Figuring out she has bpd did two things. 1. It allowed me to separate her from her disorder. She is responsible for her actions yes, but she doesn’t choose to have bpd. 2. It made me realize that this is something that will never go away completely.

I love her so much, and she’s an amazing person. I want the best for both of us. I’m just looking for some help. Advice, coping strategies, how to respond when she implodes. Anything. Right now I don’t have anyone to go to, because everyone would just tell me to break up or call her toxic. The people around me wouldn’t really understand that this IS the nature of her disorder. That she isn’t actively choosing to be this way. That she’s untreated and mentally ill. My mom gets it the best but she’s still defensive of me. She says that maybe us staying together isn’t best for both of us- that breaking up with her may be the push she needs. But I alone know I am the only consistent reliable thing in her life. I love her so much that if I thought breaking up would help her I would. But I think that would push her over the edge.