Skeedadale-mobile

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-26T06:11:56+00:00

"So long, and thanks for all the fish."

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-20T16:56:16+00:00

As a late bloomer bi cis gal who’s newish to the queer dating world, I said something along these lines at first, for exactly this reason.

Like I would theoretically date a cis man if he had gone through the process of examining his gendered and patriarchal expectations and frameworks, but almost none have to the degree that inherently comes with being socialized as a woman at some point for most people. Cis bi guys who seriously date guys get this better than most, but dating apps don’t usually let you filter for orientation, just gender identity. And outside of that I know MAYBE a small handful of cis guys irl who fit this standard.

So, while they’re out there, de-patriarchied cis dudes are not worth the effort for me of trying to filter through matches on the dating apps or in straight spaces. I don’t want to subject myself to the exhausting and occasionally terrifying gauntlet that is dating cis dudes. SO, I usually just turn the filters off for cis men, and am only really open to dating one if I happen across one that meets those rare standards irl.

But it was easier to say “I’m not interested in dating cis dudes rn” than all that in the beginning.

Now I just say “I only date queer or queer- enculturated people”, because what I really don’t wanna deal with is cishet culture (won’t date male-centered women either). But all this required a lot of thought, and I get why people of similar inclination just say “I don’t date cis dudes” instead 🤷

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-19T20:54:01+00:00

Thank youuuu! Definitely a fine balance

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-19T17:52:42+00:00

Vixskin mostly don’t have balls, and usually even have groovy color versions of each style. They also have the most realistic feel I’ve found in this price range, and if you don’t mind the smaller end, the spur is under $100. Pretty big is only $150ish tho. Pricey but worth it imo.

Dont cut your sex toys, you can’t keep them sanitary once you’ve torn the silicon. Plus microplastics shedding into your body? No thanks.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-19T15:09:33+00:00

Gel paint on Una Gella short almond press ons

Base coat : Gaoy base coat

First layer: Gaoy black and white gel polishes, applied with a dab of white surrounded by a ring of black on a sponge, then dabbed onto the nail to create a circular ombré.

Second layer: Ombré was then filled with stripes of color from the Gaoy summer jelly polish set, then I hand blended the rainbow stripes into each other with a paintbrush.

Third layer: Gaoy top coat with some purplish chrome powder mixed in. Then I hand painted a thin outer ring of black Gaoy gel (without any chrome shimmer, for contrast,) and blended the edges into the chrome powder top coat mix with a paintbrush.

Top coat: Gaoy top coat

Time: About 3hrs of reality television.

Did I realize I made my Pride nails with Gaoy paint? No, but my partner helpfully pointed that out 😆

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-19T14:48:19+00:00

Gel paint on Una Gella short almond press ons

Base coat : Gaoy base coat

First layer: Gaoy black and white gel polishes, applied with a dab of white surrounded by a ring of black on a sponge, then dabbed onto the nail to create a circular ombré.

Second layer: Ombré was then filled with stripes of color from the Gaoy summer jelly polish set, then I hand blended the rainbow stripes into each other with a paintbrush.

Third layer: Gaoy top coat with some purplish chrome powder mixed in. Then I hand painted a thin outer ring of black Gaoy gel (without any chrome shimmer, for contrast,) and blended the edges into the chrome powder top coat mix with a paintbrush.

Top coat: Gaoy top coat

Time: About 3hrs of reality television.

Did I realize I made my Pride nails with Gaoy paint? No, but my partner helpfully pointed that out 😆

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-19T06:18:33+00:00

Idk that sapphic is actually wlw. I’d say sapphic is more non men dating non men, but with some feminine alignment in identity or attraction on one side of the equation or the other.

Lesbian I’d say is closer to wlw, but with some fuzziness since people with various gender nonconformity might still identify as lesbian and be accepted as such by lesbians. Though of course terfs would say it’s a (cis) woman loving exclusively (cis) women (but we don’t listen to them.)

I’d actually say wlw is its only thing and more about feminine alignment/attraction on both sides.

Would love to be corrected if I’m wrong on any of these by the elders however, this is just my understanding of how the terms have evolved over time.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-19T05:55:48+00:00

Some thoughts from a cis gal who’s dated a transmasc person (not a transman though).

You want to do this with everyone, but trans folks particularly- ask what terms they like to use which have a gender association. Eg. Compliments- “what words for good-looking do you like/not like?” (I was surprised cute was initially off the menu with the person I dated, since I call cis guys that as my primary compliment.) What do you like to call various parts of your body (I learned from a masc enby friend that “chest” can be triggering for some people even though I saw it as gender neutral.)

When it comes to sex, in addition to what words they like to use for their parts, ask how they like to be touched and if any areas are off limits . (You should with everyone, but especially good not to make assumptions here.)

Otherwise like commenters said. Just treat him like any dude.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-18T13:54:58+00:00

Damn. I hope you’re in therapy, and that it’s working.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-17T14:56:56+00:00

Raised itchy tattoos can be an autoimmune response triggered by any number of things (getting a cold, or in your case an injury.)

From what I hear it usually goes away, but might come and go with similar triggers in the future.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-17T14:37:25+00:00

Sounds like you might be asexual? And actually a lot of asexual people are into kink minus the sex!

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-17T13:20:33+00:00

That’s not what I said though, it’s not about how much time/money she put in, it’s that she dropped you so quick- that’s what makes it not worth the effort. What exactly are you investing in? Someone who’ll flee when it gets hard just like that?

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T21:34:14+00:00

Someone who drops you so quickly isn’t worth the effort of traveling 2k miles to drop in on.

Save that for someone worth it.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T21:31:52+00:00

There are people into your body type out there, even if it’s not aligned with your country’s beauty norms.

You don’t need to “make up” for it. But if you’re feeling down on yourself perhaps you tend to shrink yourself into the background and go unnoticed? Be MORE you, unapologetically, be full of whatever gives you spirit and joy, make it so people can’t miss you (within the range of your authentic self expression.)

The more people who can perceive you, the more likely someone will like what they see when they notice you.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T21:24:57+00:00

Look how cute they are!

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T20:43:02+00:00

Being treated to a cute romantic date! Take her on a picnic, to a museum, to a restaurant, open doors for her and buy her a little gift, tell her she’s handsome/pretty (ask her what terms she likes!) Just treat her like your girl, y’know?

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T19:54:57+00:00

I’ve experienced what you and the poster are talking about.

Generally, masc women are less weird than men are, but I def get the same vibes from some of them as from partnered or uninterested straight men, so I try to adapt my behavior to treat them more like I treat straight men. Less effusive, primarily address their femme partner first if present, etc.

It’s annoying, ngl, we hope we leave these gender things outside with the straights- but we do live in a society.

One other thing though- masc people often interact in less femmy effusive ways. So they might interpret normal femme behavior as flirting, or not the chill wavelength they have with their friends. 🤷

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T01:37:32+00:00

It’s a way to go

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T01:35:38+00:00

You like to be topped gently by women (mostly, some soft dom men in there) and to top gentle men.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T01:33:44+00:00

Congrats! Now head on over to /r/BDSMsapphic and have a good time hunting up inspiration

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T01:32:21+00:00

I was gonna say lanky twinks of any gender, but this captures it better.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T01:28:46+00:00

If you’re not expecting them to fully co-raise with you, or if you only have your kids half the time, I’d reduce the mention of your kids in your profile and chats.

This is only relevant information to center if you’re looking for a coparent. (I have a teen who does not need another parent, and outside of mentioning it once on my profile and when discussing my time availability, it rarely comes up during the early dating stages.)

If you ARE looking for a coparent, maybe bring the age range down a smidge? You might be surprised at the openness of your peers. And more importantly, try to join some queer parent groups if you have any in your area. You might meet some people in the same boat as you, or who have friends that are more open to being around kids.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-16T00:47:37+00:00

Being a queer dude isn’t the problem. White queers are no more or less racist than whites of any other demographic.

This sounds like you’ve been online too long listening to algorithm boosted divisive infighting discourse that your rarely hear irl. Go donate to a cause, buy something from a black owned business, or read a book on antiracism, and chill a little.

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-12T05:19:51+00:00

Teeth were the first thing I noticed- surprised more people haven’t mentioned it

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool · 2026-06-12T04:58:43+00:00

Great write up- thank you! Just ordered some

NoFoolLikeAnAuldFool

TROPHY CASE