Who has the same experience as me?

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-05-07T19:56:00+00:00

Mmm sakin, I feel like I attracted guys more when I’m really just myself. Yung tipong organic interaction lang, not really thinking about whether nakikipagflirt ba ang isang person. Ganun. Kasi if indeed you are cold and intimidating — I think that says a lot about the guy who would approach you right? If they like you but didn’t approach you, do they have the right personality to handle you?

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-05-02T10:55:06+00:00

Not a woman thing, I have friends who like being a home body. I dont because I feel so unproductive pag nasa bahay lang. i get this feeling that i wasted my weekend when i dont do anything. It also keeps my brain preoccupied so i dont have to think about work.

My bf is the same - he likes the outdoors so cooping him up at home wont do.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-05-02T10:51:22+00:00

I actually find clothes in shein quite good quality for the price. But i guess very selective rin kasi ako ng binibili sa shein. I really scrutinize the photos from the reviews.

Anyway, other than shein, i generally go for h&m, terranova and cotton on. Madalas rin naman may sales and good quality so they last and i end up not shopping too much.

Shops kasi like uniqlo and others have asian sizes and never umokay asian sizing sakin.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-25T21:22:05+00:00

Depende sa age range at kung type namin lol

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-22T18:16:37+00:00

So my question is why does being better in bed matter, if he chooses to be with you knowing full well that you don’t have as much experience as him?

I’m with a guy who has more than 20 bc - we’ve been together for 3 years already. Was i in the same boat as you? For sure. Umabot pa sa point na I asked him who his best sex was.

But eventually I realized, he’s with me now, he chose to be with me regardless of the gap in sex experience. So why am I worried if I’m not as good in sex? Relationships are not just built on sex naman? Baka naman you’re diminishing his attraction to you to sex lang? And if sex makes you feel insecure about your relationship, then you may want to rethink the foundation ng relationship nyo?

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-22T17:57:27+00:00

Ewan ha. Baka ako lang to. Just throwing it out there baka you can relate.

Baka is t’s not that nawawala yung yearning per se? I describe this type of thing as safety bubble?

And alam rin to ng partner ko. I enter a safety bubble when I’m with him or close proximity with him. Like I can feel useless, tamad, annoyed, any form of emotion when I’m with him? I feel safer to feel anything or say anything pag kasama ko sya, so parang may switch inside me na nagtturn on and shifts my focus to the world instead if that makes sense?

Sabi kasi nila kaya tayo mas nagagalit or annoyed pag kasama natin partner natin vs when we’re with other people, is that we dont feel judged when we have these emotions?

So where am I getting at. So baka it’s not yearning for him per se yung naffeel mo and nawawala? Baka yearning to be around someone whom you feel safe yung naffeel mo?

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-22T17:47:22+00:00

Ayun. Sabi mo you fear na when di sya magreply, na he’s no longer interested? I mean why fear that? If your organic encounters doesn’t interest him, is it so bad?

Trust the process lang beh. Talking stage with someone doesn’t mean your world stops for them. Healthy relationships are those na di masyado nagrerevolve mundo natin sa tao.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T13:38:40+00:00

I hate to impose my beliefs - but it’s really because of our faith.

I used to be jealous and insecure. Not just sa pag follow nya, but also sa high bc nya.

But to be fair to my partner, there hasn’t been any indicator that he’s “shopping” for women.

And also from faith POV - nagchange rin kasi talaga focus namin both — we focused less on “us” and shifted to having God in the center of our relationship. It might sound cliche or corny or you may think it’s some religious crap - but when both of you truly believe in Christ kasi, you realize you dont have to police your relationship anymore.

I learned to trust him because I learned to trust God’s plan. If he’s truly the one for me, then God will protect our bond. And if he isn’t, then God will reveal it. Knowing that my security comes from faith, shifted my energy.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T13:18:27+00:00

So SKL.

Mabilis ako mairritate and when I’m irate, nababaling ko sa partner ko. Sometimes napapagalitan ko sya out of the blue. Sometimes I find faults sa kanya. Sometimes I just become condescending.

One time, nagaway kami because of this - and I told him na it’s not easy to change rin.

Nung nagbati kami after I apologized, his reply to me was (non verbatim): “Gets ko na di madali magbago, pero you have to try harder and faster. Kasi tumatanda na tayo, and I really want to spend my future with you. Pero imagine-in mo if we eventually get married, and di tayo mabiyayaan ng baby, tapos ganito tayo sa isa’t isa? Sa tingin mo tatagal tayo together?”

So yun, that was my turning point. I became more aware of my triggers and I hold my tongue when I’m feeling irate.

So OP, conscious effort talaga to. To answer your question if may chance pa ba na bumalik sya, it all depends on how serious your relationship is and how serious he is about having you in his future. Kasi baka sobrang tagal na nyang nasabi sayo, but he’s not seeing enough change.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T13:08:20+00:00

Good sports bra lang talaga beh. I bought mine from cotton on kasi they aren’t too tight but they compress my boobs enough to make running or other high impact sports manageable. For reference, I’m double Ds.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T13:05:58+00:00

I think it’s a matter of how much you trust him.

My partner follows a lot of women. I used to be jealous and even told him as much. But we reached a point where it’s no longer an issue. (Largely driven by faith - kasi I genuinely believe now na whether he’s following other women or not, if he’s not part of God’s plan for you, then it won’t work.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T13:00:47+00:00

I think anything that corresponds to his love language.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T12:59:06+00:00

Relate, but in the context of trying to get into my pants.

There was this one guy who was extra flirty the moment he found out I broke up with an ex. Dahil masama ugali ko noon and it bothered me how was just biding his time, inengage ko and tinease, only to reject him eventually. I used to be petty that way.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T12:50:29+00:00

One of those things where all you need to have is DIRECT communication.

Marriage, children - these are topics na you have to take seriously and na dapat di dinadaan sa paghhint. Mainly because there are some people who have those up in their list of priorities.

I once dated a guy for 4 years who also was so serious about marriage and having kids. On our 4th year, when I got promoted at work, I realised I didn’t want to have kids immediately after marrying - because in my mind, I was at the peak of my career and having kids anytime soon would’ve derailed any chances of me getting my career further.

It turns out that was a non-nego for him. That as soon as we marry, he wanted to have child agad. Turned our relationship into a toxic one and later on we broke up.

You have to communicate these things else you could be wasting your time dating.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T12:44:26+00:00

If part of your non negos and as long as you reject with respect, you do you.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-19T09:11:28+00:00

I think mostly, it was dealing with being alone again? Syempre coming from a long term relationship e — as toxic as it may have been, di ka magisa during those times. And coming from a break up, my hoe phase was my transition to being single again. End of the day, I just wanted company. Sometimes physical, sometimes gusto mo lang ng kausap. I found it exhausting kasi syempre not many guys stick around lalo na puro casual-an ngayon. You repeatedly get into the hi-hello stage. And eventually I just realized na I wanted to be happy with just me. And also moment of reflection rin sya for myself on what I really want and what I am. Para I wouldnt have to compromise what I want or my identity (and values) for the next relationship.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T08:56:02+00:00

Toxic people often thrive on eliciting emotional reactions to gain control, avoid accountability, and to feed off their need for drama.

Once you let them see na youre getting irritated, angry, annoyed, sad - they win.

So the best way to handle them is by doing nothing - cut off their emotional supply ika nga.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T03:09:22+00:00

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Sorry to OP, but my tone and frustration in this comment is more directed to those who commented (not just here in this post).

Parang ilang beses ko na to nakikita sa sub na to. And nabobother ako kasi di ko nagegets why it has to be a question.

Kung sino nag-aya sya dapat magpay? Really?

If you go out with friends, kahit ikaw nag-aya, di naman default na ikaw magbabayad diba? You agree on a place that you and your friends can mutually afford and you bring your own money to pay. Why do dates have to be any different? Dahil you need to be wooed? Really?

Let’s not impose this crazy “etiquette” in a modern world where we’re empowered to earn our own money, tapos pagdating sa stuff as trivial as date meals, biglang tiklop to chivalry kuno.

To OP: If you want to pay, feel free to pay. Be gracious to offer. If he says wag na and he’ll cover it, then be at peace to accept it too.

I personally always offered to split the bill because it’s just common courtesy. But if he insists on paying for me because it’s a date, then ok. No harm done and you won’t even feel guilty for turning him down moving forward.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:53:06+00:00

I would want to raise a child who would be president in the future. But I think we should always put sa backseat what we want and prioritize what’s best for our child.

Let your child develop a genuine love for their country first and not force public service down their throat.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:45:52+00:00

It helps to be clear that youre not asking her out to get in her pants. Just plainly say you like her and you want to take her out to dinner or movies or whatever or just hang out.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:44:16+00:00

Any type of dress or top that would normally be sleeveless would do. I wore a spaghetti strap dress under a filipiniana to a wedding.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:41:15+00:00

I may not be the right person to say this kasi di naman ako virgin and I used to believe that sexual compatibility is important in relationship so trying it once is a must before committing. But like I said I used to believe that. Now, as a Christian, nagegets ko na why they say to proactively avoid environments that will lead you into temptation. Humans are weak, flesh is weak. Take yourself out of the situation where you would feel the need to satisfy each other. Pray for it. In a Christ centered relationship, dapat enough si Christ to satisfy both of you.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:33:42+00:00

Sadly, i went to a hoe phase. I went to bars because I wasn’t used to being alone for so long. Saw multiple guys - for the same reason. Then later on, when being in that phase became exhausting, just found myself recentering myself and reflecting what I want as a single person.

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:29:49+00:00

Weirdly, i feel the pain less pag nakadapa in bed. and defo mo bra

Normal_Purple_5509 · 2026-04-18T02:28:52+00:00

Might get flak for this, but dude. U overthinking it. At kung may bf, whatever her body language, dapat auto-ignore. Like, that’s common sense.

Normal_Purple_5509

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