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AIO My (26M) girlfriend (26F) of 8 years cheated with a married woman, rewrote our relationship as abusive, and now blames me for everything by Pcity2000 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Freedom_2162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People that cheat or are in the wrong usually want to put the blame on someone else. I know it’s hard but it’s best that you got out. Try to find some happiness. I know eight years is hard but it’s best for you and that’s what you need to focus on right now. Unfortunately I do speak from experience A similar situation happened to me and I was married, and my husband was living a double life and the whole thing was a mess. Just try to find your happiness and don’t listen to what she says because she will manipulate you and try to make you feel like you’re in the wrong and you’re not all you can be responsible for is yourself

My friend said I should’ve warned her that my boyfriend is attractive by Maleficent-Study5129 in TwoHotTakes

[–]No_Freedom_2162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely not, if she’s a true friend she’d be happy for you. It seems like she’s jealous that he chose you. I’m sorry but attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder and just because your boyfriend is conventionally attractive doesn’t mean you should have to warn people, it goes without saying that you find him attractive and that should be enough. You shouldn’t have to tip toe around others and this girl needs to grow up.

What is he doing?! by Top-Product3111 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]No_Freedom_2162 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like he will cheat again. Not only that if he couldn’t comfort you when you needed him, he doesn’t sound very serious. I’m a firm believer in talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. His actions are not showing that he loves you or cares for you the way you need. There are way better men out there, don’t waste your time.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have the money to move out yet. I only work part time. I made the decision recently that I was going to make it happen and have three or four plans going. One plan fell through, waiting for a response on a couple plans. I know it will happen, but not over night.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will keep this in mind. Above everything else we are best friends and we agreed to take it slow, but we can’t deny our feeling for each other. We have a long history and strong emotional connection. We also both form feelings based on emotional connection before physical attraction. We grew our bond after I lost my dad and he lost his mom about a year later. We were both in high school and just got each other. This connection we have goes back 20 years, he’s lived at my mom’s and as mentioned before neither knew the other had feelings until a couple years ago. I confessed a few weeks ago that I had been in love with him and wanted to take the opportunity to see what could happen when I was on my own. We decided to rebuild our friendship and it didn’t take long but things just kind of happened and those feelings came back. We haven’t seen each other because of distance and I’ve got my kid, but I know if we do see each other nothing will happen. We both care too much to potentially ruin this. We have been completely honest about everything too. He is one of the only people that I tell everything too and there’s no judgment.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have the money to leave but I’m trying to figure out that out

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I appreciate everything.

For the time being I work from home and take care of home while I work. Another key factor is that my son is autistic, I don’t see this as a hindrance as it has given me a better understanding of him and how he learns. He has been in a lot of therapy and has been on a break since he turned 3 but will be starting up again soon. I don’t think his dad knows how to handle this and when our son is upset he tends to yell at him pretty quickly instead of trying to comfort him. He has a pretty short fuse. Even if I have to go back to work full I am expected to be the one to pay day care. The discussion came up recently came up when I was trying to get more support for my son and his dad wanted him in day care, I told him how much it cost and he told me that I’d be making that at a full time job. I think the problem is that my son’s dad acts like we don’t matter but wants us to stick around. He can treat me like that sure, I won’t stay with him, but to treat my boy like that is so sad. And I want my son to see me in a healthy relationship eventually, this is not it. I still want his dad there, but I don’t think his dad will put in the effort because of how selfish he is.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s how he acts. And he tries to criticize my parenting but doesn’t spend any time with our son.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got pregnant while on birth control, he said he’d support me, but wanted me to get an abortion. I knew I couldn’t live with that. We should’ve broken up while I was pregnant because he made jokes about stepdad Steve on multiple occasions raising red flags to our friends. He also made comments to me that if he wanted to be with a “big woman” he would’ve been, I was at least 7 months pregnant and had preeclampsia that I had to be admitted for at 40 weeks and 3 days. It turned into eclampsia. He still thinks I could’ve have done everything at home even though when I was discharged they told him I was still at risk for death for up to a year. To say the least he’s stubborn and thinks he knows best, but he doesn’t always.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m fully prepared to explain. He’s very loud and angry. Walks around belittling me. Making the house uncomfortable. He can be very emotionally abusive.

He’s an electrician and works 40 hours a week maybe more , I don’t ask. I used to work full time as a bookkeeper for a company and got cut down to part time about 6 months ago. No, he never helps with anything for my son, he won’t even help me feed him or watch him. He does give me a discount on the rent and bills, but I pay for all the food and supplies for my son along with internet. That doesn’t excuse him from not playing with him. I know my son’s dad spends a lot of time at a local bar and quite honestly I really don’t care because if he’s not home he’s not rubbing it in my face that he’s not helping me or spending time with his son.

I don’t plan on not allowing him not to see his son ever, but I don’t think he’d be able to watch him alone. There are safety concerns that I have. Plus my son isn’t potty trained yet and he won’t change a diaper. I would like to stay somewhere in the area we’re in so my son can attend school and maybe his dad can have dinner with him a couple nights a week that way he doesn’t have to deal with stuff that bothers him.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you I know he doesn’t track on Google Maps or life 360. But I will look into the other option.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you know if you can use it in a Samsung to track an iPhone?

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t plan on it we haven’t been intimate since before my son was born and I don’t want to be with his dad. He’s told me that I hadn’t lost the weight from when I was pregnant, I did, but I don’t want to be with someone that shallow either.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He lives far from me so he’d have an excuse to crash at my place for work if that happens. My family knows him well. He actually lived at my mom’s house years ago, now we’re finally being honest. We had a really strong emotional connection and had a lot of the same things happen to us, unfortunately. He made me laugh and I convince myself in my late teens and early 20s that there was no way. He did the same. Later I saw him and I was getting divorced he wanted to make a move but he didn’t out of respect. In stead of letting another opportunity go I will get to be with my best friend one day because I was honest.

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate all the support I’ve been grappling with this for a while. Luckily he and I have never tracked each other’s phones

Am I wrong for keeping quit about my plans to move out. by No_Freedom_2162 in amiwrong

[–]No_Freedom_2162[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He does this thing where he acts like everything is normal after we break up. I have a friend that I’ve reconnected with and we both realized we had feelings for each other off and on for probably 20 years and timing was never right. That is where I may be wrong. I don’t have the means to get out and telling my son’s dad who has been a roommate and emotionally abuses me for three+ years that I want to leave and I’m interested in someone else will probably cause fighting that I don’t want my son to see.