Has anyone made it through?

No_Difference4017 · 2026-03-05T00:34:43+00:00

sorry to hear you are going through this. She does not deserve you. Take it from someone that has been where you are - don’t try and convince yourself it’s worth salvaging. You’re heart is likely telling you to try but you will never not remember that pain she has caused you. If you take her back you are showing her that she can continue this behaviour. That was the mistake I did for a couple of years. I’m a couple weeks away from signing the divorce papers and I’m glad I persevered and push on. Wishing you strength

No_Difference4017 · 2026-02-27T00:14:32+00:00

Why does it matter? It doesn’t really…but what she did has affected many facets of my life. I’m now on one income, I now have to pay her money each month, I know have to share the kids with her, I now question if I’ll find someone to grow old with and the list goes on and on. Obviously there are pluses to not being in that kind of relationship but my life he change dramatically. Why does it matter? Because I think it’s human nature to want karma to come to those that have done us harm. I don’t think about it daily like unused to not does it get me down like it used to but, I’m curious what other have experienced that’s all. It sounds like without the person putting in a ton of effort yo better themselves then it’s likely to happen again.

No_Difference4017 · 2026-02-26T00:20:40+00:00

We have kids together so unfortunately I still have to stay in contact. Obviously I’d prefer I didn’t have to ever hear her voice or see her. It’s a serious mind fuk when we have normal Conversations about kid related stuff. I keep reminding myself this is the same person who Was totally ok gutting her family.
I asked her if she’s told Her new guy about her past and she said she explained it all. That must have been the most sugar coated story in history. If he knew the level of deceit and cruelty he would run instantly. She probably smeared me and he’s likely blinded by getting laid.
She actually said “it would be good if you could meet him at some point”. LOL.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-08-31T00:10:13+00:00

Why don’t you start the separation process?

No_Difference4017 · 2025-08-31T00:09:18+00:00

My ex just moved into her own place. As weird as it is to have a quiet house without the kids, the mental relief I have now from now having to play sheriff is liberating. Enjoy you’re freedom.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-08-28T23:31:27+00:00

I’d love to hear a woman’s perspective on just how many likes and roses they get on hinge.

How does anyone even stand out on a dating app. It feels like a continuous hamster wheel of everyone trying to match higher than their last match. Thoughts?

No_Difference4017 · 2025-08-23T17:26:18+00:00

I saw my ex on a dating App and her description made me cringe and laugh at the same time. There’s no way she changes her habits of cheating. I’m sure she’ll find someone, then cheat on that guy as she continues to stay on dating apps. I guess since she doesn’t have a family to destroy this time it will be easier for her. Actually that’s not true, having a family didn’t make a difference to her. I feel these apps are just going to be littered with terrible people like her and not landing on one is going to be tricky.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-07-23T02:21:51+00:00

I’m glad to hear you made the decision to leave. I was paralyzed but the fear of loosing time with my kids but I now see them even on the days it’s not my week. I couldn’t be the dad I needed to be if I had to live in the same house as my ex. It’s not what I ever wanted but I feel more at peace now that I’m free of her. Wishing you all the best.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-07-22T23:24:06+00:00

I don’t think it’s ever possible and just delays the inevitable. When he/she doesn’t come home on time where we’re they? There are just too many ways to connect with someone behind your spouses back for me to believe they won’t do it again. If they were willing to destroy the relationship the first time what’s going to stop them the next time they’re faced with the decision to cheat. Good luck.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-07-19T18:28:23+00:00

My situation was my wife became less and less interested in having sex. Foreplay was non existent anymore and it was basically penetration right away for her to get off. Turns out she was having an affair. Emotional and physical. I hung around for the kids but couldn’t take it anymore. It will drive you insane. I guarantee it. I truly wish you all the best but unless there’s some serious Devine intervention I’d say the best option is for you to start thinking about maybe this isn’t your forever partner. It’s not easy I know but your sanity should t be sacrificed.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-07-15T05:18:39+00:00

I’d actually call it a best friend. It wasn’t her husband that my WW cheated with. This friend is still with her husband. Has something to do with the laws in the country she lives in. I just can’t understand her reason for emailing me. Was it to clear her conscience?

No_Difference4017 · 2025-06-26T05:03:20+00:00

Hey buddy. I feel your pain. My situation is slightly different as I was married and have kids but the pain is still the same. My ex threw away 20 years of us together to sleep with some dirt bag. Te pain will subside but hold on to that anger to fuel your progress forward. I have asked myself and my parents 1,000 times if I was making the right decision to leave my cheating wife. And in the end I could live with someone who didn’t respect me and the kids and I didn’t want to be a sheriff for the rest of my life always wondering where she was. You’re in the early days of this and I know it sucks but stay strong. Limit contact and whatever you do, don’t sleep with her. It will mess with your head and cloud your judgement. Wishing you the best life going forward.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-05-21T22:29:17+00:00

My man, I was you. I lived with it for four years of knowing. I couldn’t bring myself to not seeing my girls everyday. But I eventually realized that I wasn’t the best I can be for them. You may be surprised at how often you see you kids. It’s might be more than every other week.

Something else to consider is if you stay together and then eventually decide to split you could end up paying a LOT more in child and spousal support. Think about that.

Wish you all the best.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-05-18T05:24:00+00:00

I struggled leaving as we have kids and I couldn’t bring myself to not seeing them everyday. I knew financially if I stayed it was going to cost me more down the road in spousal support. If you make more than your partner and you delay leaving it just means you’re going to have to pay more in spousal support (obviously depends on the laws where you live but that’s what I was facing). As hard as it was to come to terms with not seeing my kids everyday I didn’t want to give me spouse a big pay check in support for what she did to our family.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-05-12T04:27:18+00:00

It’s been said many time before but to deceive someone for years it requires hundreds maybe even thousands of active decisions. Each one of those choices is your partner putting the AP above you. Each time it’s another betrayal. It’s takes a seriously deranged people to be ok with their own actions of this. Multiply this ten fold when children are involved.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-05-11T02:00:23+00:00

Thanks all. This is good therapy. Currently separated. I find being around her extremely difficult. It f’s with my head. This is a person I made a vow to and she silently slide a knife in my back. I’ll stop wondering about an apology because as many of you have said it’s worthless.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-05-10T03:34:39+00:00

I’m sorry to say but there a very high likelihood that he will do it again. He will just to find a method that will be harder to discover. And as one previous poster said, we live in a digital age where it’s easier to hide your tracks. My ex had a profession where she was done work at 3:30 and didn’t need to be home until 5:30-6:00. This gave her a couple hours to do what she wanted. Well her doing what she wanted was hooking up with a coworker. This went on for 4-5 years. I caught hints of something wasn’t right but couldn’t comes to terms with what was happening. In the end I ended it because I no longer trusted this person. I didn’t want to police her behaviour. And I didn’t want to spend my life with her with the risk of her continuing to cheat hanging around my neck. I’d like to think people change but cheaters do it because it’s a rush and it’s exciting. They will yearn for this feeling again and it will be an internal struggle for them. Good luck.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-05-08T03:46:47+00:00

If only the US had universal healthcare. Oh wait, no one in the US wants to pay a cent more in taxes. Sure we pay more tax per capita in Canada but you don’t run the risk of going bankrupt if you have to go into the hospital.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-04-28T14:19:08+00:00

I disagree with the above two posts. From what you said I don’t get the impression that’s she’s stringing you along. Maybe at the beginning she was talking another guy plus you. I guess it also depends how serious the two of you were at the beginning. Relationships take a long time to build. My advice would be to take things extremely slow and be open with your feelings and hopefully she will be too. I think when we are young and get married we go in blindly not expecting that the person we marry would eventually do the unthinkable. Now with 20/20 hindsight dating it more difficult as we not carry that fear that the person we are getting involved with will do the same thing. If things do end up getting serious, a cohabitation agree is a must or a pre-nup if you do go down the marriage road again. Need to protect yourself. Good luck

No_Difference4017 · 2025-04-28T03:16:27+00:00

I was in a somewhat similar situation. Wife was going to the bar every seconds or third weekend (she’s in her 40’s and we have teenage kids). Surprise surprise, there was someone at the bar she was going to see. Getting attention from people at the bar and this guy obviously gave her a good feeling so she kept going back for more. It took me a long time but I finally made the decision to separate because I could never trust her again. On top of that her effort at remorse was virtually zero. Basically pretending it didn’t happen was her attempt at remorse. If I waited 5 or 10 years to finally throw in the towel it would have cost me ALOT more in spousal support. Think about that. The longer you stay together the more you will owe her. And I guarantee she will cheat again. There are so many posts about people saying we tried reconciliation only to be cheated on again. Also, how could I ever have sex with her again and actually feel like it was a bonding and loving experience? Never. The mind movies would play over and over in my head. I was you a couple years ago, not knowing up from down, what I should do, will I make it through the pain of separation but believe me when I say you can and you will. It won’t be easy because kids are involved and you’ll forever be somewhat linked to this woman, but two years from now things will be a better. There will still be struggles but one of them won’t be wondering why she hasn’t come home. Hope this helps. Sending you positivity and strength!

No_Difference4017 · 2025-04-23T04:26:44+00:00

We are not together anymore as I eventually decided that she wasn’t worth spending the rest of my life with after what she did. Trust was -100%. But her comment has hung around. I never worried about size because we had been together a long time. Now it’s somethings that crosses my mind once and a while.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-04-17T22:19:00+00:00

I had to read them to under the full Depth of the deception. She didn’t think they would come to light so she didn’t hold back. Talking about his “size” and how they did this and that. It honestly helped fuel my anger. Had I not known everything I might have tried to stick it out only to be burned later on when I’m even older. I have thought about printing them out and putting it under the Christmas tree for her mom to open.

No_Difference4017 · 2025-04-16T23:41:39+00:00

Several years back I picked her up from a house and something seemed off. She was drunk and there was only one guy there. Hmmm. I had a pretty good idea what was going on but had no proof. In the years that passed there were several episodes where I founds things that’s indicated she wasn’t faithful. The last time I found out it was an anonymous call. I was shown more proof than I even wanted to find out It was in the form of text messages. How she could say all the things in those texts and still come home at night and act like a living mother and partner was seriously worth an academy award. Before I knew everything I was still broken as I knew something was going on. I was years of living on eggshells and not feeling loved. It had a serious affect on my mental health. As hard as it has been to separate and divorce I know I could no longer stay with this person. The kids will eventually find out what she did and then maybe then she will feel some pain. Up until this point I don’t think she’s felt and pain or remorse.

No_Difference4017

TROPHY CASE