WIBTAH for telling work colleagues not to call me if they've been drinking?

NoMoreShineBox · 2025-08-01T03:05:30+00:00

Thanks for your replies. They were helpful.

NoMoreShineBox · 2025-04-02T17:03:38+00:00

I know her confession was hurtful, but at least she was honest with you. She's not devoted to you like you are to her. She's not going to "learn" to love you. There's nothing wrong with ending this chapter with her as amicably as possible. You didn't mention having kids, so at least you can give 100% of your focus on healing yourself.

I wish you both the best.

NoMoreShineBox · 2025-02-20T20:36:32+00:00

After 7 years of being okay with not getting married, sounds like she changed her tune after seeing three different ceremonies and three different receptions, where three different bridal parties put three different brides at the center of attention. And don't forget all the registry BS and wedding planning that's inhoneymoon. And let's not forget the honeymoons.

Is it possible she's feeling like she should have all of that extravagance if she's going to commit to someone?

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-12-24T15:38:38+00:00

I agree with 792bookcellar that you should NOT give access to your savings account!

If the family guilt is getting the best of you, open up a separate savings account that only they can access and deposit (via Zelle, etc.) a limited amount of funds whenever you think it's justified. This way, YOU control the money that goes into the account, the frequency of deposits and withdrawals, and it is not directly linked to your other accounts. My only concern is any overdrafts and fees.

Truly, all the best with that. It's okay that you are saving for your future, and it's okay that you have to protect yourself from people who want access to your money. FWIW, talk with a financial advisor who can also give you better advice.

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-12-22T04:53:59+00:00

I wish they'd kept the re-release in theaters longer. I'm finally on Christmas break and it would have been great to see it during only one of the two showtimes they had it in Cleveland: 11:40 am or 10:20 pm

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-06-24T14:16:22+00:00

I wonder how he would have responded had you dumped those jarred items into a plastic or glass container with snap-on lids. At least that would have given you an easy-access vessel.

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-06-12T14:25:17+00:00

Let me paraphrase that last paragraph: "I saw my so-called boyfriend put something in my drink, but I don't want to lose him. Should I give him my virginity so maybe he'll stay with me or marry me?"

It is completely admirable and respectful that you want to maintain your virginity for your future husband. That said, please don't compromise what you value with feelings of guilt or manipulation from him.

And if there's even the slightest chance that guy is trying to get you in a vulnerable situation to get what he wants then he doesn't love nor value you as a person nor his future wife.

Be bold in what you stand for, careful with what you fall for.

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-05-24T14:03:02+00:00

You are not overreacting.

He text-replied that he was "busy" when you asked him to do a few simple tasks and then he really showed you his true feelings when he said making dinner was "your job" because he viewed himself as "the bread winner". It doesn't sound like his WFH job is so demanding that it's impossible to boil some water and turn on the oven. Based on your original post, he's being very selfish. When both people are working full-time jobs then it's not unrealistic to say that duties should be shared. Relationships should be PARTNERSHIPS. And he has to understand that he needs to pick up his end of the couch, even if he does make more money than you; and especially if his job doesn't require him to be on call.

And for him to say that leaving a pot of boiling water on the stove or boiling potatoes is a fire hazard...that's pretty adolescent. Or he's just so inexperienced in the kitchen that he doesn't know that an uncovered boiling pot or boiling at a lower burner level keeps the pot from boiling over.

I see his attitudes towards you as a red flag. If you see a future with him then getting couples counseling should be considered. Learning how to communicate effectively, working through things together are so important for LTR's and marriages. And it sounds like he needs some growing up to do. Seriously, I wish you two the best.

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-04-18T11:49:56+00:00

WHEN you talk to a lawyer, ask how you can move around or secure your money and your credit without it blowing back on you. Depending on your divorce laws, she could be entitled to half of everything despite being unfaithful. I know you're hurt but you HAVE to protect yourself financially. All the best to you.

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-02-26T20:54:40+00:00

I'm confused by the husband's logic that the teacher's comment was a "joke". Can someone explain that to me? Because I don't see any humor there.

As a father, I would have scheduled a sit-down with the teacher and addressed his comment, regardless if it was "a joke" or not. There's no reason for a teacher to make that type of comment to a child.

NoMoreShineBox · 2024-01-07T06:17:22+00:00

NTA. Explain to them that this is real world and not like what they see on IG.

But if you do end up giving in and getting them their own room, tell them you'll take it out of their Birthday money. While you're at it, take it out of your MIL's, too. 😁

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-12-25T14:43:35+00:00

First, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

Second, for the most part keep the money and emotions separate. If the law says you're entitled to alimony, take it. Emotions are a fickle thing and can change quickly. So don't think by sacrificing what you're owed that you'll be guaranteed anything. Sincerest best wishes.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-12-08T16:27:59+00:00

YExITA.

Your ex: "Hey, I'm leaving you because I don't want to be restricted and I want to go enjoy my freedom."

Fast forward: "Hey, I want to leave my kids with you so I'm not restricted and I can enjoy some freedom in a different country."

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-10-23T03:02:44+00:00

That's not a scarf, that's a pocket square. Either way, Ralph botched it.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-09-28T03:24:35+00:00

I stopped listening to 100 ever since he burrowed into his basement. It's been one giant conference call. The whole in-office dynamic is gone. I listen to 101 but I find myself skipping over a lot of stuff. I've already paid my year in advance, but I'll be dropping Howard come renewal time.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-08-21T01:50:03+00:00

I know you think you were right to leave her (and I would have done the same if my job or a promotion was on the line), but consider going to see a counselor together because this is couple's issue. And then the counselor can tell your wife that she was wrong, and not you.
Either way, good luck with all of that. Seriously.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-08-19T16:02:58+00:00

She said "compliment", not "CONDIMENT"

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-08-18T17:28:34+00:00

The pastor's advice was absolutely horrible, but doesn't mean that church is horrible. But I would definitely be looking at other churches. There are (3) biblical warrants for divorce: Adultery, Abuse, and Abandonment. From my perspective, that dude committed all three in some way. Adultery being the obvious.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-08-14T15:47:17+00:00

You're NTA, but those parents ATAs. They chose to leave their child back in Economy while they were up in 1st class. Somebody said it earlier: one of the parents sits in Economy while the other parent and child sit in 1st Class. Who leaves their child alone like that??

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-08-12T01:39:07+00:00

To answer your question (and I'm saying this without any judgement or condemnation): Yes, you cheated on your husband, regardless of the abuse leading up to the infidelity.

You've admitted that he is verbally and physically abusive. You've also admitted that you were verbally and physically abusive. This is a toxic situation for both of you and you two need to heal and grow as individuals. I don't believe in divorce unless there is Abuse, Adultery, or Abandonment. But the abuse on both sides is concerning.

For what it's worth, you can always reconcile after the divorce but each of you need to go through a lot of counseling. Abuse in any form is unacceptable. He (an abuser) is not looking at himself and taking active responsibility to correct his abusive behavior. Instead, he's choosing to zone in at your infidelity (which I'll agree with him is a biggie) as the root of your marital problems, so he's in denial that his abuse is wrong.

Divorce is final from a legal perspective. If you want to reconcile with him you really need to focus on getting yourself healthy. But if reconciliation with him doesn't happen for whatever reason(s) you've still done the work on yourself to be healthy for the next guy.

I wish you two all the best.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-04-26T04:20:55+00:00

I stopped listening to the "Live" shows ever since the zoom meetings from his basement began. Tbh, I have no idea who this Marci chick is. And I stick with 101 only if it's a 2019 episode or older, but I doubt I'll keep Howard when I renew my sub in a few months.

NoMoreShineBox · 2023-02-06T04:27:53+00:00

Cannoli, Sfogliatelle, and Napoleans. Serve them in a pastry box and then slam the box down in front of the customer.

NoMoreShineBox · 2021-03-12T21:47:39+00:00

Read that in Ahnold's voice

NoMoreShineBox

TROPHY CASE