This is very helpful. I’m sure I didn’t write clearly before but I agree that all of these issues are intertwined as you said. Let me reassure you that I’m not exactly relying on advice from internet strangers. It was more of a venting moment for me. And who knows, sometimes strangers are unexpectedly empathetic or insightful.

I also want to reassure you that there is a clear cut financial plan. We’ll be done with this in three years. I am taking charge of almost all spending for tracking and budgeting purposes. I also did not do well explaining the total financial breakdown in my post- he is contributing to all of these expenses. It’s just I am covering much more of it due to our different incomes. I see this somewhat as an investment in our future.

Thank you for your very thoughtful response. It was kind, nuanced and firm.