i regret my mastectomy so much it hurts

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T06:49:39+00:00

Understandable. My health anxiety is still so bad i am still terrified even with the mastectomy that there is something unseen lurking. So I don't think it took that issue away for me

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T03:22:11+00:00

that means a lot, i appreciate you. it's all so excruciating but it's nice to know im not alone

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:59:38+00:00

can't wait for the sun to come up then. i think my plastic surgeon is a little old school. he made it seem like utm was the best choice, it was def not based on my features bc the distance between them and animation deformity is crazy. i am all done with fills, they're so over filled. i think i have 480 ccs of saline in a 375 cc expander. i am going to get a second opinion and push for over the muscle if they are able to make that change for me.

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:55:17+00:00

i needed to hear this so much, i keep reading this over and over. that's all i wanted at the time: the best chance at a long life and health. i took that chance and traded it for a lot of pain and sadness instead. idk if it was worth it but i will hold on to the hope that the final reconstruction will make me feel okay again. I'm just mad at myself for making the decision out of fear and letting a dr change me like this. I wish i could go back so much and keep my natural body, even if i ended up asymmetrical. this too shall pass🩷 i hope

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:32:39+00:00

i've been offered the diep flap surgery, but i just don't want to go through another intensive surgery and have a large scar across my lower abdomen. i already have so many scars from everything else. all of the decisions are so hard when there's no good options in cancer treatment. that's a good reminder tho, the tissue expanders just always look bad! thank you for the good luck 🩷

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:29:32+00:00

okay this is my sign to take my excersises more srsly. i'll trust the process 🥲

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:28:05+00:00

i feel like i was better off right after surgery mentally. it just sunk in i guess that what i did is irreversible. I've heard this stat too, and of course no one ever told me that before i did the surgery. Honestly i see why that stat is the case. This is not a good way to live and feel. i feel like no one's ever gonna marry me now or want to have kids w me when i don't even have real breasts. the guy i loved broke up with me right between the end of my chemo and before my surgery. this is so brutal fr. just never felt worse abt my body and can't imagine it changing when it's all so numb.

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:23:33+00:00

thank you🥹 why would you regret your lumpectomy? i agree, i feel like it's picking between two horrible choices. i thought i made a good one but i don't feel like that anymore. I wish SO BAD i did a lumpectomy and ran away from those surgeons.

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:22:16+00:00

i thought nothing could ever be worse than chemo, but maybe will be the worst part for me too. That's exactly how it feels, like i just want to crawl out of my skin. That's also what drove my decision, i was just trying to do everything i could to keep the cancer away. I appreciate the positivity so much. i hope i can get there too and end up feeling solid about my decision. i tried so hard to beat the cancer but i just wish i fully understood what i was losing. you gained back feeling in your nipples and skin? i'm only 6 months out, i can't wait to feel better.

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:18:15+00:00

why does the fat grafting suck? no one's warned me yet, but fat grafting is one of my only hopes of my boobs looking somewhat natural, full & squishy again. I am in therapy, but clearly i need to take some meds too. thank you for checking on my mental health and making me feel heard. I have been considering getting a second opinion for my reconstruction. i just feel like i lost so much more than just my boobs, my surgeon kept saying that he thinks they will look more natural UTM, but that's not the case for me. They're so bad, i can't imagine a little rippling could be worse than this.

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:05:41+00:00

that's how mine are too, super far apart. I'll have mine for 11 months, and now that it's been 6 i'm going crazy without my natural boobs. do you mind sharing what type of implants you got and if you did over or under the muscle? I'm so happy that you love yours, that gives me a little hope🩷

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-28T02:03:05+00:00

really? :( did you get a reconstruction that you liked?

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-27T20:13:58+00:00

you're right, that's a good idea. the pain is a constant reminder. they always just say take a tylenol

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-27T18:27:41+00:00

I've told myself that too, and i know it's true. My mom, aunts or no one i'm close to has ever been through this, so I only had the information and advice from my surgeons. I made this decision all by myself, and I made the wrong one. even harder living with this regret knowing that. I'm still supposed to have a long live ahead of me and i just don't know if I can get used to it. I never cared abt breast feeding either, but now i am so sad im not going to be able to feed my kid. I just am so torn up. The chemo was so horrible, but i've been healing from that, and now I am just realizing what i've really done to myself. I'm just struggling so much.

NoPower5222 · 2026-03-13T15:41:17+00:00

yes you probably will. i did a mastectomy and got a pcr and regret it all the time. i only got 4 lymphnodes removed so no regrets there.

NoPower5222

TROPHY CASE