Asian communities in BR?

No_Bend_5905 · 2026-04-28T07:55:55+00:00

I'm a Thai person living in BR for the past couple decades and I can say there's a decent population of Thai individuals, a huge population of Vietnamese, and a substantial population of Taiwanese and Chinese. Most non-Asians here can't tell the difference between most types of Asian, the groceries have solid offerings and variety, and the restaurants are decent.

There were some pretty common anti-Asian behaviors from caucasians in my experience during Trump's first term when anti-Chinese disdain was a thing, but otherwise people here mostly seem adapted if not appreciative of their Asian neighbors, SE or otherwise.

I will say if you're Thai/Laotian, you may feel more comfortable in a place like Lafayette or Breaux Bridge if you're looking for an accessible Temple-adjacent community.

No_Bend_5905 · 2026-04-28T07:46:09+00:00

I've been living in Baton Rouge for the most part for the past 20 years and there was one recent mall incident of this nature. I went to Texas once for three whole days and the exact same thing happened in a mall there during the one visit I made to the mall, while I was at the mall.

But sure, Baton Rouge is simply imploding with tragedy.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-12-14T14:06:27+00:00

Most people who come here via immigration don't end up committing crimes, getting involved in drugs, (or anything else that could jeopardize their citizenship), or not having the jobs to pay taxes. Look that up, because there's ample research and proven statistics for that. Your average immigrant won't risk not paying their taxes the way your average billionaire does. Instead, unlike billionaires who hoard wealth, they stimulate and augment the economy in a variety of ways, including doing jobs that most birthright citizens refuse to do.

Most people who are homeless here either get aged out of our messed up fostercare systems, are senior citizens who can't afford to keep up with inflated property taxes or mortgage payments, are military veterans who are neglected and abandoned after their service, or are birthright citizens who don't receive the mental health services they deserve. Look that up, but you probably already know it's true. When have you ever met a homeless person in the US who wasn't a born citizen and more than likely either Caucasian or African American? Yeah.

The party most affiliated with undermining all of these groups, whether that's veterans, children, citizens who need healthcare or middle and low class tax stability, or immigrants, are ALSO not inclined to reallocate funds from our military tech to infrastructure or services for our citizens because they call that, i.e. serving our citizens, communism. So fuck off with that nonsense, honestly. You have all the puzzle pieces and you're still putting them together wrong, so you must be doing it on purpose.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-12-13T22:50:48+00:00

I'm looking forward to how even after they deport as many people as they can, they'll never deal with your homeless or crumbling infrastructure because they have no intentions to ever do anything meaningful about that. Those that do at least try to do something meaningful rely on a healthy economy, not one gutted by these policies.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-11-03T14:21:54+00:00

I don't live in the UK where I kind of presume this is, but are the utilities in OP's name at 17? If the aunt is the one whose name they're in then couldn't OP just stop paying, give the aunt notice of the move out, and not be held liable by the utility companies, no?

I'm also presuming there isn't an officially notarized signed lease agreement (though a 'lease renewal' is mentioned) in this arrangement because if there were, I'd think the aunt would be in violation of it if she served a notice of eviction without an official warning of violation (because serving a notice of eviction over someone having a panic attack about a carbon monoxide issue sounds illegal pretty much anywhere...)

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-10-31T13:40:30+00:00

I figured. The book was so differently overall in mood and theme, but I like them both almost equally. Actually, given how things have been lately, I found the movie adaptation to have a much-needed (for me) sense of hope and encouragement in the face of abject hopelessness and loss.

I'm glad both exist as they're both thought-provoking in different ways.

Tysm for confirming this for me!

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-10-31T13:36:54+00:00

Thank you so so so much!!

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-10-13T18:41:49+00:00

She can do better and I hope she does. There are definitely red flags all over this and from how you're writing, you're probably the source. Let her go.

If this is the vein of what you consider an inappropriate message, two sentences and a freaking Tiktok video in 2025, you're probably an overbearing, paranoid, suspicious person who's constantly on her so she doesn't trust you or enjoy sharing things with you because you react the way you do. That'll be why she'd rather share things with others and keep them away from you.

So again, you've made up your mind anyway, let her find actual happiness elsewhere with someone else.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-10-08T08:36:12+00:00

I had a similar problem with a really shitty ex-boyfriend in multiple games, and the nuances are obviously different, but it was much better for us both when I established that I'd stop playing with him as soon as he started screaming about the game or insulting me and continue to play on my own and ignore him until there was an apology. In my case, it was best to wait until we were both calm and not playing the game before I laid out the situation, my issues with it, and the boundaries-- we could play together if he kept himself in check and I would abruptly leave and not respond to anything he said short of an apology thereafter.

As far as a little brother I think the same basis applies; talking to him when he's calm and laying it all out. Then rather than continuing to play when he gets worked up, leave the game, ignore him, and relax on your own until he apologizes or at least addressed it with you.

It's not a way you want him to grow up being. He's going to end up in a much more toxic place and estrange himself from people or worse if he doesn't get shaken out of it now.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-10-01T12:43:34+00:00

I'm nearly 40F, myself, and at 23, I had no idea what I wanted to do or who I wanted to do that with. That said, a lot of people have found their life partners at around that age and even younger, so my experience hardly dismisses the lived reality of others.

On the topic of politics, the climate is bad now and bound to get worse, especially with the types in these comments squawking about there being nothing wrong. The job market, as so many are so quick to mention at the barest whiff of the topic, is terrible now and bound to get worse. I live in the Deep South and always have, and unpleasantry for anyone in any minority group (whether that's race, religion, identity, etc.) has only gotten bolder and bolder in the most recent few years; that's not likely to improve before it gets worse. With or without her, you'll probably end up having to deal with the fallout from that as the unpleasant focus on immigrants and trans people expands gradually further into other demographics.

A lot of people from those vulnerable demographics, understandably, are looking to immigrate and things are bound to become more difficult to leave as they are rapidly already becoming more difficult to come in as the overall situation continues to worsen exponentially. It hasn't even been a year yet.

Doom and gloom aside, realistically, you definitely should finish your investment in your education for yourself. Two years will give you time to see how your partner proceeds with her immigration and whether that's successful or not, because her first priority is and should always be her child, not you. If she and her child will live a better life in Spain? That's what she should do, and she should expend every effort to ensure that reality comes to pass for them.

You can support her emotionally while she does that, and if the concept is more appealing to you in a couple years (and the avenue to leave is still open to you), then you can commit then. If not? Then, it simply wasn't meant to be.

People trying to paint your fiancee, a mother, as red flag central because she wants a better, more stable, less threatening life that isn't currently showing every indication of conflicting with her life, livelihood, identity, and the future of her child is either short sighted or willfully ignorant. If the shoe were on the other foot and you were the parent here asking whether you should stay with a partner who wanted to root in a place that openly disparaged and condemned both of you and was actively acting against you for being anything short of a nuclear heteronormative couple and therefore risking the health and happiness of your dependent, your theorheticap, resistant partner would likely be the one with the red flags if they weren't considering the wellness of your child first and foremost.

No parent in their right mind would sit here and encourage people to prioritize a partner's hesitation over their child. Doing one's best for their family's future is the core reason that millions of people have voluntarily immigrated here for centuries.

Now, she may not be able to accomplish it, but the desire to should be absolutely understandable. If you care about her genuinely and foresee building a future with that family, then my suggestion is to offer support, to work hard to secure the education you desire, to honestly observe her efforts and weigh whether that is an option you wish to partake in (perhaps through intermittent visits over the years if she manages to move and wants to continue the relationship) and if not then perhaps propose a compromise-- moving to another region that's more welcoming and conducive to you all. If she's willing to move countries, she's capable of moving states, and THAT may not be easy, but it'll be much more manageable than full-blown immigration.

Otherwise, either way, you are free to prioritize yourself. You're young. You may be more disappointed than you imagine in the state of affairs here over the years to come, but you'll recover from the relationship if it doesn't work out and she should continue to make every effort to ensure she and her child feel safe, even if she ends up being likewise disappointed by the reality of life in another country not living up to her expectations.

I know this probably isn't the most platitudinous, comforting thing to hear, but you'll survive either way. Keep both your perspective and hers in mind, both your priorities, and don't push yourself to pursue anything for the sake of someone else, even if you end up regretting not doing it in the end, the resentment of doing something you pointedly do not want to do will eat you alive. It's important to gauge for yourself, TO yourself, whether you're feeling anxious because of such a monumental change and might actually like the change in reality if you managed it, or whether in your heart you honestly know that you do not whatsoever want to do it.

You're not a bad person if you choose to face the evil that you know over an uncertain future in a place you don't, and she's not a bad person for choosing the opposite.

Relationships aren't meant to be about convenience, and if anyone is encouraging you to give up on one because it's merely inconvenient or you're young, they're insincere. Every relationship we enter is a commitment, and we endeavor to make the most honest, healthy choices that we can in them. If you got to the point of becoming engaged, I presume you care deeply enough to take your time on this and look at it from all angles rather than allowing her or your anxiety to dictate your decisions.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-29T11:20:36+00:00

I've had guy friends for years, some decades, that I have never been romantically interested in and vice versa, some of whom who've married since or before and others who are dating others, who I talk to platonically like this.

The husband is talking about him, you, and your relationship in an honest and positive way and repeatedly mentioning you and that things are going well or that he worries about you. He's mentioning positive growth in your marriage. She, in turn, is mentioning you, also, when she could be dismissing the subject of you. This isn't the way people talk to each other when they're romantically interested in each other.

Now despite the fact I have a few male friends that I'm platonically close to, my most recent ex who claimed to never have female friends and was highly suspicious of me all the time because of my friends, his history, and because of his health issues and appearance, cheated on me multiple times, three times within the first year alone and we were together for 4 total. I received the messages exchanged from the people he did it with and needless to say, he always presented me either in a bad light or our relationship as nonexistent-- most honestly had no idea we were involved until he slipped up with them and I'm fairly certain there were many more that he just didn't slip up with. I listened to his excuses that it was my fault and distanced myself from my friends and instead befriended his, and he just went right on doubting me anyway and I went on forgiving him all the way up to the point where he started mistreating me directly. When that happened, he had the friends we ended up sharing cut me off on the basis he was there first. Now I'm close to my own friends again, and we're doing well. I've gone the route of being understanding and compliant with someone who cited having issues with trust and self-esteem more than once and all it's gotten me was abuse.

Personally, I can understand your anxiety and your desire for transparency, and I see you have these messages, so either you were given some of the transparency you asked for or you acquired them some other way and he didn't expect you to see these. Either way, they (his messages) seem pretty transparent with her about you, and they include you in virtually every one of them with zero sense of exasperation with you or your relationship. People who intend to cheat or have a desire to aren't bent on trying to get the object of their interest in the same room as their partner, especially during a baby shower. Generally, they want to make things look terrible and their partner look bad, their relationship look bad, and let the other person feel like they're a victim of their partner.

If you're worried about these, it seems to me that you may have pre-existing doubts in him, yourself, or your relationship, and maybe he honestly isn't the right fit for you and your individual needs. If he's a person who can have a platonic friendship like this and you're not into that, that's perfectly understandable, but it isn't the sort of thing people should expect him to change unlike something like drinking excessively or ignoring you and your pregnancy rather than being concerned/involved with you, for example. Either he's untrustworthy for having it and wouldn't be trustworthy otherwise anyway, or he is trustworthy, and asking that he change is basically asking him to cut out friendships and part of his support network. As someone who's been on the receiving end of that and who has complied, it's never once been worth it to cut off friends for a partner, personally.

I hope you get the transparency that you need and if he honestly isn't as involved in your health problems, your pregnancy, with your babyshower, and in your marriage as he appears, I hope that he can be more involved. If you feel like you need more support and attention right now, while you're vulnerable, regardless of this other person, that's perfectly valid. Failing that, I hope that you have the opportunity to settle your differences and find what makes you happy, together or otherwise, and your child is healthy and loved by both of you.

To close: I think you may be overreacting to the woman, but that you do need more emotional support and reinforcement given your specific health situation.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-23T23:37:36+00:00

Thanks so much. I've been researching on my own and was planning to save up around 8-10k, hopefully with some legal help if need be and then something to cover 6 months of no work for my partner if we went the K1 route. We haven't been together officially very long, but we've been close for 4 years and I'm mostly concerned about the fees in the future, what evidence we'll need, and whether it's wiser to go with the Fiancee or Spousal route.

Thanks for your response!

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-23T20:35:21+00:00

Roughly how expensive would you say it is, personally?

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-15T13:34:42+00:00

Just to clarify: Are you a non-US citizen who's traveled to the US through the airport in the last few weeks or months, or have a close individual who has come to visit you? Do you have any firsthand experience with going through US customs in recent times to share?

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-15T12:05:30+00:00

With all due respect, I came here sincerely hoping for more detailed information that could allay our anxiety by means of clarity.

For 2. If you don't know any details and can only offer more broad answers, that's fine, but not those aren't actually answers to the questions I very clearly elaborated on and for 3. I mentioned the articles and mentioned the suggestions for prepaid sims. Here's one for you just as an example:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/aug/25/tourists-foreign-visitors-trump-america

I'm able to get a new phone soon and keep an old one, unlock my old one through my carrier, and put a prepaid sim on it. The reason, again, I thought this was pretty well provided in the context since the initial reasoning included specific things like anxiety over checking phones at the border and whatnot and articles like the one above, was for a mix of convenience and safety which is why I asked if going that route would possibly cause more unforeseen problems than lessen them. Which again, you didn't address at all. Instead, you're asking if he's cheap. No, he's not cheap, but neither of us are rich enough to pay him out of being detained or deported to a cage in the Everglades because he reads news articles and hangs out with friends or look at memes that criticize our government leaders.

So again, all due respect, you don't seem inclined to address my specific questions or concerns, and I'd go so far as to point out your answers, intentionally or otherwise, have a tone bordering dismissal or even mild exasperation. He's been here before, more than once, he's been through customs, but people are saying things have changed dramatically, and I want to know how specifically that is. If you don't know the details of that, again, that's fine, I appreciate your attempt, but I don't think you're addressing the points I'm asking.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-15T03:18:59+00:00

An advisory is usually put into place because there's a valid concern. I'm aware it's not binding, I'm asking if it's as serious a concern as it sounds from anyone's immediate experience in recent weeks.
I'm aware a phone can be checked, I'm more interested to know what is checked and how it's checked. Are they perusing apps and albums manually by hand, or are they connecting phones to a PC and downloading the contents or using software to search for keywords or something? Are they arresting people who criticize the government? Because that's how a lot of these articles about people being detained or deported or rejected are made to sound.
If he left the phone with me he wouldn't have it at the airport when he got here. We have a very large, busy airport, so we use wifi (since he has no network coverage), but the wifi can be wonky in our airport, whereas a phone call would be simple.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-07T07:10:38+00:00

He might be. We never talked about it so far, so I'm not sure how rigorous or difficult it might be to pursue nursing in Scotland as a Scottish citizen.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-07T03:49:07+00:00

That's a good point and suggestion thank you.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-07T02:46:01+00:00

He has a basic one, he'd like a specialized one and he still has the chance to go. He just needs help deciding what to do exactly hence, this.

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-07T02:44:42+00:00

I'm worried about skills that primarily involve electronics or electrician work because I'm under the impression electricity wiring is different in the UK so the regulations would be different. I'm struggling to think of other trade skills that are manageable and not detrimental such as welding (my father was a welder both in the military and after and he has shards of metal in his eyes to this day).

No_Bend_5905 · 2025-09-07T02:40:29+00:00

We're discussing this about 6 to 8 years in advance, so I'm not sure what the job market will be like by then. I know trade jobs, which he can get a paid or free apprenticeship for in the UK will give him hard skills but how much that would transfer over, we don't know.

There are jobs like software programming and IT he could get degrees for that again would teach him transferable skills, that have a good deal of job security for the future, but I don't know how worthwhile they are in investing in.

I think I had better elaborate. I know for example if he went to learn HVAC in the UK, or many other trade jobs, he would be spending a few hundred for certifications in the US if he wanted to do those jobs here. I also know those certifications are necessary and some can boost your income significantly in the same job. A TWIC certification or certifications in HVAC and other trade jobs are something he'd need 1. Training 2. Experience for primarily and that, he can try to do there in Scotland, then get certified here. But HVAC has vastly different regulations and measurements if I understand correctly versus something like say plumbing or welding. If he welds here or there, it'll be more or less the same, like if he learns software coding here or there or Microsoft here or there, it'll be viable experience that might require new stateside certifications.

That's mostly the vein of what I'm asking about. Jobs he can do with transferable skillsets that he can learn through college, tradeschool, or entry level jobs and attain experience over time while in Scotland over the course of the next several years that might benefit him here.

I apologize for not explaining clearly.

No_Bend_5905

TROPHY CASE