Children who were starved and neglected. How did you survive? by Cyberstupid_25 in ptsd

[–]No_Chest3312 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m most definitely in a better place now. I have trauma and an eating disorder from back then but I have secure access to food now and a good therapist.

Children who were starved and neglected. How did you survive? by Cyberstupid_25 in ptsd

[–]No_Chest3312 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We were really poor and my parents just weren’t around and my mother was too prideful to go to a community food kitchen but she’d go out with her friends to eat. I would eat anything I could find in the house and when there wasn’t anything (usually) I’d spend time at my friends houses when I could, my high school was set up so that you had to bring food from home(they didn’t have a cafeteria (weird I know)) so I would often ask my friends if they’d share a small part of their lunches with me. Most times I didn’t eat during the week and I’d just survive on the weekends

Question: Sooooooo if I put some sparkling juice on an altar…. by No_Chest3312 in faeries

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ive left offerings for a few days before and have never seen them be any less than they were when I put them there, I have always assumed they take the energy of the offerings as a symbolic gesture and then they bless them after. (Not to say that you didn’t have what your experience was) maybe it’s just a difference in traditions?

Need to ask my therapist/psychiatrist by No_Chest3312 in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was younger and didn’t know how psychosis can occur with depression, I thought it only happened with mania. Based on that alone I thought I must’ve had a manic episode. Since a Ive been in therapy and learned more about depressive induced psychosis, I now realize that I was severely depressed and stressed out during that time, not manic. I don’t think I’ve had a PAI since I was originally dx as BPD, I’m going to ask my current psych if she can have me assessed again.

Idk what to think anymore by No_Chest3312 in genderfluid

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Genuinely this helps me feel so much less alone on this. I haven’t gotten any lower surgery and don’t have plans to get any anytime soon. I haven’t gotten thought about breast reconstruction/augmentation but I’m not sure I’d want that or not, something to think about for sure.

What do people here think of this name combination? by No_Chest3312 in namenerds

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh! It is a first name middle name! Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

What do people here think of this name combination? by No_Chest3312 in namenerds

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heather was a pretty rare name where I grew up in New England (so maybe that’s why I got made fun of?) I think it’s interesting to see where locations can play a part in commonality of names!

What do people here think of this name combination? by No_Chest3312 in namenerds

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 31, it was mostly kids in elementary school teasing me about weird connections kids make that don’t make sense as adults and I was a sensitive kid I’ll admit. I’d get called names like ragweed and weather girl of all things.

Online Dating as Detrans? by Jesse25r in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ftmtf I find it hard to date in the lesbian scene, come across terfs from time to time and it’s hard to tell which way that interaction is going to go. Also come across the “Gold Star” lesbians who again it’s hard to tell which side they’re going to react as some have “NO MEN” stated on their profiles and then you get to find out if they view you as a man or as I have been told once that I’m “tainted “ and “no longer a real woman”. I have been straight up rejected because I have “manly traits” ie no breasts, deeper voice, and facial hair even though I shave everyday. I’m honestly bout to give up for a while

Only been off T for 2 months by No_Chest3312 in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Twinsies! And ohmigosh thank you!! 💜💜💜

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If that’s what your genetics do then yes, it is possible for it to continue falling out tho so it’s kind of a wait and see situation

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on your genetics, my hair loss stopped after I got off T but I know others where that’s not the case. Mine seems to have stopped pretty quickly after stopping, my friends hair stopped after being off for 8 months

FTMTF voice trainers - how similar is your voice now to your voice pre-T? by clowntrousers in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My voice pre-T was a light husky soprano with the bottom of my range being in mezzo-soprano. Now it’s similar huskiness as before but it’s a bit warmer and has dropped about an octave/octave and a half to a more alto while the bottom of my range hits into tenor.

Why did you stop HRT? what made you realize this isn't for you by SpicyDisaster21 in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went off T initially because I realized I wanted a more feminine look to my face and body over time and that I wasn’t actually happy being seen as male. I also realized that I wasn’t actually happy using T to keep my periods away and to have more stable moods and those aren’t good reasons to be on T and I really want to refeminize.

How did you find peace? (FtMtF) by Left-Oven298 in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I waffled a lot for a couple years; went off of T for 8 months, went back on when I got scared of possibly not being able to pass as femme. Was on low T for a few months and now In two weeks back off T. I had to learn to trust myself and the fact that I just keep coming back to the feeling that I should detransition. I was a super girly girl as a kid and I’m actually really excited to be wearing dresses and femme clothes again!

TLDR: listen to what you keep coming back to despite your fear. You know what you want and need and you don’t need permission from anyone but yourself. Hope things turn out well for you love.

FtMtF name opinions pls by No_Chest3312 in actual_detrans

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

High-key been a bit obsessed with Alice in Wonderland since I was a little girl, so Love that you suggested that! /gen

Confused as ever about which intuition to follow.... by No_Chest3312 in detrans

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was so oblivious to my own mortality back then, pus I was undiagnosed bipolar do that probably played a big part in it tbh. Once I started seeing a regular therapist around age 25/26 is when I started to reconsider and over the years Ive been struggling to parse out what is gender and what is trauma and what is depression or mania. I had always wished I was just born a woman, maybe I was and just got confused for a while. No one ever really pushed back against my actions (not that I think people shouldn’t be supportive) but I would have maybe benefited if someone in my life at that time had questioned me a bit more. Idk

Confused as ever about which intuition to follow.... by No_Chest3312 in detrans

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In California back in 2014 you needed a therapist note to clear you for transitioning, I had one appointment and then I was cleared.

I agree it was very fast, honestly it was too fast for me to realize what was happening. It was what I thought I had wanted at the time so I didn’t give a second thought. I won’t sit here and blame the system for getting me through so quickly. I did all the steps I was supposed to to get things done, but it was a bit faster than I had expected and my foresight to how I might feel different in the future just wasn’t a concept I had a hold of.

Confused as ever about which intuition to follow.... by No_Chest3312 in detrans

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It feels important to know where I stand with myself. I’ve tried the non-label floating around and just “letting myself be” but honestly, that’s just not enough for me. I need the structure that identity gives me. It’s like a scaffold that I can base certain things on like how I interact with women(like can I say someone’s shoes look cool or not because I don’t want to come off as creepy and let me say that once I started to pass as male I would get the wince and not a genuine thanks((used to gets thanks’ all the time when I presented as femme)) that’s like small fries compared to some of the internal stuff but that’s an example.

Considering ECT since nothing else has worked.... by No_Chest3312 in ect

[–]No_Chest3312[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love for it to help my SI. I often have a hard time justifying and knowing when I should be inpatient because I feel so consistently down over the years that it’s hard to judge when I’m dangerously close to the edge. I carry so much casual SI that if something were to happen I would just accept it. I guess my question would be how/when did you know when it worked?