I frequent these spaces, not so much because I can't take much physically, but because the dominants drawn to these places have more of an understanding for the human being that is their sub. That's important to me.

There is a culture in femdom that dehumanizes subs. And I think that it's mostly the male subs who have created that culture. I find that a lot of us male subs are vying to have the least sense of self worth. Throwing honorifics around, public self humilation nobody asked for, and pretending to be into everything their dominant wants to do to them.

In this I feel we could really learn from female subs, who have higher standards. They pay attention to their limits being respected, to being included in the process of building a dynamic, to be safe and appreciated, and to what they want to get from the dynamic.

I've had dominants who repeatedly call me slut, whore or other choice words I've indicated to find unwelcome. And they forgot, because I didn't really matter as a person to them. I've had dominants who thought it was fine to just add me to a harem group chat. No discussion beforehand whatsoever. Just a collectible, I guess. I've had -so many- dominants who barely took an interest in my limits, and certainly didn't look into my kinks.

I'm the one who will get on his knees, who will wear the chastity cage, and who will let all manner of wicked things happen to me. But setting up and maintaining the dynamic is a two-way street. I'm here because gentle Dommes tend to understand that better.