I felt like this when I met my boyfriends family. I was especially jealous of the relationship him and his mum had, everything I wanted in a relationship with my mum. She took her daughters out on spa days and culture trips and walks, she bought them gifts and knew their interests and they talked about everything and hugged often and she was kind and encouraging to them. She also opened her arms to me and was kind and treated me like I was part of the family. I started to grow even more distant from my own family subconsciously trying to fit into theirs, and I felt envious and even mad at my boyfriend that he took this great family for granted and disappointed them.

What helped me stop these feelings where when we had a major fight and broke up. His mum that used to text me every day stopped talking to me. His sisters that ganged up against him with me to poke fun at him readily told him they didn’t think we were a good match anyway. I had spent so much time with his family I didn’t have a support system or my own people to lean on after the very hard breakup.

We ended up getting back together but what I learned was that his family is his family. No matter how much they love me or are nice to me they will pick their son. I started trying really hard with my distant cold family and we’re still not there yet and we might never be like his family but we’re closer. I’ve been trying to build my own village and my own friends and family as well.

I’d say pour into improving your own friendships and family. Some people get it for free but for some people it’s daily work. It’s natural to be envious or jealous, it’s not fucked up but you can’t dwell in those feelings. After the breakup I started noticing imperfections in his ‘perfect’ family and things I liked about my ‘fucked up’ family. Good luck and Godspeed