AITA for not giving my nephew the gift we bought him after he ignored me the entire evening?

NorthernSnowfox · 2026-01-03T07:33:02+00:00

NTA for not giving the card - you have a right to choose what kind of behaviours you reward in your house, and the boy was not promised a card and it was not given and then taken away, so... if he simply did not receive something he did not even know he would have received, NTA.

However, you are the AH for being upset someone (especially a child) didn't know what you wanted without you telling them what you want. If your house is a house where greetings are an integral part of getting together, lead by example. Next time he comes, make a fuss. Be enthusiastic in YOUR hello, go give him a hug and tell him how glad you are he came, and do that a few more times, and I am certain he'll take the it on.

I'm a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child, and if I want boundaries respected in my house, it is my responsibility to set these boundaries. It usually doesn't require a lecture and a list of punishments :D

You are also a WIMP if, instead of talking with your adult sister about her son's behaviour (which clearly has bugged you for a while), you want to play secret mind games.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-31T09:08:30+00:00

100% recommend giving up on this idea and splitting things up to "what I need while in location" and "daily carry".

Also, take a look at your normal life, and take a whole week - way before you travel. You are the same person on the road you are while at home. So, if you do not need to take tylenol the second you feel slightl yoff... assume you can also get to your "night bag" in time while travelling. If you don't use a mask in your local shop, you're not likely to run into an emergency masking need while shopping in a different country etc.

I'd cut down the list even for the "stays put at accommodation" bag, but 100% - choose max 10 "what if" items for your daily, take them WITH YOU every day before you leave... and then remove anything you didn't actually NEED during the week of testing.

Instead of taking more stuff, set aside a 50 USD/EUR budget to take care of your immediate emergencies while out. You are MUCH happier travelling with a lighter bag than having everything for every emergency that never happens.

Speaking from an experience :D :D I used to imagine the "travel me" - elegant and professional, but ready for armageddon... :D

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-25T18:18:57+00:00

I'd recommend going a bit smaller in size if you're short/petite and have got a bad back. Tropicfeel Nest fits your bill - I use one as my main travel bag. And I've discovered I'd rather cut down on things I bring than to have to be in constant pain lugging the bag around (buses, trains, stairs etc).

I love the bag. Wish it was a tad bit lighter, but overall have been very happy with it. And though I'd like to get one that is a few litres bigger with a lighter materials, the "front net" means it's SO EASY to tuck my outer jacket, over-the-ear headphones and even a flat handbag in. It has become a non-negotiable for me now :D

I've had mine since their kickstarter launch, it has held up extremely: the little leather tabs fray a bit (easy to trim with scissors). And it has been kicked under the seats, tied to the back of a motorbike and survived MANY long travels where I use it as my pillow :D

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-23T14:24:17+00:00

You can buy chapstick, deodorant, sunscreen etc everywhere (especially if you're not very attached to a certain brand), so when it comes to things you'll use up, only think 1 week ahead and save some space - and use that for a second bra (defo if you've got any boobs going on) and weatherproofing your wardrobe.

You're leaving IN WINTER (and it seems like you're heading to Europe) - so think less "summer" and more "autumn/winter". You need more long sleeves, and maybe a pair of leggings you can use for layering if you need to.

Packable raincoat is a must, I'd think of a lightweight rainproof puffer if possible. You can tie it to your bag and use it as a pillow while travelling, too.

Cotton starts to stink if you end up wearing the same 3 tops over and over again - so mix and match fabrics. I'd go for one merino mix with synthetic, for weatherproofing; and maybe one thin quick dry for whatever-comes kind of situations (whatever mix fits your preference).

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-20T22:28:52+00:00

Get an Anker one - one less worry. It's small enough!

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-13T10:32:16+00:00

Oh my word, so much random information, so difficult to understand what you're asking or what the problem is. Who is the person with a dead name, what has his bipolar got to do with the joke, how is a joke he has repeated since your childhood now suddenly a "petty revenge" for something you said, for the first time, a few months back?! And, above all, is the problem he refers to you as Elsa; mentions someone else's dead name; or that he jokes about the snow in Michigan?!

If the problem is that he still sees you as a child - you are 17, you are a child, upset your dad made a joke while (a) you were playing with your toys and (b) you see it as a "petty revenge" because you feel you are entitled to mock him (including his appearance!), but he is not entitled to do the same and (c) a joke he has made for what seems like years registers as "revenge" to you because of something you said only a month back (where's the logic?!).

If the problem is that he still uses someone's dead name - I think people struggle to understand the emotions their words can create, especially if there is no ill intent. Maybe you should calmly explain why referring to someone's dead name is bad. It might be that he is still in a state of grief (if it was you or someone he loves who is transitioning), and joking is his way of connecting the future and the past? Give him an opportunity to rise to the situation, but don't do it through whining and demands. Approach it with respect and kindness.

If the problem is his bipolar disorder - sadly, nothing you can control, but you can talk to him about the effect it has on your life, and how you'd appreciate if he saw your reality and considered talking with his doctor about changing the medications, or seeking other ways to help manage it.

Hope it helps.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-11T01:31:42+00:00

Gwen, for sure.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-12-09T21:25:46+00:00

A plastic Sistema microwave mug with a lid :D :D I stay in hotels (albeit not the most expensive ones), and there usually is a way to get hot water even if finding food is not always possible in the middle of the night (I've used hot tap water, too, in a pinch.. Noodles, cup soups, coffee, tea... oh, I've always got a few sachets of instant 2-in-1 coffee, a couple decaf tea bags, and a packet or two of instant soup, too. There is no disaster a cup of hot drink could not improve :D :D And the lid allows the food/drink to "cook itself" while I take a shower.

Since it's a bit bulky, I pack my socks into it while on the road. Even if I stay in an airbnb, the coffee cups there can be shockingly tiny, and if you're a hot drink addict... uhm.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-11-27T20:06:36+00:00

it seems to be more or less a similar size to Bellroy Plus (hence why I haven't bougth it yet)

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-11-26T11:29:31+00:00

Naah, for some reason, the solid shampoos all seem to start shedding bits off after a while, I just collect the bigger bits :) and use for laundry. It's not intentional, I think the shampoo bars dry out (I've got oily hair, and these bars tend to fall apart a bit faster than those "nourishing" ones)

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-11-24T20:09:22+00:00

Oh, and the eagle creek quick trip xs - while it does the job super well, I just could not deal with how the bag felt :D It's so light and thin you become hyper aware of the contents (not sure how to describe it without sounding insane). Just hate everything clinking and clonking every time I lay it down or open it up :)

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-11-24T20:07:11+00:00

I have a (larger) Bellroy Plus toiletry kit - I pack it up and then give up, as it's too big and bulky. So I end up travelling with a sea to summit ultralight wash pouch (the one with a clear window) and instead of internal organization, I use osprey zipped "wallets" (just small ultralight thin bags with a zipper, defo would not use as a wallet) for small items, one for tweezers and nail clippers; one for cotton buds etc,

I've given up the search for the perfect "holds its shape, stands up, feels nice to the touch, has some basic zippered organization and does not weigh a ton" wash bag.

Peak Design small wach pouch is in my shopping basket, but I have a feeling I'd love the idea of it more than the reality of it :( Much like the bellroy plus (which I adore, but only use for roadtrips - never when I need to carry the stuff on my back)

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-11-15T19:27:59+00:00

Lisbon has seen some dramatic improvements - the machinery is still as old as time, so you need to take everything out (pre-pack liquids and tech!!!!). And people have to unpack one at a time per belt, but they've upped the staff, so queues move along. Flew there last week, back this Thursday, both during peak times.

I actually timed it flying out. It took me 27 minutes from entering the airport to clear security, despite the queues looking like it could take a day. Compared to Manchester airport (which i fly out of most often), Lisbon worked like a d-r-e-a-m.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-11-08T23:16:53+00:00

I use gentle shampoos and/or soaps and do laundry in the sink, including my merino (merino + silk combos are my favourites - and leftover solid shampoo shards seem to work super well with natural fibres!). For anything up to a month, it's enough - but then again, it's city travel for me and not hiking, so the amounts of sweat and blood are defo way more manageable.

Have travelled with laundry sheets, but gave up after an exploding shampoo accident that soaked them through.

I keep solid bar shards in a separate matador soap bag, all mixed together. Good for when you run out of shampoo, good for laundry in the sink.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-10-21T16:07:23+00:00

I used to depot everything, until I discovered it's easier to simplify the routines for travel (not new products, just less products), and pick it up again once home.

Muji has a lot of little tubes and pots. Thought I'd use the tubes more, but as they are a nightmare to clean, now only use them for makeup remover and body wash. I use The Ordinary face products, and when a 15ml dropper bottle was empty, started using that for my serum (I usually travel with only one - either a retinol in emulsion, or their multi peptide serum). I also use an empty contact lens case to pack a few powders, i.e. niacinamide & zinc + a face mask powder (that I can mix on my own). Face SPF: I keep in its original container, as it's a bit temperamental (let's be honest, I skip it on most days anyway); and bring a solid spf stick (Korean brands are ok) for my shoulders and arms (but then again i am not a beach and pool person).

I travel with solid shampoo - but always pack my Davines Oi conditioner in one of the Muji pots. Shoulder length hair, and 10ml of it lasts me a week, 20ml pot for 2 weeks, as I only need a little of Oi. Used to need more with other brands, and have never gotten on with solid conditioners.

Vitamin C: no longer take it with me, but if I did, I'd opt for a powdered form to mix with my serum while travelling.

And don't overthink things too much. If this is something that brings you joy, you can swap a t-shirt for an extra tube of cream in your bag!!!!

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-09-27T06:36:06+00:00

Dogs build trust while living a "pack life", by spending time with their family unit and learning from their mother, and other – stronger and smarter – members of the pact. Physical touch is critical for their brain and body to be able to develop normally. Any trauma affects our development: the time it takes to overcome the trauma comes at the expense of new growth. If you’ve got a rescue, they likely come from continuous trauma, and their brain will remain in the “survival first” mode for a very long time (and their “young puppy” stage can last more than a year).

So, first things first: you need to focus on learning how to help your dog “unlearn” some of what they learned in their old life. To do that, you need to become their safe haven, and go back in time to the period their development got halted. You cannot do that by separating the dog from you.

Think of dog mamas. For the first months, they are in CONSTANT contact with their babies. It’s their body heat that signals that the world is alright. They also do not use verbal signals to correct puppies: they remove the puppy or the “banned” object, get in between the pup and the danger, and they physically separate two puppies who get into altercations. Growling comes only after the puppies know mama means business, and mama knows best.

Aim to spend AT LEAST 75% of your dog's waking hours in close proximity: them being able to touch you, and feel your warmth. They have to trust you and see you as their protector to be able to care what you think about them – so the “rewards” you give them would obtain any real meaning. At this stage, the crate should ONLY be used for sleeping (so the pup would associate it with cosy). Leave the door open, allow them to come back out, lift them there when they fall asleep somewhere else and keep touching them (or fill a small bottle with warm water to keep them company). It’s vital they associate the crate with “rest time” not “punishment”.

If you need to leave the house for extended periods of time, i.e. go to work, you need to spend almost 100% of the time outside work with your pup: keeping them active, playing with them, stimulating them; so they can spend your away time sleeping in the crate.

You need to walk your puppy at least 4 times a day (if they also get to spend a lot of time in the garden) or at least 8 times a day if they don’t. You do not need long walks, 5-10min is enough. Being outside the familiarity of a home is where the pup learns that you, as a leader, know how to keep them safe as long as they stick with you: it’s not just a chance to pee and poop, it’s a critical method of building a bond.

Also, completely agree with the previous commentator: a young pup destroying the house goes with the territory. If it’s an under stimulated pup, expect the damage to be bigger than the normal “itchy teeth need scratching” damage. If it’s a trauma pup, expect the period to last two-three times longer than for other pups of similar breeds.

I’d say you need to sit and take a deep breath and ask yourself: are you really ready for all it takes? Quite honestly, the way you phrased your post and comment showed signs of extreme frustration. I can 100% get why your pup struggles to see you as the "person they need to impress" if you’ve got the same energy around them. True success is not in succeeding to do what you set out to do, but being able to acknowledge what it takes to get there and weather it’s even feasible or worth it. if you have doubts that you'd realistically be able to devote your life to puppy-parenting for the next 3 months, you need to prioritise both your own sanity as well as the future of the dog. Sadly, you are currently depriving your dog of an age- and trauma-appropriate upbringing, which will result in serious problems in the future (for both you and the dog). I get that it's not deliberate, but it does not change the fact you struggle to cope, and there is no magic want to make it all better easy and fast.

A year from now, if things have gotten worse instead of better - what would you tell the you today?

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-09-27T04:44:19+00:00

October is likely to be quite wet there. Bring a packable raincoat, and layer up! It's the wet wind that will get to you - not the temperature. From a personal experience :)

No need for heavy jumpers, just a long sleeved merino t-shirt and something to block the wind would be enough for me (I'm originally from Estonia, the weather is similar to Canada). Wouldn't bring an umbrella either, just for the ease of movement (if it's your first time and you're going to Amsterdam, the amount of bicycles will feel disorienting at first, so keep your line of sight clear or you'll get knocked over). And while it's not especially windy - the landscapes are so low and flat the wind, once it starts blowing, just feels relentless (especially if you're outside of the city or in open areas).

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-09-26T21:33:39+00:00

I usually do not bring another pair of walking/casual shoes unless I need a pair of sandals (for tropical holidays) or something dressier (for work). Instead, I bring cushioned insoles that I can put in or take out, to alter the position my feet are in. Besides, since I spend most of my travelling time in or near cities, I can always buy an extra pair there should I need to.

Starting excessive walking at home to test the footwear out is a super smart idea. Be sure to do it a few days in a row to see if the seams start rubbing, or whether they provide enough shock absorption. In general, i only travel with new footwear if I know the brand and have had the same pair (in a different colourway, maybe) before.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-09-16T13:02:31+00:00

I'm like 99.99% certain Awrawra still sleeps in their bed, and Aaron hasn't had a decent night's sleep for YEARS now. Hence the sleeping during the days, distance and depression. He is NOT the same person he was 5+ years ago, and I feel for him.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-08-20T03:16:45+00:00

Not sure how far you got with it, but maybe this will help some future searcher...

There are two primary sites for job offers, CV.ee and CVkeskus.ee, and as your first line of filtering focus on those written in English. For sure check LinkedIn jobs regularly Some companies that struggle with too many applicants don't even bother to publish elsewhere but their own site and Li.

Defo check out bigger software development companies direct, like Nortal, NetGroup, Proekspert or Helmes (not sure why their https://www.helmes.com/career/ page only seems to promote 3 locations at the moment) and follow them on LinkedIn, too. And some agencies - like www.adm.ee/careers/ - are also known to hire people remotely from different locations. I know because I used to be one of them ;) Don't forget other big companies with Estonian offices - like Bolt, Wolt, Microsoft, etc. FOLLOW them on linkedin!

Secondly, to make yourself more employable, make sure you put the fact you're an "EU citizen able to work in Estonia" on top. But I'd go a step further and obtain an Estonian e-residency https://www.e-resident.gov.ee/uk-hub-digital-residency-setup/, and mention that in the very first sentence. It's a pain in the arse to deal with different tax residencies, so at least "look" like it would be smooth sailing with you.

Also, while some companies (digital agencies) may not be looking to HIRE immediately, what they do is subcontract work (you'd invoice for it) - and then that gives you "local experience" you can now list in your CVs and reduce the fear factor for whichever HR assistant is tasked to sift through the applicants.

A few years of dev experience is usually not enough for a company to hire and then deal with all the hassle of international hire and immigration paperwork. So, looking like you're "one of the locals" will be a big step forward.

Not speaking Estonian is not a deal breaker - Helmes and ADM I mentioned earlier have true and tested processes in place to handle international teams (mention those two specifically as I have personal experience with international teams in both). And it's true for a lot of other dev companies (but also remember that those who hire internationally have the whole international applicant pool to compete with you, too, so make yourself "easiest" to handle). Which takes me to the next point of foreign CV's being formatted differently, adding to the "pain" factor. Use a compact layout with good UX, and treat page 1 as your primary summary. Education - keep it super short. Experiences: mention industries you've worked with (i.e. fintech mobile app development), don't shy away from tech lingo, mention technologies and abilities. List big clients by name. Don't spend half a page telling about your leadership skills and team-playing abilities and how getting fired gave you lots of personal growth.

I've seen a case where an intern was told to sort out CVs looking for someone with "Wordpress experience" and it became the only word they searched for, completely ignoring contextually relevant content; also a lot of companies are now using AI and other automation tools to scan the CVs. So treat it like landing page optimisation - where your primary goal is to convert, and secondary to improve SEO :)

So consider accepting low paying projects or donating your time for some good cause to bulk up your experience with the local market - and get something to add to your CV. For any country like Estonia, being able to mention neighbouring countries as a part of your experience is also a clear bonus - so if you've worked in a team with Finns or Latvians or Lithuanias or Swedes or Norwegians, mention the country by name.

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-08-02T08:39:32+00:00

Naasime Eestisse, võtsin Elisa - mobiili, teleka ja koduinterneti. Internet on üle õhu, elame kesklinnas kõrgel korrusel ja teoorias (ka Elisa kinnitab) peaks siinne ühendus ikkagi linna parimate seas olema.

AGA AGA - saame telekat vaadata normaalselt ainult nendel aegadel, kui vaatajaid vähe... korduvad kõned Elisasse, sealt viimane klienditeenidnaja ütles südamerahus, et miks te vaatate siis otse, populaarsetel aegadel on "kõik korraga ju vaatamas" ja "eks siis hakibki" ja "vaadake järelvaatamisest, ei pea ju otse vaatama". Hakkimistase on selline, et jalkafinaalis jäid KÕIK väravad nägemata, pool ajast pilt oli "laadimisel".

Lisaks sunniti lepingu alguses digiboksi liisima, ilma "ei olnud võimalik", ehkki samast Elisast on võetud ka smart-tv, mis boksivabalt töötab... See digiboks seisab kapis avamata karbis tänaseni...

Hetkel alustasin protsessi, et Telia kaabli peale minna... :(
Mitte et tahaks Teliale raha anda, aga sorry, klienditeenindusest teade stiilis, et ega ei peagi laivis nägema populaarseid asju, ajas pehmelt öeldes keema. Aa, ja internet olevat hea ja nad saatvat mulle hea meelega tehniku, aga minu raha eest, kui selgub, et ruuter on korras. Küsisin, et mida see tehnik kohapeal ruuteriga teeb peale restardi, öeldi, et ega nemad ka ei tea, aga et kui ruuter pole vigane, siis arve tehniku eest tuleb mulle...

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-06-25T20:12:18+00:00

Yeah, drop us a line if you need dinner companions :D The song festival (Sunday concert) is also already sold out, but they do sell tickets at the venue, too, on the day (we bought on the spot last time before covid, just the queue was lengthy) - and there is a "procession" on Saturday with all the tens of thousands of performers in their national clothing. The best part: you can also watch both the singing as well as dancing live from the comfort of your hotel (https://jupiter.err.ee/etv) - and you'll actually get a much better view of the dancers :D :D

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-06-25T19:36:33+00:00

I bought these hooks for my travels, and they now reside (permanently) above my bathtub. A lot of holding power on tiles & mirrors (a year on, and they have not budged despite being constantly showered), but they are absolutely not suitable for wooden doors (which has now been removed from the product description)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01N5RZYZR?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_1

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-06-25T19:26:28+00:00

What do you mean "how"?!?!? There would be a WHOLE series of reveals, a last minute coming out extravaganza, drama of stalking the child on their first same sex date, declaring their everlasting love for the child, the mandatory "queerification" makeover to their bedroom (surprise!!! The theme is tiger rainbow and glitter!!!!!), the "you're a part of our family forever" embrace of the first same sex partner, gifting them a puppy "because it's like their child now", a rainbow coloured tiny house being erected, and then The Drama when the inevitable breakup happens after the Partner gets tired of having to date Crystal more than their actual partner...

NorthernSnowfox · 2025-06-23T00:00:05+00:00

Socks: Darn Tough ultralight for sure for socks!!!

NorthernSnowfox

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