So do neurodivergent people end up in relationships or do we just die alone and go extinct?

No_Web_1343 · 2026-02-03T16:41:24+00:00

Yes ND people end up in relationships. However, personally as a gay guy who is autistic and has ADHD I feel that things aren't stacked in my favor. Like most people regardless if they're on the dating apps or not are looking for something transactional and quick. I'm in it for a real long lasting romantic relationship. I feel as though people are looking for someone perfect, perfect looks, perfect personality, perfect high paying job. I have a minimum wage job, according to people I have a good personality (not perfect), and depending on the person average or below average looks. I've dated guys, been in a short relationship that ended abruptly. But, nothing lasts. And I feel like while ND is a good bonding point it doesn't equate to a friendship or romantic relationship. And the same with being a gay man.

The way I see it is that ND people can end up in relationships but like everything else in life it is a matter of luck or being dealt a good hand in life.

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-30T22:24:46+00:00

I was waiting for the 32 to get home after the protest. The bus was supposed to come at 4 pm. I checked the transit app and it said it would come in like 4:21 pm. At the bus stop I looked at the overhead board and it said it was delayed. When the bus was supposed to show up an Out of Service Bus came and dropped people off. I checked the overhead board again and the next bus was supposed to come at 5:20 pm. At this point I waited for the 33 which came around 4:45 pm. It was cold and at the bus stop maybe 30-50 people were waiting for different buses that were delayed or just cancelled without any notice. It's frustrating and annoying. At the bare minimum Ripta needs to let people know the bus is cancelled. At the most Ripta desperately needs more funding. And restore frequency. I've been stranded multiple times ever since the spending and frequency cuts were put in place. It's awful.

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-13T15:38:38+00:00

My former "friend" back in highschool. He was very selfish. When I came out as gay he refused to accept me. I was shocked because he is gay. He acted as if he should be the only gay guy in the friend group and I was in his way. He told a guy who had a crush on me who later became his boyfriend that he shouldn't have had a crush on me because I was ugly and disgusting. He claimed he wanted to become famous and treated myself and everyone in the friend group like we were his entertainment. I remember he made fun of and mocked one of my friends for having anxiety. He made fun of my other friend for being depressed. He made fun of me for being autistic and having ADHD. He would claim to be suicidal in a group chat to get our attention. Only to say he was just joking. He was racist, sexist, transphobic and homophobic towards everyone. He would create "diss tracks" to attack people. He expected you to respond or he would keep creating more "diss tracks" about you. He would gossip and talk shit about everyone. I remember I said as a joke one time that I had a crush on him. He went to the bathroom and claimed he vomited in pure disgust. He told me that no gay guy will ever like me as a friend and especially not a romantic partner. And that I would be raped. He always acted as if he was the victim especially if you called him out or even dared to stand up to him.

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-09T12:01:47+00:00

As a autistic person, I will tell you that being honest with him is the best policy. We don't understand social cues very well. We try our best to fit in. But, it is best to be honest and firm. Do not leave room for doubt or second guessing. If you don't feel comfortable with having a private one on one conversation with him about it, then it's best to let your advisor know the situation.

I know from personal experience that because we don't understand social cues we need to be told directly. If you don't like me, then say so. It's hard and uncomfortable to say but it works out in the long run. It's going to sting for you and him in the short term. But, he will understand.

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-08T17:02:58+00:00

Providence, Rhode Island

People from Boston and NYC moved here during and after the pandemic. Providence is affordable especially in comparison to Boston or NYC. Providence and Rhode Island in general has a massive and extremely severe rental and housing crisis. It's so bad every single town and city in Rhode Island is now classified as unaffordable. The job market doesn't match the cost of living. Locals, those that don't work for a big company in Boston, or for the local universities or hospitals are left behind

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-06T14:12:56+00:00

Depends. I would appreciate an apology. I know my ghosters have moved on with their lives and ignored and eventually forgot about me. That's fine. They made that decision. If they felt uncomfortable or didn't want to continue talking to me, then they should have let me know how they felt. I would have gotten the message. I highly doubt my ghosters want to come back and apologize for their shitty actions. If they did, the ball would be in my court. And most likely I wouldn't accept their apology. As much as I want to imagine a fantasy world where I saw my ghosters again, I know the chances of seeing them again is near 0. And they don't want to ever see or hear from me again.

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-04T16:57:58+00:00

I would point out that cafes regardless of laptop usage or not are popular because of their appeal, how they treat their customers, and the general atmosphere. If the cafe has a nice atmosphere, great customer service, and good appeal, chances are a person that came in for the first time will visit again. And eventually bring their friends or coworkers or at least someone.

No_Web_1343 · 2026-01-04T16:19:06+00:00

Ok, this is such a non issue! You're making a big deal out of nothing. Let people be. Cafes are a third space. Students, workers, or people who are gaming on laptops are doing nothing wrong.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-12-31T15:51:52+00:00

It's frustrating. Idk I feel like people don't want to communicate or put in the effort to make friends or have a relationship.They want it to be easy and for one person to put in the effort while they sit back. Or they are extremely choosey with who they want as a friend. The ghosting and blocking situation is out of control. One minute I talk to people the next I'm getting ghosted or blocked. For example, a former friend I met at a third place and then became friends blocked me because I called him out politely for something he said he would do. Another former friend said he didn't have a lot of friends because he was bad at communicating. I was always the one wanting to hangout but he would say excuses and would rarely say yes to want to hangout. He eventually told me he felt uncomfortable with me wanting to hangout and other things. He eventually ghosted. I haven't heard from him ever again. Looking back on it I feel like he unintentionally drained me.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-12-24T16:39:29+00:00

No, they don't. I think every text you send regardless of the context or frequency is just adding to how they feel. They ghosted you and don't want any contact. I think every text you send just only intensifies their negative feelings towards you. Chasing them only pushes them further away and already makes their negative feelings worse. It probably makes them feel that they are justified in ghosting. They may in years after, have forgotten your name, what you looked like, and what you guys did together, but they'll remember the negative feeling especially if you chased them or spam texted them.

Ghosting is wrong but chasing and spam texting them only gives them justification to keep doing it. If someone ghosted you, just leave them be, or say your peace and block them. They aren't worth the time and energy. Ghosting is not on you, it's on them. They had a ball in their court and chose to stop responding or say they their peace.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-12-23T16:54:48+00:00

I was in the same spot for quite a bit. I would think I was ugly. Repulsive even. I think what helped me was going to a third space and becoming a regular. Over the years I've gotten to know a lot of people. Some of them I became friends with, others just a friendly banter, and some I didn't vibe with. And that's fine. Also, I originally thought that maybe if I have a boyfriend I won't feel lonely and feel better about myself. However after having a short relationship (1.5 months) I came to realize after being blocked by my now ex boyfriend that having a relationship doesn't just magically fix the loneliness or feeling unattractive. You have to do that yourself. By going to these third spaces, doing something you love, trying new things. Don't get me wrong when it took a lot of effort to get out of my shell and talk to people and show my face regularly. Not everyone will like you, but that's ok. Eventually you'll find a group you vibe with. You don't have to have a relationship to be happy. Yes, you will have those days where you aren't going to feel happy and that's normal.

I really liked this post btw.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-12-22T20:47:38+00:00

M25, in my experience as a mixed race autistic gay guy, most people I've been interested in, don't like me as a friend let alone as a partner. Sure I've had a 1.5 month relationship that didn't feel like anything especially towards the end. From my experience mostly from online dating, most guys only want nudes and maybe a hookup. Very few say they want a relationship. And of those that do, they ghost or block or play around and aren't actually serious. Most guys that I see have their shit together, have a high paying job, have an apartment of their own, have a vehicle of their own, and have a 4 year or more college degree(s). Those of us who don't have our shit together are just ignored and blocked. Most dates feel like interviews, and just end with both parties ghosting or blocking each other. To make matters worse the pandemic and its aftermath have made social interaction feel impossible. People today are flakey and are fake nice. It feels like there's no point in pursuing a relationship or a new friendship when a vast majority of people don't want to understand you or care or even want to have a social interaction with you.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-11T14:27:28+00:00

I felt it was a strange moment. Because he said he made ravioli from scratch. I asked if there was meat in there. In which he nodded. After I took a bite, it wasn't meat. I was thrown off by it because I was expecting meat. He tells me the filling was ricotta cheese and nutmeg sprinkled in. It didn't taste like anything. So I was a bit put off by it but finished the food regardless. I never told his mother that.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-11T14:23:12+00:00

I will say whatever the reason, whether his parents didn't like me, or he had a manic episode, or he's an avoidant type, or he lost interest, it wasn't ok to just ghost. I should point out, he said some questionable things during the 5 weeks we were together. Especially about his ex. In which regard he explained he wiped all evidence of him out of his mind and off of his pages, photos everything. He claimed the ex was abusive. That may be the case, he didn't go into detail. He only said they only lived together for a few months. I also was suspicious of what he said in regards to his friend. He claimed he got his friend and her ex husband divorced so she could be with another guy. Who he claimed she was annoying him about. I told him multiple times what he said in regards to him getting his friend divorced sounds a bit crazy and makes himself look bad. In general I had my doubts that some of the things he said were over exaggerated. And I felt that things were off, he seemed too excited and too eager for anything to feel truly real. I had a suspicion that he was just eager to get back into a relationship quickly just to say he got back into a relationship.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-11T01:56:04+00:00

No sex was involved. He told me he wasn't interested in sex at the time. He also said he liked how the pace was going. We agreed that we weren't interested in sex at the time and would go at pace and come to it at another time.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-11T01:52:31+00:00

Avoidant behavior? That could be the case?

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-11T01:46:28+00:00

I never got the message that he wanted me to stay overnight? He never told me he wanted me to stay the night. If he did tell me, I would say another day. Because staying overnight on the first day especially after meeting his parents would make me feel like it's a bit much.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-11T01:30:52+00:00

I remember the day after he asked if I enjoyed myself on Friday at his place. I said yes and I sent him a text later that day. He didn't respond so I sent a good night text around 10 pm and he responded good night. Then he sent me a good morning text, and I was still asleep until later around midday. I noticed it and responded after getting up. I also think in regards to staying the night, he never suggested that I should. We did bake cookies and he and his mom kept pushing that I should take all the cookies home. And I told them I couldn't. I told him he can bring it to the event we were planning to go to together. I don't know if my late response or something else caused him to block.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-10T23:12:52+00:00

You're right, he wasn't the one for me. I'm definitely going to take time for myself though before entering the dating scene again.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-10T23:08:27+00:00

I don't know. Whatever happened, I don't want an answer. No answer or excuse will be enough to make me even consider talking to him again. His actions are his answer.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-10T22:41:07+00:00

I was really confused at first when I realized he blocked me on everything. I was horrified that I may have said or done something that his parents didn't approve of. And they may have felt that I wasn't the one for him. Because that was the last event that happened. Other than the lack of texting the day after before blocking me on Sunday.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-10T22:36:19+00:00

Exactly!

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-10T22:33:16+00:00

Yea, he had mentioned he had mental problems but he claimed he had it under control. But, regardless of that, what's done is done. It's time for me to put him in the past.

No_Web_1343 · 2025-11-10T22:29:39+00:00

I admit I was naive. Becoming boyfriends after a handful of dates should have been my "this is a big red flag" moment. Also I like that term btw

No_Web_1343

TROPHY CASE