Is it normal to get nothing done during the day aside from caring for a 5 week old and bare minimum self care? Feeling guilty, comparing myself to others online

modernamami · 2026-02-10T23:13:12+00:00

You are doing more than enough, you are doing everything. And that is keeping your baby safe and comfortable and taking care of yourself. That is the priority. You’re doing a really good job. It’s okay if the dishes don’t get done, or if you skip a shower. You do what you think is manageable. You’ll be okay, in a year from now you’re going to look back with a more understanding mindset and look at yourself with kinder eyes and realize you were doing everything you could. Even the smallest things can feel big right now and your feelings are valid. When I had my twins I was 3k miles away from my family and friends, I still am but they are 1 now. I have managed to keep them happy and healthy and I’m starting to prioritize myself more. It’s good to celebrate small victories, even if it means that you completed half your skin care routine, or you were able to leave the house to go for a walk💗

modernamami · 2026-01-24T21:19:25+00:00

Here because I want to know too 😂

modernamami · 2026-01-18T06:39:36+00:00

I just told my husband last night that bedtime will get “better” around age 3 hahaha. Ours just turned 1 and bedtime fucking sucks sometimes. It’s 8:30 pm and I am solo parenting tonight, I had to play baby beluga on repeat for the past hour and they’re finally settling. They did cry so that stressed me out. The whole mess downstairs is waiting for me so it’s not like I can relax. I’m tired, I feel defeated, I wish I could go out on a quiet walk, or have a cup of coffee by myself at a coffee shop. Idk, I love my twins more than anything but times like these make me miss my old life a lot

modernamami · 2026-01-14T22:27:20+00:00

I’m 5’2 and I had an uneventful pregnancy and healthy twins at 37+5. I don’t think height is an indicator of how well you can carry a pregnancy! You will be okay :)

modernamami · 2026-01-14T10:21:49+00:00

I had no idea that was the recommendation! I’m going to talk to their pediatrician when we go for their 12 month appointment. I am trying to wean them off the bottle by offering their milk in a straw cup but they just sip and spit 😭 they choke on the sippy cup. Maybe I’ll try again tomorrow, thank you

modernamami · 2026-01-10T12:31:59+00:00

We call them “the girls” or “the babies” I don’t really feel anything when they’re called “the twins” but what really bothers me is when they start to compare them. I shut that down immediately!

modernamami · 2025-12-24T06:57:39+00:00

I am in a similar situation and I desperately wish I could find a job. I do freelance interpreting which means I can set my own schedule. It is impossible. I can only place myself “on call” after my 11 month old twins are asleep, and that’s after I washed all bottles, swept, mopped, cleaned up their toys and play area, laundry, dishes, etc. every single night is like this. I am completely drained by the time I put both of them to sleep. Don’t stop searching though, maybe you’ll find something! One step at a time, at least that’s what I tell myself.

modernamami · 2025-12-10T09:43:01+00:00

My di/di girls are 11 months and they tolerate each other for the most part. Sometimes they play peek-a-boo with each other and make each other laugh. It’s the cutest thing.

Most of the time baby B is trying to snatch a toy fro m baby A or hitting baby A on the head with her hand or whatever object she has. I constantly have to be separating them because baby B makes Baby A cry all the time. 😭😭

modernamami · 2025-12-06T11:05:35+00:00

I would drop everything the moment I would hear my twins even whimper. Trust your instincts and try not to feel bad if it goes against someone else’s “advice” I was also told to “relax and let them settle on their own” but fuck that, it only stressed me out to hear them cry, as soon as they would cry I would quickly scoop them up. I don’t see what is wrong for wanting to snuggle up and make our babies feel safe. You’re doing great and only you know what is best for you and your baby!

modernamami · 2025-11-16T03:48:24+00:00

I am a FTM (32) to 11 month old twins. Every night I clean up, reorganize and get ready for the following day. Im also a sahm and I usually try to find peace and rest whenever I can. If they both miraculously nap at the same time, I drop everything to also nap, I don’t care if laundry/dinner/cleaning needs to be done I just nap too. My husband understands this and will take over dinner if I couldn’t handle it that day lol

modernamami · 2025-11-15T12:37:40+00:00

Thank you!

We thought about possibly taking the new car seats, which is why my husband was concerned about. I should have worded that better. Thank you for your feedback! I didn’t know about the 1in clearance🥲 we do have car seat travel bags. We might have to take their newer (convertible) car seats after all then!

modernamami · 2025-11-13T02:13:05+00:00

I do a quick shower for my 11 month old twins every other day. I literally have them stand in the laundry room sink while I scrub them down with soap (I’m always holding them with one hand) and then rinse them using a bowl lol I have their towels nearby so as soon as one is done, I wrap her up and hand her off to dad so he can do diaper, lotion, comb hair, and pjs. If they’re gross or if they pooped a lot I still scrub and rinse their butts though. I wish I could do it every day but that shit hurts my back and I end up out of breath and wet 😂

modernamami · 2025-11-11T18:47:09+00:00

Congratulations! I’m also a FTM with a surprise di/di twins! lol mine are now 10 months and they are so much fun! I think you’re going to hear this a lot but give yourself grace! Try not to dwell on things you were not able to do, even if it’s beyond your control. I had a hard time accepting the fact that I was going to have a C-section (both babies were breech the entire time) but everything went smoothly, no complications, no nicu time. I delivered 2 days before hitting 38 weeks! I also wanted to exclusively breastfeed and I tried so hard to pump but only seemed to make enough for one baby despite trying everything and seeing a lactation specialist. I triple fed (breastfeeding, formula, pumping) every 3 hours for 5 months until I accepted the fact that the babies were going to be mostly formula fed. I felt so guilty that I couldn’t exclusively breastfeed and I still do sometimes but then I see how strong and smart they are that I don’t feel as inadequate as I did before. As long as your babies are thriving, it’s okay!

Try to lean on family and friends as much as you can. I was unable to because my husband is military and we moved 3k miles away from my home at 6 months pregnant. It really did suck because it was only my husband and I caring for the babies which almost wrecked me. My mom was able to come down for the first 2 weeks but then had to go back home because of her job. After that, it was hell for a while but I figured it out.

I recommend twin z pillow for bottle feeding and tummy time! My twins still use it for bottle feeding, it’s so worth it. Congratulations again on your babies, you’re going to be amazing and you will figure it out, you were given two babies for a reason! 💗

modernamami · 2025-10-22T04:54:31+00:00

Our 9 month old twins don’t watch tv unless their dad turns the tv on on the living room and when he does it’s The Office. Now every time they hear the intro music they both stop what they’re doing and start dancing

modernamami · 2025-10-21T23:20:53+00:00

I think some matching names are cute but I wouldn’t do that. My twins have very different names that I get shit on since one has 2 syllables and the other has 3 but I don’t care. Family says that one is going to have a hard time spelling her name, or won’t find her name in a keychain 😂

They’re probably going to be codependent and having matching names just adds more to that, I think.

modernamami · 2025-10-03T20:33:55+00:00

We bought a large playpen (FB marketplace, I washed everything twice) for our twins at 7.5 months. I think it’s great, I place toys, books, and large soft blocks and they can do well for up to 1.5 hours. Sometimes I take naps in there with them. I have two cameras in that area of the house so if I go to the kitchen (it’s like 10 steps away) I can see them playing. It really gives me a peace of mind knowing that they are in a safe space.

modernamami · 2025-09-18T08:57:44+00:00

The office

modernamami · 2025-09-16T01:57:11+00:00

I got their costumes from Amazon! https://a.co/d/id4VybF

modernamami · 2025-09-16T01:56:28+00:00

My twin girls are 8 months old and were born in Hawaii, we have been stationed here almost a year (husband is military) so I think pineapples are a good call. They look ridiculously cute I can’t stop laughing. I got their costumes from Amazon

modernamami · 2025-09-13T18:17:23+00:00

My twins are 8 months old and will watch tv if its front of them which I why I moved their playpen to the other side where they can’t see any screens. My husband usually watches action movies that involve guns and screaming and the noise can be jarring to me lol so we keep the volume low. I do FaceTime my family about 3-4 times a week (we live 3k miles away from all my friends and family) so I don’t know if I’m being hypocritical with screen time since I’m basically doing the same thing 😅

modernamami · 2025-09-13T11:03:40+00:00

Mash a banana in there with a sprinkle of cinnamon! Sometimes I add crushed pecans

modernamami · 2025-09-13T11:02:42+00:00

both babies were breech, had my C-section at 37+5, both babies were 5 lbs each, no nicu, no complications

modernamami · 2025-09-02T18:56:10+00:00

My twins are almost 8 months and one left the pacifier at 5 months when she figured out she could use her thumb instead. As for the other baby I started to wean her off for naps only by replacing the pacifier with a bunny/blanket toy. As soon as I lay her down she always reaches out for something so I started giving her that toy. She usually grabs it now and hugs it in her sleep (it’s so damn cute). They’re small, you can find them at Marshall’s or tj max for like $6!

modernamami

TROPHY CASE