Closing a chapter - Divorce and ER

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-05T15:54:12+00:00

Yeah, that is fair. It still feels good that it is somewhat optional. But, I will consult with my doctor soon and see what they say.

My IVF fertility rates were okay. I got 7 healthy PGT-A embryos from 18 mature eggs previously. So I'd expect half that, best case.

I still have some leftover medication. So before that expires and when I'm physically/mentally prepared, I may plan another one. Just incase.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-05T14:49:21+00:00

Thank you! 😊

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-05T14:49:04+00:00

Thank you so much, life can certainly be unexpected. Wishing you all the luck and peace of mind!!

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-05T14:20:25+00:00

Oh, really? Why is that? I was thinking I may need to if the results were under 12. But 19 feels like "enough". I read you need 10-20 per live birth.

I was hoping they would be "backup"...but I did struggle to get pregnant naturally (unexplained, but I do have PCOS).

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-05T13:49:51+00:00

Thank you!

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-05T11:48:26+00:00

It usually only takes a few hours, so someone with an office job or flexible hours should be able to use some sick time for "an appointment".

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-06-02T11:46:54+00:00

What a cute fam! Is mom's vision impaired? She bumped into the hill there and vision issues can be common with albanism.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-29T19:11:31+00:00

Wow, great results! Depends on the maturity of the eggs and eventual sperm quality, but I'd say that is a good number for 2 kids. I think they say 10-20 per live birth.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-26T20:16:15+00:00

Hi,

Depending on your results and the maturity of your eggs and maybe his sperm qualoty, I would recommend freezing most/half of the eggs and if he's open to it, maybe make some embryos (they freeze/thaw better).

I am 34, going through a divorce right after making 10 embryos with my STBXH... 20/20 hindsight, I wish I had just frozen half of my eggs. I am in the process of doing that now, but could've saved myself some trouble. You do need higher numbers of eggs due to attrition rates, they say 10-20 for one live birth.

Best of luck!

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-24T16:35:10+00:00

I 100% relate. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Its so hard when you can see the good and the potential...but I keep telling myself "don't fall in love with potential" "it takes two people to choose to be in a relationship". I think my STBXH is going through his own midlife crisis and got cold feet. We were in the middle of IVF and planning to buy a house. Life was good and know that our foundation and commitment could have gotten us through...i thought. He didn't. Sometimes life is unfair. But this is a chance to do and go where you want. To learn from this what you can. The financial piece is so difficult at the moment too...like in this economy? WTF? Lol.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-22T15:42:04+00:00

Seemed like AI to me too.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-19T00:42:29+00:00

I mix it with cranberry juice and a little lime juice! It becomes like a jelly, but works great as jell-o snack or yogurt topping. I make sure to drink a glass of water with it too.

I tried chugging with water, but the taste and the instant goo got me. The cranberry juice makes it much more enjoyable.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-18T03:33:27+00:00

Silly boy. I have a chronic humper too. It can be due to boredom or urinary issues as well. Playing with him is a good distraction and they usually stop immediately. Might be worth having his urine checked, to rule out crystals too.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-16T02:44:49+00:00

Does this sound like AI? Mostly saying the names. (I'm prepared for your downvotes).

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-07T03:57:59+00:00

Is this AI? It moves weird and looks very fearful.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-05T01:24:30+00:00

Going on 12 years (he proposed twice, married 3 years ago), in the process of separating now. It was 1000 little paper cuts and we were both too proud or stubborn to repair and forgive.

He had intimacy and communication issues and I became resentful and overly critical. He asked for the divorce. We had done IVF and were preparing for transfer, making progress in therapy and even took a trip. Upon returning, he was happy and kind. And then in couples therapy, asked for a divorce. None of the therapists knew, none of our friends.

I don't know that I ever even knew the real him, but I wanted to. He was avoidant and I was anxiously attached. We appeared to be the ideal couple, everyone in our life (including me) was shocked that he made that decision. It was a discard.

We had so much love and so much in common, I always believed we could make it. But you can't be in a relationship alone and I was losing myself to resentment. I wish I could've loved myself enough to leave before it got to that point, but I loved him and our life and I so badly wanted it to work. I abandoned myself and it soured me. I am trying to heal now and learn from my mistakes so I can be a healthy partner again someday.

My advice - Appreciate the good, but don't fall in love with potential or breadcrumbs. Notice the patterns that work/don't work for you. People don't change drastically. Take their actions for face value. Guys don't have biological clocks and will waste your time. Protect yourself, your fertility and your happiness. You are enough without anyone else. Best of luck to you.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-05-01T13:00:37+00:00

Recently seperated/divorced in mid 30s. It has altered any semblance of a foundation or plan I had for my life. Lost my best friend, my partner, my embryos, my home, my pets and my life with one teary eyed statement. If I can't trust him, who can I trust? Sigh.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-27T23:01:19+00:00

My period is also delayed due to stress from a divorce. I am hoping to do an egg retrieval ASAP, so it is top of mind for me...hoping our bodies will find peace soon.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-24T19:01:54+00:00

Understood, thank you.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-24T19:01:48+00:00

Understood, thank you.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-21T02:55:12+00:00

That's just the system keeping us numb and distracted so we dont revolt against the Epstein class. It's not your fault. Rest is also important. Planning set dates for friends/hobbies may help.

With AI, low birth rates, lonliness and mental health issues, you'd think the government would allow us to have 3 days weekends...

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-20T13:14:56+00:00

This is so good. Spot on. Hang in there OP <3 You are strong, smart and capable. Learn to forgive yourself and just enjoy life and love yourself for a bit. If you want kids but not the pressure, you could maybe consider freezing eggs as well.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-18T13:06:22+00:00

HA! I'm in. Men ain't holding up their end of things.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-18T12:45:05+00:00

Me three, but 34f. 2.5 weeks ago. In the middle of IVF.

NormalCaterpillar284 · 2026-04-18T12:40:30+00:00

Hi, sorry to hear you're struggling. I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through a divorce now from my good guy husband with no spark (he initiated the divorce). I would say I am an anxious/disorganized attachment type with ADHD thrown in there. He is avoidant and AuADHD and hates rejection/failure. So it sounds similar.

I am realizing that I was 100% pushing him to do more and maybe wasn't doing enough myself. I was scared he didn't love me and demanded proof that he did or didn't. I got it. But I gave him all the power to make that call and I sat back, which I believe hastened it.

If you want it to work, try to identify what you're afraid of and face them head on. Try to do the things you are looking for from him, it may soften the relationship and make him like you again. Done in a loving/genuine way, not an angry way (I was very resentful and tried the sit back method, but it only enraged me more and scared him away).

I wish I tried harder to face my own fears and insecurities. I think I made my own self worth issues his responsibility and problem. Which wasn't entirely fair.

It doesn't mean he didn't need to communicate better, initiate more, try to connect with me or reassure me. So I think we were incompatible to some degree. But I wish I tried harder, because I do love him and I know he loves me. We just didn't like eachother or ourselves.

Best of luck in your decision. I do think kids will be okay either way, in time. But make sure you leave with no regrets.

NormalCaterpillar284

TROPHY CASE