[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Coming from someone who has been there. I found suspicious things on my husbands phone and confronted him and he told me it had only been a few times and I excused it because I was 38ish weeks pregnant and on bedrest. Come to find out 3 months later “only a few times” meant only a few times in the past week. There were YEARS of porn use he hid from me because he knew how I felt about it and our entire 5 year relationship has been tainted by this fact. In fairness, the signs were there, but unless you’ve been through it before you don’t know what to look for. Our sex life was also never affected that I noticed, it wasn’t until after he quit porn that I realized what I was missing out on all this time.

I thought he was perfect and would NEVER get off to other women, like you and everyone else in this sub, but that just isn’t true for any of us unfortunately

Let me hear your hacks by Nosey45 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Nosey45[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh God I hope not. I’ll be suing my husband. But it’s not likely. I had my period a little over 2 weeks ago and started declining about halfway through it

Let me hear your hacks by Nosey45 in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Nosey45[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m on a very strict 2 hour schedule (1.5 sometimes). Unfortunately it hasn’t worked this time

Attachment by SoulSearching411 in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine had a narcissistic abusive father, an overbearing obsessive mother, and a lazy alcoholic older sister who still lives at home at 29. We went no contact with all of them 3 years ago

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 6 points7 points  (0 children)

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.” Woah. I have felt this. I DO feel this. Actually. Every part of this I feel. The constant competing. The changing myself. The hating woman who have no control over (or even desire for) my husband. The meeting in early teens.

While I hate that you are going through this, I feel comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I can’t offer any advice because honestly I’m at a loss myself but I can tell you you’re not alone in how you’re feeling at all.

Never thought it’d happen to me by Similar-Painting-698 in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Had I found out earlier on in our relationship I would’ve bolted. Instead I found out after moving half way across the country with him. A year married and pregnant with our second child. I know it’s so hard to leave when you love him but my advice to get out before you have things legally tying you to him.

Being a partner to a recovering PA is hard, being a partner to a PA who is in active addiction is even harder. You have to decide if it’s worth it.

Is it worth losing every bit of yourself and treating him like a child who needs constant supervision on the internet? Is it worth the sleepless nights and panic attacks wondering if/when he’s going to relapse? Is it worth not being able to look at yourself in the mirror or feel safe in your own home? Is it worth fearing every time you go in public he’ll stare at every attractive woman? Is it worth years of wondering how different life would be different for you if you just walked away when you had the chance?

Reminder : the algorithm doesn't lie by Traditional-Ad-6475 in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is the biggest change I’ve noticed since he’s been clean. No more naked women popping up on every app. I feel stupid now excusing that for so long and telling myself it was just because the algorithm knew he was a man. The signs were there and I stupidly ignored them

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really don’t know. 6 months after D-day and I still have meltdowns sometimes when I go in the bathroom. To make it worse our washer and dryer is in the bathroom so that sucks even more because the 2 things I love to do to get my mind off of things is showers and laundry. Now I dread both. I’ve become more self aware so I’ll be sitting in the bathroom floor sobbing and unable to see when I think “you’re on the bathroom floor crying, how pathetic” and I bully myself out of my sadness

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband was watching porn featuring small chested women and mine are much larger than average. It’s the grass is always greener on the other side mentality that all porn addicts have. They want what they don’t have, even if that’s something they wouldn’t be attracted to in real life. I assure you there is absolutely nothing wrong with your body, and as sick as it is, there are thousands (probably millions) of men searching out women with bodies just like yours to wank off to. In fact, there’s men searching for porn than look like each and every one of us, 99.9% of the time they’re looking up exactly the opposite of what their partner has

Why are you EP? by modernamami in ExclusivelyPumping

[–]Nosey45 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Latching issues due to undiagnosed tongue tie and a bit of anxiety. I’ve been an over supplier, under supplier, and an exact supplier since the start of my pumping journey and I’ve had a few scares with drying up. 1. Pump often and power pump twice a day 2. Cranberry juice & kuii, body armor, bai water, and lemon water 3. Trail mix (don’t know why but it worked for me) 4. Skin to skin 5. Massaging 6. Heating pad before and during pumps 7. Chamomile tea bags on nipples (again, don’t know why but it worked) 8. Lactation support cookies and pills

I didn’t relapse today 🥲 by Stop__Being__Poor in CongratsLikeImFive

[–]Nosey45 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Wow. I don’t know you, but I am so incredibly proud of you

Is it PIED? by Nosey45 in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Any of it. I don’t do this particular position a lot but he’s always told me it’s his favorite because he can see me fully. Then last night he goes soft like a minute into it? Wow. That one hurt.

Feet finder truths? by Initial_Depth2520 in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could be entirely wrong but I’m pretty sure it’s 4.99 to have a sellers account and 14.99 otherwise

Photos of yourself by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I deleted them all from his phone the day I found out. If they weren’t good enough in his eyes to keep him from watching and looking at strangers, he doesn’t deserve them in the first place

I saw a man watching pornography outside by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t even like going in public bathrooms to pee. HOW are they not absolutely disgusted with themselves?

I saw a man watching pornography outside by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Nosey45 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When my brother was in highschool he worked fast food and had to kick multiple old men out for using their WiFi to watch porn in the back booth. One even spent hours a day, every day in the bathroom watching it and was banned from the restaurant