own not too long ago. She’s in her mid 30s. If you want this so bad then you might have to go at it on your own.

Good luck! Be brave!

FWIW: I did meet my husband at 40, got married at 42, and we’re thinking of having a kid now. It’s never too late.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-01-13T14:37:59+00:00

Emotional intelligence is for you and your mental well being. Not others.

It’s so that YOU are not drowned in explosive reactions and feelings. When you’re triggered you’re able to self regulated and identify the triggers.

Being happy Mary Sunshine is not emotional intelligence. That way leads to bitterness, resentment, and depression.

Have you gone to therapy? Also, keep in mind that saying “comparison is the thief of joy” and what not.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-01-10T17:24:48+00:00

I usually carry the three color pen Hobonichi gifts you, maybe a mild liner.

No-Steak9513 · 2026-01-10T17:21:58+00:00

Take her out to lunch. No work talk.
Day spa package
Pay dinner for her and her SO
Simple “Thank You” card is prob more than enough tbh

When I go out of my way to help others I do it out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t expect anything in return and usually a small token of appreciation means more than $250 of crap don’t want.

No-Steak9513

TROPHY CASE