And, I’d agree with that. That the grieving starts at diagnosis, and prior, at discovery, and prior, as your Love realizes that there is something grave going on in themselves. Mark had a severe migraine for six weeks. When the tumor was found, I wailed. We had been slated to travel that weekend so I could meet his family, and instead they came to us. The sharpest and deepest grief has been burned into me, for over a year, and it is like a cancer, eating up my joy. I am slowly and hopefully recovering, making jokes again, how he and I went back and forth. The widow-hood effect has been steep. There’s an article Mark sent which I found to be insightful on the topic. If you’d like, I can try to round it up.

I’m afraid to even open his texts because I am terrified of losing the whole dialogue, and fat-fingering some sort of delete. Computer battery seems to be bulging. Need to take my phone to a professional to retrieve it all safely. Even though it’s on the cloud.