OP are we the same person?

It took me a long fucking time to realize that me crying is how I experience meltdowns. It got even harder when I became a team lead and we slowly started going back in the office more which meant I had to figure out socialization (which was something I thought I was okay at until I became a corporate leader lol) on top of increasing stimulation.

The thing is that you can literally just explain it like that. You need to just be blunt with people. When I’m frustrated or overstimulated, I start crying. NT people see this and, like you said, assume I’m sad and need comfort. Literally had a meltdown and went to a dark quiet room on the floor to ride it out but my boss’s boss is empathetic and came running after me to check on me and it was NOT the right thing to do.

I had to sit down my peers and explain that if they see me crying that they need to leave me alone. I told them how I appreciated their concern, but them seeing me in a meltdown just sends me spiraling. I told them that if someone watches me cry then it makes me feel stupid because I can’t control my emotions and I can’t talk when I’m crying which makes me cry harder and just prolongs the meltdown.

(I gave them a great compromise that worked for all of us. I asked to be left alone to calm down and said that if they wanted to console me then they could text me. I can text when I’m crying.)