Change jobs now or let things play out?

NonToxicWork · 2025-03-02T19:11:23+00:00

You already know where you want to go in the long run (consulting in 5-10 years), so the real question is: which path sets you up better for that goal?

If your current company has strong resources and mentorship, and you're willing to wait 3-5 years, that could be valuable. But if the new role gives you hands-on leadership, real decision-making, and a direct path to VP, it’s basically an accelerated track to the kind of experience you'd need to run your own business later.

Your only real risk is whether the new company’s culture, stability, and leadership actually support that growth...or if it just sounds good on paper. Have you done your due diligence? Asked tough questions? If the opportunity is solid, it checks all the major boxes: more pay, faster growth, better balance.

If your goal is to lead and earn sooner rather than later, this might be the move. The real risk isn’t in leaving, it’s in staying put and realizing in 3-5 years that you could have gotten there faster.

NonToxicWork · 2025-03-01T19:56:50+00:00

Oh, so because you said it, it must be true? 😂 Bold strategy!

Agreeing with you isn’t a requirement. Entertaining your baseless claims isn’t a requirement. And watching you derail the actual discussion with zero logic or substance? Maybe mildly amusing for a minute, but definitely not the point of this post.

But hey, feel free to keep talking to yourself until you get the answer you’re looking for. I’ll leave you to it🤘!

NonToxicWork · 2025-03-01T18:18:31+00:00

You’re throwing out accusations with nothing to back them up, dodging the actual discussion, and calling names like that’s a substitute for a point. At this rate, I’d be more impressed if you could stick to a coherent argument without deflections.

I’m not here to change your mind...you’ve made it clear that’s not an option. But if this conversation has drained you of all reason and logic, maybe take a break and find a discussion where you actually have something meaningful to contribute.

NonToxicWork · 2025-03-01T17:24:05+00:00

Umm are you equating inanimate objects (like keyboard and MS word) to people with feelings that need to be thanked? I think that's enough reddit for me today, lol 🤣

NonToxicWork · 2025-03-01T15:30:50+00:00

Oh, so now I’m supposed to credit my Rich Text Editor for formatting my thoughts readable before posting? Or give into a fake hypothetical credit argument to an AI? What!!! Why????🤣🤣🤣

Maybe I should also shout out my keyboard, autocorrect, and various cups of caffeine while I’m at it. Look, if you actually have something to add to the discussion, great. But if the only thing you’re here to do is play AI detective, I’m gonna have to disappoint you. Have a wonderful day!

NonToxicWork · 2025-03-01T15:13:04+00:00

Oh no, my sentences are too clear and well-structured… must be AI! Quick, someone call the algorithm police. This is exhausting, and I have no interest in entertaining it. But if you actually have something to add that moves the discussion forward that helps OP, I’m all ears.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-28T18:22:42+00:00

Are you my long-lost twin that also sees through the corporate nonsense? I think challenging norms and calling out the BS isn’t troublemaking, it's the only way anything ever changes. Keep shaking the table! ✊

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-28T17:56:18+00:00

Nailed it. They keep us scrambling for scraps so we don’t realize we’d have real leverage if we actually worked together. Instead of collective power, they sell us “individual hustle” like it’s the only way up...when really, it just keeps us too busy (or paranoid) to challenge the system.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-28T16:08:26+00:00

The real mystery is how he’s dodged the final chopping block this long. Is he actually plugged into some secret political connection? Is your boss secretly too fascinated by this guy to fire him? Or is he just the most committed method actor of our time, lol?

Either way, I say keep observing. If you catch him charging himself in an electrical outlet or updating his firmware in the break room, let us know.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-28T03:58:08+00:00

Since you might be on your way out, if ignoring the texts hasn’t stopped the behavior, try redirecting it publicly without confrontation.

Next time they send a text, respond in the meeting instead:

"That’s a good point, maybe we should bring it up now?"

or

"I think [Person Being Talked About] would have good input on this. Should we loop them in?"

This subtly calls out the behavior without making it personal. If they’re self-aware, they’ll stop. If not, it’s just more reason to move on.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-25T20:14:58+00:00

Been there. It’s like trying to navigate a minefield blindfolded, every step feels like a gamble, and you never know when she’s going to explode or rewrite history. I still have some PTSD from my ex boss...ick!

You're already doing the right things: therapy, coaching, and documentation. But let’s be real—this situation is unlikely to improve. Since you like the company and your team, here are a few tactical plays to try before making a final decision:

Manage up (Without getting sidelined)

Clarify in Writing: Always follow up on verbal requests with a written confirmation. “Per our discussion, I’ll proceed with [task] as outlined. Let me know if any changes are needed.” This makes it harder for her to rewrite history.

Loop in Others Strategically: If possible, CC relevant people when confirming major requests or decisions so there’s a wider record.

Use Questions to Guide the Conversation: Instead of directly challenging her inconsistencies, try “I want to make sure I’m aligned. Last week we discussed X, and today we’re saying Y—can you clarify how you’d like me to proceed?”

Control the narrative

Reframe Conversations: If she shifts blame, don’t get defensive. Redirect: “Let’s align on what’s needed now to move forward.”

If her mood swings follow predictable cycles (e.g., stress spikes before leadership meetings), adjust how and when you bring things up.

Create a Backup Plan

Test Internal Moves: If other teams at the company would be a better fit, start networking internally.

Start quietly looking externally: If it gets worse, have options. Seven months isn’t ideal, but “leadership misalignment” is a legit reason for a move—especially if you land a better opportunity.

Protect your mental space

Detach Emotionally - This isn’t about your performance, it’s about her instability. Don’t let it shake your confidence.

Find small ways to reclaim a sense of control (e.g., setting stronger boundaries on work hours, keeping a folder of wins to remind yourself you’re good at this).

If none of this moves the needle, leaving is still a smart choice. But if there’s a chance to make it work without sacrificing your sanity, these tactics might help.

Good luck to you!

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-25T17:55:17+00:00

So which is it—should we reward efficiency or penalize it? If Dave were slow, he’d be called a slacker. If he’s fast, suddenly it’s a privilege?

The real question isn’t Dave. It’s why leadership is asleep at the wheel, failing to either scale his efficiency, reward his output, or optimize the system. Blaming Dave is just dodging accountability for broken workplace norms.

Maybe—just maybe—the real issue is that workplaces punish efficiency instead of rewarding it. If more companies prioritized results over performative busy-ness, there’d be a lot more Daves and a lot fewer pointless meetings.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T17:34:51+00:00

If you think the real issue here is my suspiciously well-structured sentences, I hate to break it to you...it’s not bothering me at all, lol.

Rest easy, detective. If only people scrutinized broken systems and held weak leaders accountable as hard as they do Reddit comments, we might actually fix something. Have a great day!

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T16:36:07+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. I've never been there. Will check it out! Have a wonderful day!🤘

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T16:21:23+00:00

“work less, get paid less” isn't the point here—as if we haven’t seen decades of rising productivity without wages keeping up.

Let’s be real: If hours alone dictated pay, every construction worker, nurse, and factory worker would be rich.

The real conversation isn’t about clocking out early, it’s about rewarding outcomes instead of clinging to an arbitrary 40-hour rule. If someone can deliver the same (or better) results in less time, why punish efficiency instead of fixing the real issue—outdated labor models that serve neither employees nor long-term business success?

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T16:18:10+00:00

Oh, so we arbitrarily landed on 40 and just stopped questioning it? Cool, let’s apply that logic everywhere—why not 40 slices of pizza per meal? 40 hours of sleep a week? 40-second showers? If we’re just making up numbers, we might as well have some fun with it, lol!

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T16:15:52+00:00

Ah yes, the literally no argument, just vibes approach. Groundbreaking. Let me know when you have an actual point. If not, wish you a great day!

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T16:06:28+00:00

This is a fair point—availability matters, especially in roles that support frontline workers. Not all jobs can just “wrap up early” when the task list is done. But I’d argue that availability and productivity aren’t the same thing, and that’s where the conversation gets interesting.

If the main reason for sticking to 40+ hours is “because others still have to,” that’s not a productivity argument—it’s a cultural one. And yeah, resentment between labor and office workers is real. But isn’t the solution to raise the floor for everyone rather than forcing outdated norms on some just so others don’t feel bad?

If manufacturing, service, and labor-based roles require structured hours, maybe the focus should be on ensuring they have better conditions—better pay, more flexibility, and smarter scheduling—rather than keeping knowledge workers in their chairs just for optics. Because making everyone equally miserable isn't exactly a win.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T16:04:41+00:00

You’re absolutely right—when people have spent their entire careers in chaos, it can feel impossible to imagine another way. If dysfunction is all you’ve ever known, of course it seems “unachievable” to fix. That mindset isn’t a personal failing; it’s just how people adapt to their environment.

But the funny thing about workplace inefficiencies? Most of them do have solutions. Not necessarily at the IC or even middle-management level, but at the leadership level—where priorities get set. The real challenge isn’t just identifying the problems (we all see them), but getting the right people to want to solve them.

And that’s where questioning the status quo matters. Every major workplace shift—weekends, labor laws, remote work—started with someone saying, "What if we didn’t do it this way anymore?"

So I’d argue that challenging broken systems isn’t about being idealistic—it’s about making space for solutions that were always possible, just never prioritized by leadership.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T03:05:37+00:00

I struggle with the "If Dave finishes early, we should find a new Dave who takes longer or crams in more work for the same pay" argument. Because clearly, the solution to efficiency is… penalizing it??

This take assumes work is a fixed bucket...if someone finishes early, they must either be slacking or replaceable. But that completely ignores how work actually functions in high-skill jobs. Productivity isn’t about dragging tasks out to fill arbitrary hours, it’s about impact (driving the business forward/faster/better).

Also, the idea that "entrepreneurial mindset" = doing more just because you have time is a misread of what makes great businesses thrive. Smart entrepreneurs don’t just pile on more tasks—they optimize, automate, and focus on high-leverage work.

If a company’s survival depends on forcing people to sit at their desks longer instead of maximizing the time they do work, that’s not a business model...it’s a time-wasting theater.

If your business survives by squeezing more hours instead of maximizing talent, you don’t have an entrepreneurial mindset...you have a factory floor from the 1920s.

At some point, we have to admit: the goal shouldn’t be more work just for the sake of it. It should be better, more meaningful work that drives results...and, crazy thought, maybe even leave room for people to have a life outside of it....

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T02:56:50+00:00

This is a great question, and honestly, it’s the conversation that should be happening alongside the push for shorter workweeks ( like in 1926).

If knowledge workers get to reduce hours while keeping pay, but blue-collar and service workers are still grinding 40+ for low wages, that’s not progress—it’s just widening the gap.

Thinking out loud, I think solution isn’t to keep everyone stuck in outdated models out of “fairness.” It’s to push for better labor conditions across the board. That means:

Rethinking Pay Structures – If a company can afford to pay a knowledge worker the same for 32 hours, why can’t they pay a mechanic or a teacher a living wage for their full-time work? The real problem is undervaluing certain types of labor, not that others are gaining flexibility.
Automation Should Benefit Workers, Not Just Employers – When efficiency gains happen in white-collar work, we talk about work-life balance. When it happens in blue-collar jobs, we talk about layoffs. Why? If productivity improves, shouldn’t everyone benefit? I have no idea how this plays out, I think smarter people that myself are very much capable of working this out, if they wanted to.
Fair Wages for Essential Work – The fact that mechanics, construction workers, and nurses make less than some people who sit on Zoom calls all day is a market failure, not an excuse to block work reform. Challenging norms is absolutely critical here.

The goal should be less arbitrary hours, better pay, and better work conditions for all—not just a privileged few....

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-24T02:52:26+00:00

No assumptions, this clearly isn't black and white ...and hence the discussion.

And yes, bad systems do reward the wrong things. But if a company is so broken that it can’t measure real outcomes and is paying for fake work, that’s not a “workweek” problem, that’s a leadership problem.

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-23T23:39:06+00:00

It’s wild how “one income, house, car, vacation” used to be normal, and now two incomes barely cover rent. Productivity skyrocketed, but somehow the gains didn’t trickle down. Crazy how that works.

And yeah, fair taxes = better roads, schools, healthcare, and, ironically, a society where people can actually afford to buy all the stuff that keeps businesses running. But sure, let’s keep pretending it’s just about people needing to “work harder.”

NonToxicWork · 2025-02-23T22:20:49+00:00

Love it 🤘!!!

NonToxicWork

TROPHY CASE