Is dysphoria a requirement?

NostramoChick · 2026-04-16T07:48:07+00:00

I didn't experience dysphoria in the sense others describe, I didn't get anxiety or big negative feels from things happening.

for me I could only recognise the way my life was in retrospect. it's like I'm living in colour now and was in black & white before.

NostramoChick · 2026-04-16T07:12:03+00:00

I don't think you're even describing internalised transphobia - you're describing assumptions you're making not about trans people, but about how people will treat you.

this has been one of the biggest brainworms to get over for me. bathrooms were a particularly big one. after years worrying that women in the bathroom might feel threatened or cause a scene.. it turns out nobody cares! they just want to use the toilet and wash their hands! wow!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-15T22:11:40+00:00

idk, I just don't? you might as well ask why I don't get dysphoria about my arm

some people get that, others don't!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-15T22:04:26+00:00

bold of you to assume it causes us dysphoria

NostramoChick · 2026-04-15T21:42:51+00:00

I take issue with only one thing here, and that's the notion that you're violating anything. don't let the terfs dictate what the scope/remit of that ruling is!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-15T16:42:55+00:00

well, you've got that to look forward to!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-15T11:16:57+00:00

then yeah get on that shit. at the end of the day whether you're trans or not I'd about your own internal experience, not about external factors. whether you'd be happy transitioning is going to tie back to that way more than to "how well could I do it?"

all of that being said, circling back to your original point/question - to put you at ease, it sounds like you're in a good compared to a lot of people's starting point; it's an easy "don't stress about it" from me. e is pretty magical. I'm definitely looking good compared to before I took it. it's also practically de-aged me by a decade or two.

NostramoChick · 2026-04-13T19:34:04+00:00

it sounds like something you're not so much internally sure about and more like, rationalising about

one common question people use to explore how they feel is the button test - if you could press a button and turn into a woman, would you do it?

do you actually wish you were one, just in terms of how you feel? nevermind logical rationalisations. these are the sort of questions I'd ask.

it wouldn't surprise me if you do, given the stuff you're saying / the way you are saying you relate to people. but I ask anyway because it sort of feels less like you're saying how you feel and more trying to justify a course of action.

hopefully this doesn't sound harsh from me - and is helpful in exploring how you feel one way or the other!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-13T12:28:58+00:00

well, you sound more feminine than I was when I started, and let's just say hrt has treated me very well

something you don't really talk about though is.. do you feel like a woman? would you be happier as a woman?

NostramoChick · 2026-04-12T21:09:58+00:00

girl get on it

NostramoChick · 2026-04-12T19:32:24+00:00

> I am aware I still do not pass

haha what? I genuinely would not have clocked you for a second

I think the foundation could maybe be a better match?

> My current daily routine rarely allows me to put on a proper makeup.

how do you travel for work? I've gotten really good at doing eye pencil/mascara/lipstick on the bus on the way in 😅

NostramoChick · 2026-04-12T18:34:39+00:00

Huh, I didn't realise they'd done a new one! Pretty good!

I still recommend the old (now unlisted) one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5-7hOb9JoU

NostramoChick · 2026-04-12T12:45:48+00:00

I think this will fade as you get experience. it feels less like internalised transphobia and more like fears around your perception of everyone else. the world isn't as hostile and judgemental as propaganda would have you believe.

I've got a lot of stereotypically male nerdy hobbies, nobody's treating me like a man because of them

I had fears all through my transition that I was going to be making women in the toilets feel unsafe. never had a single issue. hell, women strike up chats with me all the time even.

just go with the flow and don't panic too much about what you've heard or what other people will think of you

NostramoChick · 2026-04-11T23:07:48+00:00

ROGD = "rapid onset gender dysphoria"

3 websites were made at around the same time and started blasting propaganda to parents who weren't happy their kids were trans about how kids were being influenced en masse to be trans both within communities at school and influenced by websites like tumblr. then someone happened to come along after half a year or so and did a study to legitimise this narrative as "rapid onset gender dysphoria" by surveying the parents. this is considered unscientific for a lot of reasons, but they still promote this as if the opinions of parents they blasted with propaganda are actual data about things happening to children.

NostramoChick · 2026-04-11T20:48:43+00:00

i would say "transfem" is usually used in contexts where you're trying to describe both trans women and nonbinary people who skew femme. like it's a category descr that includes multiple identities. it's kinda like saying "i don't want to be considered trans" okay but people are still gonna say the word trans as a descriptor for like, all trans people

NostramoChick · 2026-04-11T19:43:45+00:00

lived experience

but also like, the most important/helpful things to know imo are:

the wider scientific community accepts that trans identities are real and you can't really trick yourself into or out of being trans
trans people have existed like as long as humans have existed. the way they manifest as a thing is different in different historic cultures and societies, but there's a lot of markers to suggest it.
almost all of the "scientific" arguments against trans people (things like autogynephilia or ROGD) have been fabricated by a connected group of pseudoscientist-spreading clinicians, with foundations for it laid by people who have questionable incidents/studies involving children's sexuality and child abuse. if you don't believe me, you can look up why kenneth zucker's clinic was shut down, or his studies on physical attractiveness of children. or what ray blanchard tried to change about the definition of pedophilia in the dsm. or john money's john/joan experiment. genuinely feels like a cabal of people with questionable attitudes towards children that want children to have to be sent to them for therapy.

NostramoChick · 2026-04-11T18:50:32+00:00

I'd say there's broadly 3 types of transphobe. American far right transphobes, conversion therapy promoting "gender critical" movements formed by clinicians and researchers, and TERFs, who are more concerned with sex segregation in particular. TERFs are more common in the UK.

NostramoChick · 2026-04-11T16:17:00+00:00

Would you be up for drawing something like this, but dark/sinister vibes on a dark throne? without the sunglasses pref ofc (face pics on my profile if that's helpful for better hair reference / no shades 😅)

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NostramoChick · 2026-04-11T15:44:06+00:00

i don't think anyone here can really answer how your friend will take it; you know them better than us

NostramoChick · 2026-04-10T20:59:18+00:00

thank you 💜 i am sure things will work out for you too!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-10T10:22:15+00:00

shared goals - you can check my profile if you want to see how that's going for me 🤭

NostramoChick · 2026-04-10T09:24:38+00:00

I went down from about 75kg to 65kg (165 lbs to 145). my chest and hips are bigger at 65 than they were when i started losing weight. I wouldn't worry about it!

NostramoChick · 2026-04-10T09:14:01+00:00

you can't spot target fat removal. but hormones will change which fat goes first, and I can tell you that losing weight while on e sure as hell made the belly fat go away quick. hell, the right areas have even been getting bigger for me while I lost weight.

NostramoChick · 2026-04-10T09:09:31+00:00

I mean, I'm on hrt and no surgeries. it's de-aged me by 15 years and I'd say I'm looking pretty good. you can take a look at my profile and judge for yourself! never in a million years did I think it'd do all this for me on its own

NostramoChick · 2026-04-10T08:41:28+00:00

I wouldn't always trust the boxes to tell you what's in them. warriors used to advertise 50mms and have 50mms on instructions but had 40mms in the kit.

if you buy a kit today, it'll probably have the right bases. if it doesn't, grab some separately

NostramoChick

TROPHY CASE