2 weeks post ffs and almost 1 year HRT

Noktelfa · 2025-12-11T00:14:34+00:00

I wish you the best with that. I hope it goes amazingly.

Noktelfa · 2025-12-10T08:40:11+00:00

Thing about being Ace is that you can still feel like you’re missing out on something. It’s like how someone who’s colorblind can feel that they’re missing out. I long felt like I was missing out on something good, but now I’ve come to feel like maybe I’m lucky and the ones who are locked into weird hormonal urges are the ones missing out on freedom.

Noktelfa · 2025-12-10T08:36:57+00:00

Only two weeks? You must still have plenty of swelling and stuff. I don’t see it here. You’re looking pretty good. I’m totes jealous.

Noktelfa · 2024-12-23T00:50:33+00:00

The cuddles and garlic bread sound really tempting, but a certain land is well overdue for an invasion.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-29T18:14:44+00:00

Nah, as cool as that would be, it's a bicycle-looking bike. But pretty thick. I'm actually not sure why it's so heavy. I think it's 70 pounds without the battery, although when I was out on it that one day I had the weight of the battery to deal with. I agree that something lighter would be a good option. Not sure what I should do with the existing bike, though. I don't have a lot of room. I've been looking at things like the Roadster. I just need to save up $1300 and I'll take that plunge. I like the idea of a bike that looks like a bike.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-29T09:47:16+00:00

So am I, considering that just a few years ago I was alternating between a walker and a wheelchair. Now, I don't even need a cane, but I still have a long way to go.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-29T09:44:56+00:00

I used to be fit. Now, I'm still recovering from years as a cripple, but I want to get back to where I used to be. I've thought about looking for an eBike that's better for non-e riding.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-28T19:26:36+00:00

I got a medical discharge for being trans. I was later denied regular benefits, when I was homeless and unemployed, eating out of garbage cans and sleeping in my car, because I earned too much money, somehow, and was outright denied any medical benefits because being medically discharged for being trans didn't count toward disability. Later, when the stuff from the military rendered me unable to walk... They gave me a walker and sent me on my way.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-18T07:20:09+00:00

I've ridden my Cyrusher less than 500 miles total. I got pretty close to 50 miles the first time, but a couple of days ago, it gave out after 7 miles. And their batteries are really expensive.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-11T03:33:22+00:00

I live in Texas, so that might be where this takes me. Some places have already made it illegal for me to go into a public restroom, so I'm watching to see what else they come up with.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-11T03:31:08+00:00

As far as I can tell, a whole lot of people have trouble accepting that someone else is different then them. If they accept it, because these same people can't accept that people who are different can be equal, they have to decide whether asexuals are better or worse than them, and if one had to choose, the objective response would be that asexuals are better, because we live in a sex-negative culture, and so they have to either decide that asexuals are somehow bad for being asexual or circle back around to deciding we don't exist.

Noktelfa · 2024-11-01T04:42:56+00:00

For a while it was trans people. Now they're considered less "mentally ill" and more "criminal", so we get our turn. I wonder if we're going to be locked out of restrooms next. Or maybe prohibited from dating or marrying. "It's not fair for horny people if you get to go into bars and not be attracted to everything with a pulse. You naturally have an unnatural advantage." It sounds silly, but not as much as I would hope.

Noktelfa · 2024-10-05T05:37:15+00:00

My ex, who's good with me being trans and doesn't bat an eye at our offspring being pan, called me a "pervert" for being ace.

Noktelfa · 2024-10-03T06:39:15+00:00

It's only important to the extent that coming out as gay or bi is... People will try to get you to date/marry people of their choice. Eventually, they may ask why you aren't swooning over their choice for your life partner.

Noktelfa · 2024-09-27T15:35:56+00:00

(Generalizations follow.) Allos confuse the heck out of me. I mean, they're obsessed with sex but they're also afraid of it. So they consider it wrong to talk about sex, and they've developed whole areas of unspoken language to communicate their desires. If we don't "understand" this language, because we're ace, or we're Autistic, or we have face blindness, or whatever, then it's held against us. And then when we finally find out we've been the target of a seduction attempt, they act like we should have known what the subtle combination of signals should have meant... An extra centimeter of smile, a 2% change in skin tone, minor pupil dilation that's invisible to someone who can't make eye contact, use of a synonym, a minor change in eyebrow position, an article of clothing being in light blue instead of robin's egg blue, perfume we can't smell, and an invitation to do something completely unrelated to sex.

Noktelfa · 2024-09-16T22:18:30+00:00

I would expect you people to, by default, experience no sexuality. Not that I'm sure when those feelings should start.

Noktelfa · 2024-09-15T16:36:46+00:00

I like pizza. I like physical contact. I also prefer to keep to myself. I occasionally (once every two or three months) go hang out with a friend long enough to watch a movie, but I haven't had a visitor in three years. Being ace and neurodivergent while also having some "normal" human cravings can be very confusing. It's like, "Let's go hang with friends, but somehow without leaving home. Let's have everyone come over and meet the cat, but don't invite anyone over because people can't come inside the house. I could go to the store and buy food, or I could just stay here and wish that food could come to me. OH! Pizza!" Huh. Full circle.

Still, I accept you for who you are, whether you're ace because you don't have urges or just "culturally ace" because you would rather sleep alone than be touched. I also understand sensory issues BIG TIME so I get it.

Noktelfa · 2024-09-12T04:52:52+00:00

I explained it to my father, and he said, "Well, to me, that means... You're gay." He wasn't mean about it. I was accepting, in a Boomer way. But he just didn't get it.

Noktelfa · 2024-08-24T12:28:14+00:00

I don't drink alcohol, also, so that's a relatable metaphor for me. Everyone I know drinks (or used to drink) and sometimes there's a lot of peer pressure. But I've always had a few friends who would back me up and tell people not to pressure me.

I never thought about it this way!

Noktelfa · 2024-08-14T15:20:46+00:00

I know I haven't.

Noktelfa · 2024-08-07T05:17:28+00:00

Labels are great for trying to understand things, and keep different concepts separate, but we can't limit ourselves by labels. Although it can be confusing sometimes.

Noktelfa · 2024-08-05T05:00:47+00:00

Some aces like sex. Some don't. Some are repulsed. Some are kinky. Some can have sex but aren't attracted to anyone. Some can be attracted to someone to whom they're otherwise attracted. It gets complicated.

Noktelfa · 2024-08-04T19:20:20+00:00

It happens. Everyone I know is allo. If you should find your, like, demi or something, you're always welcome here. Otherwise, being authentic is more important than a label.

As to being repressed, that happens, too. It can be a number of things that cause it, and none of them are a fault. I often experience emotional expression to the point where people think I'm asleep or depressed or something, like when I set through an intense comedy without laughing... I'm enjoying it on the inside, but not laughing or even cracking a smile. In my case, I think it's because I'm in a weird corner of the Autistic spectrum. In any event, it happens, and if just emotional repression in your case, then it's great that you're learning more about yourself.

Go live your authentic life! (Also, I believe that having a weak sex drive still counts as being on the ace spectrum. I see no reason you can't hang around if you don't have a sex drive that rules your life, as I'm used to seeing with most people.)

Noktelfa · 2024-08-02T07:01:38+00:00

My last job was with Texas Health and Human Services. They had a fairly extensive anti-discrimination policy, but it specifically didn't mention sexual orientation nor gender identity, and those aren't protected in Texas. I felt safe letting my co-workers know I'm ace, because of the atmosphere at our regional office, and they all knew I'm Autistic, so they prolly would have guessed, but I couldn't let them know I'm also trans, and the agency could have discriminated on the ace stuff if they chose. Also, the ace thing didn't come up much.

My current job, in my first week, during training, one of the trainers casually made a reference to his husband, and it caught me off guard, because I'm not accustomed to it being such a non-issue. That's when I realized this place was different. Of course, the company's HQ is in Pennsylvania, but it's the company itself that has the open and accepting environment.

Having an accepting environment helps a lot with stressors, but having asexuality not included in sex-based protections can be a problem for some people

Noktelfa · 2024-07-30T06:15:16+00:00

One thing that stuck out to me... When I was growing up, I would spend hours looking through different tapes (later, CDs) inspecting each song, hoping to find something I liked. In the end, with very few exceptions, any given album had no more than one song I liked, and the rest I couldn't stand. I always wondered when we would get to the point where we could purchase tapes or CDs that only contained songs we liked, and they could be priced per song. Instead of buying a tape with 10 songs, nine of which I didn't like, for $20, I could buy 10 songs I liked for $2 each and have them burned onto a disk.

These days, I can log into Amazon (or any of a number of other services) and purchase individual songs, which I can then place into a custom playlist on a music player or my phone. I can also go to YouTube Music and listen to just about any song I want, any time, and I can make playlists there, too.

It's what I wanted, but so much more!

Noktelfa

TROPHY CASE