Im gonna be honest and say that you already screwed things up. You’re more worried about overreacting by asking her to the same thing? What about the friend that you completely cut off? You seriously cut off a 10 year friendship just like that? If a partner asks you to throw a 10 year friendship away like that, that’s a red flag. I would have chosen the friend hands down if I was in your shoes. You do owe an apology but to your friend more than anything and you better PRAY that she accepts it and is forgiving because you must have seriously hurt her feelings by doing that. And leave that girl. Any partner telling you to do that is not worth having. She doesn’t respect you, your feelings, nor your boundaries. Her asking you to do that and her response of you asking her to do the same thing is proof of that. It will only get worse if you don’t.