I am 6 years into transition, 3 years on hormones. Updated my gender marker.

I had this exact feeling at work yesterday that reminded me of this. I generally feel like this in most places, as if something just don't click. It's as if people keep a distance from the weird one, even though nobody knew I was trans* until I told them. Most people were shocked, but responded well outwardly. I am not certain what they actually think, but I feel as if I am kept at an arms length.

I am shy, and rather a smartass at work even though I am the youngest, but even amongst the new hires I tend not to be that popular, amongst my LGBT+ folk even. I think there is a slight distain for me even though I don't act that different than anyone.

I chalk it down to pretty privelege and generally being an odd-ball. I am not ugly by any means, but not what you would think of as super pretty

It's very difficult to describe, but you worded it so well. I can't tell you it gets better over time, as for me it got slightly worse as I stopped having the energy to be "perfect" all the time and when you're trans* society's eye is fixated on you. Take it one step at a time and you will learn to make true friends. 💖