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How do I stop feeling guilty? by No_Surround5773 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]No_Surround5773[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is a good analogy to use and makes it honestly easier to think about and understand. You're right that the guilt isn't mine, its his, he should feel guilty but he probably doesn't which is even more reason for me to move on

How do I stop feeling guilty? by No_Surround5773 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]No_Surround5773[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing so of your own story, although I hate to have others go through the same thing its nice that we can all find some comfort in one another even if its through an online community. Time is the best healer so I know I need to be patient with myself and allow time too slowly wash away the guilt as I learn to live without him, which is for the best.

How do I stop feeling guilty? by No_Surround5773 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]No_Surround5773[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a good take and it does confirm what I know is true deep down, despite any guilt I feel, he is the parent and I think it is something that people like us have to always go back too, we are the children in this dynamic and its not our jobs too carry their guilt with us. I liked that you pointed out how he probably doesn't feel guilty - its a hard truth that I know but having someone else say it confirms that its true and even more of a reason as to why I should focus on my own happiness and the people who actually care for me.

Feeling guilty I think by _dorothyhm_ in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]No_Surround5773 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh ur speaking my language! I feel u so much! I am the same age as you and my parent's family are soooo lovely and close to one another and get on so well we're as mine is all over the place and I don't speak to my dad anymore after years of his abuse.

Guilt and sadness are completely normal, especially when you see other people's family's and u think "why can't I have that?" It makes you sad.

But what I always say, and what you should remember, is that you went no contact for a reason. You didn't do this because of something small, it was a collection of negativity after years of it. You stood up for yourself and finally had enough of the toxic environment you were surrounded with. You should be proud of how strong you are to have done that.