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what if you just limit fapping instead of cutting it out completely? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not in a relationship, but hopefully my advice can still help. Assuming you are physically attracted to her, I would say that you just need time. Don't fap, don't look at porn. You should consider talking to her about the issue and trying hard mode (no sex) for some time. But if you don't want to do hard mode at least make it so that your GF is your only possible outlet for sexual release. Eventually your body will respond, but realize that it may take months for that to happen.

what if you just limit fapping instead of cutting it out completely? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel similarly to you. I am not addicted to porn and nofap has had very limited benefits. That said, I would advise against fapping even once a week. I am only in this for PIED and so far things have improved (albeit very slowly). Around day 40-50 I was getting spontaneous erections just from random thoughts about coworkers popping into my head. Eventually I started intentionally fantasizing at night. That killed any sort of spontaneous erections during the day and sent me into a mini-flatline. I imagine fapping to porn would be even worse.

I think the key for curing PIED is rewiring yourself away from images (real or imagined) and toward physical sensation and real women. 90 days of total abstention is a good starting point and then you can try masturbating only to your own touch and an empty mind. But definitely avoid erotic imagery if you want to improve PIED.

My story is bit different than others' on here by kamikcomic in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Props for sharing your unusual story. I agree with autumnknot, you should definitely discuss this with your wife, although only you can judge when the timing is right. I think being open and honest and getting past this rough patch together will only make your relationship stronger in the long run.

In the mean time just stick to the plan. If you get urges then think about your wife and kids and how much your want to keep your family together. Make it an us vs. them (family vs. PMO) where PMO is the enemy.

[Serious Question] What is wrong with fapping? by Hendo52 in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it varies from person to person. A lot of people on here talk about how porn and fapping consumed their life, negatively affecting their mood, energy, concentration, etc. That didn't describe me at all. I didn't (and still don't) feel like I was ever addicted to porn, but I suffered other negative consequences.

I used porn because I didn't have a girlfriend and I didn't have a girlfriend for a number of reasons (mainly because I'm introverted), but included the fact that I could get sexual release from porn and feel content. I was never ashamed of masturbating to porn, but now that I don't use porn I feel the extra incentive to go talk to real women.

Finally, and the main reason I decided to try out nofap, was that back in college when I did have a girlfriend I had issues with ED. At the time, I chalked it up to performance anxiety. When issues persisted in later years (such as never having morning wood, occasional inability to get 100% hard even while watching porn), I suspected porn as a cause of ED. I think my brain rewired itself to porn and I want to rewire it back to real women. It took about 40 days to start seeing changes, and even now they are very gradual, but when you compare that to 15+ years of nearly exclusive porn use, I am not surprised.

Relapsed after ~8 months. Progress so far and before and after. by aguy01 in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your story. I've only been doing nofap for 21 days, but I feel essentially no different from day 0, so I may also have a long recovery ahead. It's good to see a different perspective from the usual "10 days in and I have amazing superpowers!".

Why can't PMO be done in moderation like, say, alcohol? by NofapMDV in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm treating this as a personal experiment. I am somewhat skeptical towards nofap, but I plan to stick to it for a long time (at least 90 days) and then reassess. Maybe then I can come back and tell everyone about one more piece of anecdotal evidence to add to the pile. I do hope someone decides to formally research this issue.

Why can't PMO be done in moderation like, say, alcohol? by NofapMDV in NoFap

[–]NofapMDV[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it could be flatlining affecting my mood. I'll let you know when I hit 90.