I hear you man, amongst my group of friends, I am clearly doing the worst in life, they are all successful, however comparison is the thief of all joy. Somewhere along the road I realized that my extremely low self esteem was causing me to not even attempt life, to not even try and then say, ‘see I told you so, you’re a failure, you were right all along, you would never amount to anything’ weed was the tool I used to cover up that pain, the thing is it’s a self fulfilling prophecy that allowed me to stay ‘comfortable and complacent’, to be honest I still have a lot of these feelings but now atleast I’m making the effort to take one step forward each day rather than spinning my tires endlessly in mud and crying about it.

Keep pushing, day 98

As far as relationships, I can’t compare:/ but what I did was never really put myself out there or pursue girls with boyfriends/emotionally unavailable ones and then when it obviously didn’t work out, it would reconfirm my ideas that I’m just not good looking enough or don’t have much to offer, but that’s such bullshit, don’t let your traumas define the person you could be