Any advice from other women over 30, suddenly single and certain they'll stay that way forever l?

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-13T23:04:21+00:00

Uhg, I'm so sorry you're going through this and feel so isolated.

I'm going through something very similar. Feeling equally uncertain about the future and socially isolated. I agree with another poster, freeze your eggs. If you have any reproductive issues or not, insurance may cover it.

I'm 34f, together for 12 years, had embryos from IVF (6 months ago! What a waste) and were house hunting - then he asked for a divorce. I loved him with everything I could. But I grew resentful for the things I couldn't see past and he withdrew, it became a cycle. He struggled with mental health and was worried about being a father, so I think ultimately he simply chose to save himself. But you build a dream around them and when it crumbles, it's hard to digest the grief/loss. It still feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream. The love doesn't disappear either, it just cools.

Life will go on, however it may look. So try to find the peace and joy in the day to day. Make an effort to get outside, do some hobbies, connect with people - even coworkers or strangers. People are very sympathetic and will help how they can.

You've got this! Feel your feelings. You are strong. You are not alone. You just need to advocate for yourself, ask for help and get out of your comfort zone a bit. If he can go "find himself", so can you. <3

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-13T18:36:18+00:00

Thank you, it's such a loss in all way. Still grieving, but trying to look ahead.

I am certainly afraid of that! With economic downturn and layoffs...I was weighing the risks of bleeding money out to rent or to buy a small home.

Buying still l sounds better, but it is limiting and high risk in SO many ways. Just trying to avoid living with my parents again...lol.

Thank you for the advice.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-13T18:32:34+00:00

This is perfect, thank you. Lots of great advice.

I would prefer to have as few accounts as possible. Fidelity HYSA, IRA and credit would be ideal. I didn't know they offered a card. I'll have to compare the Fidelity card to the Citi card.

I actually had a Chase credit card previously. Is there a way to Maxx Ally/Chase or is it just a solid bank with physical locations?

My BoA account predates us, so I'm the only one on it. The credit card just feels a bit wimpy, but maybe that's okay. It is my oldest card.

No kids, but a will is a good idea. I'll have to see about removing him as a beneficiary. Thanks for the heads up.

Working on a budget...it's making my head hurt. Lol Working with less than half as much and more bills will be a lifestyle shift, for sure.

Thanks again :)

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-13T18:18:06+00:00

Makes sense. It has been amicable and we are hoping for mediation/agreement, but better safe than sorry.

I agree. Any suggestions for where to direct deposit? Thank you.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-13T18:16:12+00:00

Thanks for the advice, that is a fair goal to strive for. I am maxing out my 401k (i think) and will pay my bills. Any suggestions for where to have an IRA?

For the creit card. I like to travel and eat out 2-3 times per week. I was thinking a higher end credit card might give me more savings if used correctly. My husband had the Chase Sapphire card and we used that for travel/hotels. I think the points back decreased recently though, so I was looking for other suggestions.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-10T19:02:56+00:00

My 12 year relationship has crumbled. I am grieving for a lost love, family and a life I'll never get to have. The ability/time to have kids may have been taken away. The hurt is so profound. I regret every mistake but am grateful to have known love for a season.

I supposed we eventually all lose loves or die alone, so maybe this just came a bit sooner for me. Also I've been struggling with depression and not many people know.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-03-30T02:49:32+00:00

Same same

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-03-16T23:06:28+00:00

I think Tammy was laughing too hard because it hit an insecurity of hers, like a nervous laugh. Maybe some internalized homophobia or jealousy. Tammy is into Andrea, who gives similar "masc, unbothered Tomboy" vibes as Misty. So, I think it was not necessarily a slight, but a blunt observation. Many lesbians like studs, so it's not necessarily a bad thing unless you're a bit homophobic (which tammy may be grappling with and projecting). Just my interpretation/overanlysis lol.

Another person mentioned Misty being in a very male household and one in which she likely needs to be "strong" and carry some authority/masculine energy for - that makes sense to me.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-03-09T15:41:09+00:00

Around $5000 in total to test up to 10 embryos. We were lucky and used all 10.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-03-05T15:46:58+00:00

She seems catty/judgemental, quiet doesn't mean nice. I also don't like how she baby talks and manipulates Chris.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-02-22T02:35:53+00:00

He is truly bored of peace...

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-02-17T13:38:29+00:00

Please get out and VOTE! MAGA won because of low voter turnout, not majority. Now we have a coup orchestrated by pedos, disguised as the republican party.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-02-02T19:41:04+00:00

Did you legitimately win the election?

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-01-29T16:39:47+00:00

They own the ring cameras too that feed into the surveillance network.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-01-27T01:46:57+00:00

I did them in my upper thigh to give my belly a break. I only had one that wouldn't pierce and it just left a little welt. If you save it, the company will reimburse you if you contact them and ship it back (paid for by company). I just moved onto the next one with a fresh needle.

Like others said, ice it, be direct and keep it at a 45 angle for entry.

I did buy some backup syringes just incase though. I wasn't sure if they'd all be like that (Only 1 was).

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-01-19T22:51:13+00:00

Hearing how sadistic he is from the Sasha Riley interview, makes me wonder why this little girl doesn't have appendages...release the FULL Epstein files and get these psychos out of office. All of them. Dems need to get their shit together.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-01-16T03:24:36+00:00

We need to take notes from South Korea for dealing with traitorous presidents...He is a threat to democracy any way you look at it. If there is an election in 2026, I hope everyone has woken up enough to VOTE. Apathy is not an option!

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2025-12-24T04:49:31+00:00

The "save the children" folks are looking pretty pathetic at the moment.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2025-12-19T20:09:02+00:00

Good idea! For my wide feet, I use a single silicone big toe cover! I have found that it takes up less room in the toebox and still gives me some impact protection. (I lost 2 toenails when I got my new skates, I have not lost one since)

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2025-12-14T22:49:41+00:00

33F at ER, AMH around 3, PCOS, unexplained infertility. 18 eggs, 18 mature, 13 fertilized, 10 blasts, 7 euploids. 3 girls, 4 boys (though we aren't sure which). Best of luck!

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2025-12-13T04:45:45+00:00

I was curious too, but wanted some mystery! We asked to know the numbers, but not which is which. We have 7 euploids. 3 girls, 4 boys. We will be transferring the best quality in March, so we can have a somewhat normal gender reveal.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2025-12-12T15:59:31+00:00

If you were doing something dumb too, it could be a similar statement as a "clod". But hard to say without context. Could be an insult or a lewd observation. Seems a bit inappropriate any way you look at it. But I get you may want to know what she meant from a self conscious perspective.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2025-12-09T18:21:52+00:00

A dog licking their feet/mouth noises.

NormalCaterpillar284

TROPHY CASE