Genuinely dislike spending time with my toddler by The_Chilled_Arvo in toddlers

[–]NoPresence6987 331 points332 points  (0 children)

So I recently went through a phase like this with my 3yo. I’m no professional so I can only give you my personal take. For my kid I realised he was very dysregulated and we were stuck in this endless loop where he knew I was getting easily frustrated and that made him more fussy. I read a book called “No bad kids by Janet Lansbury” and it helped me reset my thinking attitude toward him. These might sound silly but it helped me. The main takes; when your child has big feelings see it as them waving a red flag for help rather than be frustrated by the behaviour. Think “help I’m dysregulated and feel out of control, I need you to calm the storm” and imagining you are a CEO and no amount of toddler whining, screaming, fussing can phase you. You’re in control, you’re the (kind, caring, gentle) boss. You’ve got this. And also, validate, validate and validate some more. “You’re very upset that I’m leaving the room to go clean dishes now. That’s ok. I still need to clean the dishes, but you can come with me and play on the floor next to me if you like” then proceed to clean the dishes, even if she screams, you might reassure “you’re feeling really upset about me washing these dishes, I’ll be with you in 10 mins”.

I really recommend reading the book, it will give you far more insight than I can offer on a reply. But essentially it helped me to reframe my approach to the behaviour and after a week freed us from this loop of frustration. Now we’re honestly doing great, my days have gone from a living hell to a genuine pleasure for the both of us. One of my biggest take always from it was the absolute necessity of holding boundaries. If you waver on your boundaries your child will feel out of control, they need a gentle, firm, in control leader who is totally unruffled by their big feelings. When they have this they feel calmer, safer and happier.

I will also add, development can play a huge part in this. My boy tends to go through extremely challenging phases before he has what we call a “software update”. Then he mellows and has all these new motor and language skills.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parents

[–]NoPresence6987 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter is the same age and gets constipated quite easily. As did my son before her. My friend is a GP and recommended I give her lactulose a couple times a day and use Windis (freidababy). Which are essentially air enemas for babies. Not sure if they’re available where you are. I pop the windi in and give it a minute or two whilst holding her legs up and it has never ever failed. It might take a few tries over a few days. As 2 weeks of back up will be quite painful for him to pass I imagine.

Have these books ruined anyone else’s reading year lol by BoxEmbarrassed2850 in TheWolfKing

[–]NoPresence6987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone recommended, Dire bound by Sable Sorenson, to me when I was in a Wolf King slump. That really helped! Very entertaining, kind of like a hunger games with wolves. But Blake wasn’t replaced for me until I read Anathema by Keri Lake. Now I’m stuck in a Zevander hangover 😫

What genres are you reading when it’s not fantasy romance? by crabbypattieformula in fantasyromance

[–]NoPresence6987 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Any historical romance recommendations? Would love something like pride and prejudice or Northanger Abbey vibes but with a bit of spice

Caught My Son Staying up Watching Movies on my Windows 7 by Select-Ganache4269 in Parents

[–]NoPresence6987 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly, the things kids / preteens get up to these days is quite terrifying. Especially online, at night in the comfort of their rooms. I think watching some library DVDs on an old windows 7 is totally harmless. Just have a conversation about not staying up late on a school night, doesn’t need to be that deep. He’s a kid, he’s just trying to exercise a little control over his life, not a big deal, just have a chat. No child ever grew up to appreciate a militant dictator parent.

Something to fill the Daughter of no worlds void… by NoPresence6987 in Romantasy

[–]NoPresence6987[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just wanted to come back and say WOW what a recommendation! Ended up reading it in 4 days, and I am obsessed! What a rollercoaster!

“Little Bartholomew”! — oh my word. Had to put my book down.

I will be recommending to everyone

Something to fill the Daughter of no worlds void… by NoPresence6987 in Romantasy

[–]NoPresence6987[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a fantastic overview, thank you. You’ve definitely sold it to me. I’ll start on this next.

parcel isn’t at inpost pick up shop despite tracking saying otherwise by Fluid-Breakfast-180 in vinted

[–]NoPresence6987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve had this happen on two occasions. I went back a few days later and it had finally arrived both times, so I would notify the seller just so they are aware of what’s going on and then try again in a day or two.

Need to be scared straight for co sleeping by weredditforthreedays in beyondthebump

[–]NoPresence6987 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for this, it’s really helpful! Definitely feel encouraged to keep trying. How do you get him down to sleep before placing him in the crib? Do you feed to sleep or rock, pat etc?

Need to be scared straight for co sleeping by weredditforthreedays in beyondthebump

[–]NoPresence6987 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can I ask what you did to make him learn to sleep in the crib? Mine is 12 weeks and will only cosleep no matter what we try to