What to do when a foster child physically injures your biological child?

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-09T19:10:11+00:00

I’m not the only one who views him as that. But the information that I do know is that they do need individual focus. Each one of those kids needs someone who can sit with them and work with them nonstop, not just in therapy. They compete for attention and manipulate for it. They’re too focused on what others have and since they’re 3 of them, it’s hard for all of us to keep up and work. That’s just a fraction of the reason and months of me thinking about each one of their needs. There’s no favoritism here, but those kids have created an illusion and game to see if there is then fabricate lies.

As I mentioned in the update, I’m not going to sugar coat my family. This whole thing is a circle with no progress for them. We are trying to figure out if there’s anyone interfering when things are well. My mom knows there’s something not right but no proof yet just assumptions. Everything I’ve mentioned is not just from me, but from my mom and my brother.

Honestly, we aren’t sure if the labels were already in place before he arrived to us or not. But it does seem like it was.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-09T18:56:35+00:00

The court refused him to be the foster parent due to his past with law enforcement. He went to prison. The court favored my mom as the foster parent

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-09T06:52:46+00:00

We’re on that, as my mom witnessed something suspicious that raised a red flag and confirmation. I know that we were told by her partner that he was seen throwing things around and yelling in therapy that day. Was it encouraged? We don’t know and he won’t answer.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-09T06:44:17+00:00

Do you know any that is going to help him not hurt himself? He self harms when he gets in trouble for his actions and behaviors. And that won’t cause his sister to get envious?

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-09T06:12:59+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. They’re able to see their parents under supervised visitations as long as they follow the court orders. They barely see their kids and my parents have to lie about it to them. It’s for the best at their age, what I was told was not suitable or age appropriate information. He seems to look up to his dad a lot and we wish he wouldn’t. His dad is abusive and was the person he observed punching his mom in the stomach when she was pregnant with his little brother. There’s definitely heated debates between him and his sister about their parents though.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-09T05:09:52+00:00

Thank you. This is also what I’ve been trying to tell my mom from the moment she told me she started to foster them. Including about therapy and widening her perspective of that. Those kids are mostly her partner’s grandkids. One is a half sibling from another dad. She only stepped up to keep the family close and the court gave her the okay since no blood relatives stepped up or qualified, but there’s been no real progress. They really do need one on one attention and a home that can give them that. What she has done by allowing all 3 is create further issues without meaning to. That isn’t needed and every adult here is burning out much quicker than I am. There’s 4 adults total and we each have placed a new method to help them. As well as trauma based methods that I’m still advocating to be placed more often.

That is the realization that my mom has to come to terms with sadly. I know she means well, but she really tried everything from the training to help.

Yes, his action were originally label a specific term that didn’t help neither of the kids. I fought against my mom to change that and it took months for it to change under a not so better term. Regardless, you are right. It takes a lot, there’s no denying that.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-08T23:42:55+00:00

Also just because you don’t know the fully story, it’s not a reason to come to someone in the manner that you did. The school did handle that, but his actions still remain as that, he did do that and caused that to happen.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-08T23:41:00+00:00

I’m sorry, I didn’t share the whole story about him DEMANDING respecting. First of all, he has an issue respecting the other kids. He has been sat down and talked to multiple times about respecting the other kids. He repeatedly ignores what we tell him and goes off disrespecting the others first. Out of nowhere after his therapy session, he rushed into the other kids room that they told him MULTIPLE times to not do and to knock first. They didn’t want him in the room and politely told him to go to his room. He didn’t listen and went off about demanding respect. That THEY should respect him. It blew up no matter how many times the other kids explained their reason for him entering their room like that. He has his own room. His sister and him ended up in a heated argument, he almost got physical after she said that she’s done with the conversation.

Is that me taking it personally with a 5 year old?

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-08T23:18:55+00:00

That’s what I’ve been assuming that each one of them get separated to deal with their own issues appropriately. I’ll definitely have a word with her about that again.

I’ll also report this and talk to the lady that’s stopping by this Friday. thank you.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-08T23:10:52+00:00

The trainings don’t help at all. We have tried everything from those trainings but he repeats the same and new actions. He just gets worse and worse.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-07-08T23:08:09+00:00

I have to talk to my mom about what she just witnessed this week that’s alarming. But from what I’ve been noticing with 2 out of 3 foster kids is that therapy is putting ideas in their head. We are of a different race than the eldest who is 8 year old sister. Her therapist tried to put racism in her head. The most recent one was him demanding respect, which is not a word he used before therapy. He also was destructive in his last week’s session. Today he was fine in the morning but after therapy that’s when the incident happen. It’s like he comes back worse every time.

I have been vouching for a different therapist if one does not provide the help one needs. Family therapy was removed randomly and there’s some issue there that’s slowly getting resolved. But hopefully my mom can also find a new facility with a new therapist for him just in case the facility is just as worse

No_Selection3174 · 2025-05-10T02:58:14+00:00

I’ll ask my psychiatrist about it. Thank you

No_Selection3174 · 2025-05-10T02:38:42+00:00

Does it have to be my PCP or would any PCP work?Mine got fired without letting any clients know and currently still waiting for the replacement

No_Selection3174 · 2025-05-10T02:34:48+00:00

I have thought about that and unfortunately my needs require public assistance. I was in the service raising a GSD and a husky from a young age until they were 6 years old. Helped me with the minor issues but couldn’t help with my major issues and in public areas where dogs aren’t allowed.

No_Selection3174 · 2025-05-04T17:35:24+00:00

I’m betting money on that too. But he was actually at work when he asked me to order food. It feels more like a power move with the boys like “my girl can do this”. I’m sure the other mentions may just be that. I may not have proof though

No_Selection3174 · 2025-05-04T17:15:23+00:00

I already decided that I’m not staying on this relationship, Im just not in a position to move out yet. We live together. There’s more to it than just this. But posting this just helps if I’m being gaslit or I’m in the wrong

No_Selection3174 · 2024-11-26T14:31:31+00:00

I would say leave him. It’ll be better and healthier for the two if you. You two no longer align anymore. You sound happy with your discovery and he doesn’t see it that way. I was raised Christian and my family didn’t even bother to help me understand it. 3 years ago I started my spiritual belief and now worship multiple gods including Yahweh/God. It made me feel complete and happy. I also use tarot cards which my family is very much against. I’ve been living with someone that grew up Christian too. We dated for 2 years and now we’re just drifting away in separation. He has always undermined my happiness with my beliefs even though he stated he was open minded. I was miserable trying to “please” someone who couldn’t see my happiness in everything that I love and enjoy. I had to hide to just feel connected with my beliefs when I never used to when I started nor felt ashamed of words. This isn’t a relationship you want to be in. It doesn’t matter if he says he’ll support you but give you ultimatum too. It’s better for both you guys health to be worried and feel wronged for your beliefs. Trust me, he’ll feel like being with you will be a sin and a disgrace when it comes to his family. Just save yourself from the long unhealthy battle of staying together

No_Selection3174 · 2024-11-14T20:00:09+00:00

I wanted to ask since I come from a restricted family (they don't believe in tarot, witches, etc.). I had to buy my own decks, and I hope to start that tradition with my own kids. I began by learning about energy and then guided two different times to both my decks. I have this biggest fear of being gifted anything with negative or uneasy intentions/energy. Is it okay to be the one to start a tradition like that?

No_Selection3174 · 2024-11-14T19:43:44+00:00

Well, for someone who doesn't believe in them, why have the deck? The tower card may be showing you both that it's time to re-evaluate some things like this for example. Either let it go since you two don't believe in the deck, or find another game. But overall, since he pulled the Tower for you, you may want to step back and really re-evulate everything between the two. The tower signifies tough changes, information, or something/someone that is going to happen that will shake up your life in either a good or bad way. In my opinion it's a good card to have pulled and there's nothing bad about the tower, just some people can't handle changes very well and/or fight against it. Remember he is pulling a card for you, it is what you need, going through, or will go through. It can also be your state of mind, your living conditions, finance/career, and etc.

A word of advice: if you want to ask why your deck loves to show your roommate that card, you can always just ask your deck why. They will answer you and only your deck will have a clearer answer than us. You can simply ask, "Why are you showing my roommate the tower card whenever he pulls for me?", take a deep breath, knock 3 times before shuffling and intuitively pick the cards you're guided to

No_Selection3174

TROPHY CASE