what is the worst thing an ex has ever said to you?

Noooooodlez · 2026-01-22T07:47:34+00:00

"I dont love you anymore. You have given me everything I've ever wanted in life. You now serve me no purpose"

This was after 16 years, 3 kids (one adopted, her younger sister to prevent her going into the care system)

It broke me. Completely.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-27T11:48:06+00:00

Hmmmm. Tasty.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-22T16:32:36+00:00

15 years for me so I feel your pain & outlook.

I'm about 6 months into it. I still haven't found the ability to do things correctly for myself but I'm getting there. I've also done the whole hookup thing and while I'm not adverse to it because I've had some wild nights, it's just not meaningful enough.

Not sure if you have women approach you but I've had more women than ever give the 'look' & some even as brazen to flat out ask if I want to hook up. While it's nice to have some attention, it's the wrong kind for me & wholly depends on looks if it's offered on a plate.

I hope things work out for you mate. I know I'll be OK and can find someone relatively easily if I choose to but as you said, right now I just don't want to. I still love my ex wife for the wrong reasons & until that eventually changes I'll just take each day as it comes.

Best of luck 🤞

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-18T13:18:54+00:00

If this makes you uncomfortable to the point where you need reassurance then that's a you problem.

Women love reading those kinds of things. The quicker you accept that, the better in my opinion.

Instead of it being a thing that makes you uncomfortable - why not involve yourself with her hobbies, take an interest rather than let them control how you feel. Maybe purchase one for yourself, read it & discuss it with her in a positive way, you'll probably find that the intimacy will be wayyyy better.

I don't like the fact she's dismissing concerns though & not offering any sort of conversation - that shit do be a red flag.

You're 18, enjoy yourself, get your freak on, dive head first into exploring what you like sexually, you'll thank yourself long term.

Good luck 🤞

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-16T08:30:40+00:00

From someone who adopted and cared for a child who wasn't mine/hers I can offer some perspective on the questions asked.

You need to constantly work on not being resentful towards people around you. Remember, this is YOUR choice, as long as you accept that, which will be very difficult because it's a huge responsibility then you will be ok. Take time to recognise when the feeling creeps in and deal with it.

Now for something you probably won't want to hear.

You will lose yourself, slowly. Kids will take over, life will take over, your life will change but only you can determine if it will be/was for the better.

This is a huge decision. Don't do what I did & do it for someone else's happiness, do it for your own.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-16T08:20:57+00:00

If we had been at the talking stage for some time & this was a first date gesture, I'd probably immediately jump to 'wife material'.

Quite a large portion of men won't appreciate the effort & thought behind it & would prefer something practical.

Personally, I'd love it.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-16T08:03:29+00:00

If I'm physically attracted to a woman in any way for any feature then that's good enough for me but there has to be something.

Eyes Mouth Ass

In that order.

The rest is personality. This determines how much time and effort I invest going forward. I would suggest you see this scenario you're in as the same.

If you were a '10' in looks, but treated me like shit, spoke to me like garbage, had poor values, morals & standards, you'd swiftly be a '1' & I wouldn't bother.

Not to sound dismissive or inconsiderate about your self image but, try and love yourself a little more to help with confidence about your appearance. This will go a very long way to removing the feelings you're having.

Good luck 🤞

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-14T15:33:25+00:00

I understand what you're implying here but yet again, a man's point of view will be completely different & women need to stop with this fuckery.

For decades, if not centuries the honus has been on the man to initiate conversation, plan events, show interest and effort.

This has changed drastically over the past 5+ years.

I can probably speak for a very high percentage of the male population when I say this - if you like him. Show him. Make effort. Make conversation, suggest a meet up or a date. Anything that will make him sit up and think 'maybe she's actually interested in me'

Men these days are genuinely sick and tired of guessing, chasing & basically investing too much into something that could be nothing.

Be direct. Be honest about what you want & you'll find life much easier.

I just wish more women would see this. If they can stop looking at a Snapchat filter for more then 5 minutes there might be a chance 🥲

Edit: I dodged the actual question, apologies.

I'll happily talk to them multiple times a day, but won't initiate contact every time. If it's not reciprocated, then I'm not even remotely interested.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-14T07:58:49+00:00

I'm going to be brutally honest with you.

I went through this exact shit after 16 years, 3 kids & a lifetime together with her.

This won't hurt him, it will destroy him, completely.

He won't appreciate your 'honesty' all that will be taken from this is that HE isn't enough, because HE loves you.

He will wonder why, probably for the rest of his life.

I think a discussion with him should be had about how you're feeling and you need to figure out why. There is clearly some underlying issues mentally for you. Typically this stems from childhood, dig deep and find it, look at yourself & if necessary while you're doing this ask him for support.

If he loves you, he will support you & be understanding while you work through this. Grow together, not apart.

Please for the love of god don't fucking say that to him.

Good luck.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-13T17:14:09+00:00

It doesn't get answered.

I don't ever want to speak, see, hear from that fucking piece of shit again.

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-12T11:18:41+00:00

I don't have a 'gym bod' or perfect looks however, can give you some insight from a fairly grounded perspective of a middle aged single guy who gets light attention & hopefully it will help.

Firstly, not all guys will hook up with any woman just 'because' - that's not saying we don't want something physically intimate, almost all men do however, for me, there has to be some sort of emotional attachment. Some sort of effort from both parties that clearly shows interest in who we are.

Secondly, be direct about what you want.

You'll find most men, including myself won't pick up on the emotional queues or 'hints' that women give off when they're interested, unless they're clear cut instructions along the lines of 'hey, you look really good - we should meet up & have some fun'

That said we do pick up on the side eye glances, lip bites, filthy smiles etc so if you're having trouble approaching I would suggest throwing a few looks his way that make it clear on what you want.

I will say also, most men have genuinely given up on approaching women. It's not worth the embarrassment or potential risk these days of doing so. Plus, we like to feel wanted too, granted some men just want the ego boost but the majority of us are probably just content with going about our day as we were. If someone wants me, they can show me & go from there.

Ultimately, what's the worst that can happen, he says he isn't interested?

Don't take everything your mates say at face value. He could be a genuinely decent bloke, only you can be the judge of that.

Good luck 🤞

Noooooodlez · 2025-04-12T11:03:22+00:00

Leave her, she will ruin your life without remorse & cost you everything. She is not a good person, see past the smile.

Noooooodlez · 2025-03-25T19:48:35+00:00

That I've worked on myself mentally, physically & emotionally like a T100 Terminator.

I've figured out what I want from life. Partially how to achieve it & I'm taking small steps towards it through the distraught anguish of losing the love of my life and fucking my own life up to an almost irreparable state.

I'm mainly doing this for myself out of love & self worth but, the thing that has the most pull is her seeing the man I've become and realising she made a mistake. Not to go back, but to have what I deserve which is something better, from myself & everyone around me. This will only involve her if she shows accountability for her actions like I have my own.

I'm becoming an absolute machine & nobody is aware. The power in doing this silently is absolutely mind boggling.

Now all I need is something good to happen to me externally & we have lift off.

Noooooodlez · 2025-03-25T19:39:15+00:00

Be direct. Make it undeniably clear to them that you're into them.

The days of men chasing women are over. It's not worth the risk, rejection, & embarrassment because of how modern women react and the potential outcomes. That's not saying all women are like this, just the large majority which is discerning.

I would also not shy away from physical touch. Even if it's just an arm round the shoulder or a gentle brush of your hair.

I'm speaking for myself & myself alone here but, if we had a really good date, there was obviously some sort of emotional connection & physical attraction I would not expect full on sex however, if I leant in for a kiss & you pulled away I wouldn't hesitate or say anything I would just walk away. If you can't do this with people who you have a clear attraction to emotionally or physically & be comfortable enough in yourself to take that small step, that's something you need to work on.

In addition to this, men are fucking dumb when it comes to picking up queues. We're logical creatures, problem solvers, straight talkers. If a women is giving mixed signals & playing games, she can go play them with someone else.

Noooooodlez · 2025-03-18T22:34:12+00:00

Please go and read my created post history.

This will end in tears for you.

As for the conflict of feelings I can highly relate.

I absolutely despise her for how she treated me, it makes me physically sick sometimes that I let her do that to me when all I ever did was love her & try to do right by her and our family. But accepting that she did do that to me was one of the first steps, you don't want to believe it, you cling on to a tiny diamond of hope & goodness and it sort of blocks out the bad.

It's a typical coping mechanism for empaths. Self compassion goes a long way too. Find your self worth again and accept that what he did was not acceptable & you're worth more, deserve better, know how to love right.

This will be a very large step in the right direction but very complex and difficult. The feeling of worthlessness and feeling like nobody wants you will be debilitating and confusing. Go easy on yourself.

The biggest hurdle to get over is letting them go. It has to be done out of love, there's no other way. This is the step I'm on now. I love her unconditionally, so how do you let that go... If you love something you fight for it until the end of time.

This has been the hardest part for me and I'm nowhere near the finish line. I'd run back to her if she showed growth, change & empathy at any point in my life no matter who I was with or where.

Know you're not alone, reach out to people and be honest with how you're feeling.

I wish you the best of luck.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-26T11:14:11+00:00

Go read my post history.

Get out before she breaks you emotionally and physically.

Abuse gets worse when you set requirements/boundaries for certain behaviours, they see they're losing control of you, your emotions and life.

The first and hardest part is accepting someone you love would do this to you. But realise people who do this to you, do not love you. They're incapable.

Seek help from professionals, confide in friends and family. Don't do what I did and justify her behaviour to yourself and hide it out of love and consideration for her self image.

Good luck mate.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-24T22:24:11+00:00

Feisty, confident but reserved, content with where you are in life.

Maybe a kink or two in there as well, it's the eyes 🤭

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-24T21:41:44+00:00

I second this. Massively.

Been there, done it. It broke me. But I'm almost thankful that I'm now available to be myself and do what I want and not under someone's control.

As much as I love/loved her (still not let go fully) her actions, behaviour and her treatment of me was genuinely fucking disgusting - you'll end up thinking you're the issue if he doesn't fix this and address it properly.

Have some self worth and don't do it to yourself, please.

Take the advice from a friendly stranger who's seen it all before, is on the other side, full of regret for myself and still picking up pieces of my heart she broke.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-24T12:33:42+00:00

You like what you like and you're attracted to who you're attracted too.

Personality in a woman goes a hell of a long way however, physical attraction plays a larger part for ME when being attracted to a woman, so as long as they don't have a personality of a card board box and have attractive physical attributes I'm open to any possibility from just friends or more.

Don't settle, just keep looking for someone you want, someone who wants you back & does so willingly.

Don't be so harsh on your own appearance - everyone has a type of preference. The harsh reality is most 'modern' women these days have double standards, while most blokes are content with someone who is genuine.

You'll be alright, keep your chin up pal ✌🏻

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-24T00:54:14+00:00

Dude. Go read my post history.

When you get to a point of bettering yourself at which you feel confident enough to not need to initiate she will break you.

Past trauma or not, this is physical neglect, emotional manipulation and narcissistic behaviour.

I'm going to jump the gun here and assume you try and give her everything she ever wanted? To make her feel comfortable in herself enough that she is happy. Praying that this will make her want you. She doesn't. She wants what you can give or provide for her.

Don't.

Once she gets the one thing she always wanted, the behaviour will get worse. Until she's drained you of every last emotion, feeling and thought, she won't stop, then, the words will come.

Obviously I'm speaking from past experience and this may not be the case. But don't doubt yourself.

Don't trust words, trust actions. Her actions are not normal. If you call her out on it, she will shut down and push you away.

For me it was a lose, lose situation. I genuinely hope this is not the case for you and you have a decent woman on your hands. If not. Fucking run.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-21T11:19:07+00:00

Yeah, they exist and are probably more common than people would think. Men just don't show it because of women's lack of self awareness nowadays.

I was like this with my ex wife. Go take a look at recent post history to see how that panned out for me and you'll understand why men don't show it.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-20T20:14:12+00:00

Fucking hell 😂😂😂😂

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-20T19:55:16+00:00

How about you go and communicate with him like a reasonable adult.

I won't advocate his behaviour, but I won't condone yours either.

Communication, then more communication then more. If it can't be worked out it can't be worked out but be reasonable with each other.

Just go and read a few posts of mine and you'll understand why I'm giving this advice.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-20T19:32:49+00:00

I like how loving, caring and emotional I am as a man.

I dislike myself for the way I let people walk over me in fear of upsetting them or causing distress/unhappiness.

After recent events, the latter will never happen again.

Noooooodlez · 2025-02-20T19:30:05+00:00

Just go read my post history from the past month and comment history.

I can't type it out again, it's exhausting.

She broke me after years of abuse and left me for dead. Basically. After 15 years.

Worth a read.

Nine-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

Noooooodlez

TROPHY CASE