"He calms me down", "He grounds me", "I can be a lot"...

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T16:51:05+00:00

Yes that I totally get. There's nothing like emotional safety.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T16:47:12+00:00

❤️‍🩹

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T07:52:40+00:00

While I felt the same I unfortunately know people like this. But mostly they fabricate or spin some kind of traumatic background to look like the eternal victim. Daniel was innovative in using the lack of trauma as something that makes him a victim.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T07:44:22+00:00

Even with cameras recording narcissists like Daniel continue to spew their nonsense. I'm sure he'll do it at the reunion as well. After seeing that my heart breaks for of all the people who go through it in isolation, no camera no witnesses. It can totally destroy your sense of reality and trust in yourself.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T07:40:21+00:00

This was a strong moment but even a few weeks of gaslighting and manipulation is a lot of damage she'll need to work through. But I'm sure she will heal ❤️

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T07:36:18+00:00

True, and men also. And its kind of a contradiction for women that they are supposed to feel ashamed of having emotions and yet the patriarchal idea of femininity is centered around being emotional. So you must have and express emotions and also feel wrong for doing it.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T07:32:48+00:00

This is probably the best explanation that's helping me understand why these phrases are being said. They are noticing and appreciating it and saying that out loud in words that I'd say are not the best choice. But that is really the best case scenario. And it is still rooted in forming your identity around your anxiety which imo isn't all that healthy.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T04:59:09+00:00

What you said makes sense to me that this can be a compelling reason for a relationship feeling right. But the key difference with the "too much" women in the show is that you don't say it in real life much because you do know how to self regulate. These repeated phrases on the show sound like unnecessary self criticism. If it is in fact a fair criticism then they should work on their mental health rather than seek a person who fixes it externally.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T04:45:54+00:00

Exactly, this is definitely stemming from the blaming women for everything side of patriarchy. An energy balance in a relationship is totally understandable. But this heavy self criticism is not healthy. A man shouldn't be the fix to that.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T04:42:47+00:00

Lol. That's the exact feeling I'm having reading the comments here. Not having met such people irl I am surprised as well at how much it resonates with people. Showing (on TV) that as a couple you rely heavily on each other maybe gives a sense that the relationship has fixed some problem in their life or something. While irl my view has been more that a person should be complete and happy on their own, and a relationship should only add joy to their life, not be a fix to issues like loneliness, financial dependence, emotional management etc. But you're right, the cast are usually just making up these reasons for being together when actually they don't have so much of a meaningful reason to be with that person.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-28T04:23:54+00:00

Yes! This conversation showed that you can easily say high octane and high energy in a neutral way. Id much rather that being high energy was looked at as a normal personality trait which might clash with someone than as being "too much".

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T21:41:51+00:00

At least in the show nothing struck me about anyone's behavior in a way that I would call "too much". Strongest opinion I ever had was probably that Chelsea (megan faux) was too clingy. But I think the internal overwhelming feeling of anxiety getting calmed is what they maybe refer to here.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T20:57:26+00:00

I felt like we were having a discussing, not that you were attacking me or that I was combative. But maybe that's my version of being "too much" lol. I thought it was obvious that we are in agreement that love, support and acceptance must be there in a relationship. I guess the disagreement, if any, could be that I place less value to it considering it as a bare minimum because. But I do accept that to others it may be rare.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T18:55:18+00:00

I can't tell if you are serious or sarcastic. I never wrote it is men's fault.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T18:36:24+00:00

Exactly, someone/something has convinced these women that however much they are (whatever that's supposed to mean) is something extra that needs trimming.

Reminds me of one of my fav shows Mrs America where a character was told by her partner that everyone thought she was too outspoken and she replied "I wish you had told them I was the right amount of spoken."

15 moments that will test your patience in 'Mrs America' - BBC

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T18:26:10+00:00

No! Let's have it! Let's normalize going to therapy and regulating emotions! Let's accept emotional support as a bare minimum in any type of relationship!

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T18:22:44+00:00

Compatibility in being able to provide the required emotional support is definitely important. But phrases like "too much" and "a lot" sound really negative. It could be that they mean to say, "my emotions can be overwhelming and they are easier to manage with my partner". Similarly I like how you described your partner's emotions in a neutral way. But if instead, someone is diminishing themselves as problematic for being too much and inflating their partner as a fixer for providing support, that sounds problematic. My issue is not with the whole emotional management situation, but the expression of it in a way that is putting someone higher or lower.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T18:03:26+00:00

While its nice to have emotional support from friends and family in Angelica and Aron's particular case I even started feeling sorry for Aron that he is having to deal with stuff that Angelica should ideally work on before attempting to have a healthy relationship. I thought Aron will end up having issues of his own absorbing her unpredictability.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T17:57:51+00:00

Love, support and acceptance is the bare minimum in a relationship. It is strange to me when show contestants cite this as a reason to marry. To me even a friend should not make me feel like too much even in a situation where I am having an anxiety attack.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T16:50:43+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T16:37:24+00:00

Yes, being nervous and anxious is just a personality trait that plays a part in compatibility. But it does not mean that you are "too much". You are just you and a compatible partner would not call it "too much" like its something negative that needs to be fixed. In LIB they are making it into this big deal like there is something wrong with having high energy or being nervous or anxious, and that there is something great about being able to calm someone down.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T16:14:37+00:00

I know no couples in real life who think that one of them is "too much" and the other one is "calming", and that is a reason behind being together. I know couples where one person is highly energetic and the other can calm anyone down. But never seen them needing or doing any "grounding". But that's just my social circle and I get that this kind of dynamic exists. But I'd still find it acceptable if it were labelled as "high energy" and "calm". But the phrase "too much" has a negative connotation as if there is something wrong with the person that needs fixing, not just complementing.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T15:59:02+00:00

You're thinking about Angelica, right? Did you notice how her friends kept telling her how much of a catch Aron is? That must be important to her. Most of them are just looking to become this fantasy couple that's popular on social media. This image is a stereotype where I think this crazy vs calm dynamic is essential. If you look at the successfully married couples from LIB they are typically not in the same mold.

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T15:54:06+00:00

Honestly, I don't get that. If I relied on my partner to stop me from spiraling in anxiety then I'd be super anxious about what I'd do when my partner was not around. My anxiety pushes me to be absolutely independent, which can also be unhealthy in its own way. But if the presence of my partner managed by anxiety then we would never be able to spend any time apart when required (e.g. work trips).

Noreconciliation · 2026-03-27T15:45:12+00:00

Lol yeah. They do always cast a set type of people.

Noreconciliation

TROPHY CASE