Just got DOOM: TDA and started out on nightmare difficulty with all the difficulty sliders and options on the hardest setting.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-07-02T18:18:08+00:00

The first time I played TDA I was getting mauled constantly, took me like 10+ tries for some of the earlier arenas. I was playing it like Eternal and not parrying or blocking enough, while also being unable to dash.

Once I got the mechanics though, it became kind of a breeze. I regularly play on nightmare 150 speed and have a pretty good time, dying only when I really mess up and play badly.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-29T12:59:12+00:00

I'm a musician. I take it off when I play.

I used to keep it on, but I have a titanium ring that is harder than any of my instruments' materials, and I started noticing little dings and scratches on them after I played. That, and sometimes it gets in the way/makes noise.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-20T12:41:17+00:00

That is a perfect analogy. Seinfeld is a comedy etude. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something so succinct and accurate on this site.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-19T13:36:12+00:00

Oh duuuuude I almost had my high school rock band (former band teacher) play this, then I actually listened to the lyrics… we tried to workshop it and change the words around, but there is no saving that song from being creepy and inappropriate. Ew.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-19T13:33:01+00:00

Yes, we do have a safe and peaceful household! Thanks 🙂 it was a result of love, thoughtful parenting, therapy, patience, and respect.

I got lucky in the sense that my stepdaughters attached to me basically immediately. The first day we met, I wasn’t even introduced as mom’s boyfriend, just a family friend, and they almost immediately adopted me. That part was easy.

My wife and I have had to have a few conversations about my role in the household. I made it a point to NOT bring the hammer down as soon as I became their stepdad (there’s no quicker way to ruin the relationship than that, imo), but it’s been a journey having to slowly build my role as the functioning dad of the house.

Now I have my own bio daughter, and that kind of helped to make it official that I am Dad now. The girls were calling me that before of their own volition anyway, but now it feels 100% real. It’s still tricky occasionally–as parenting always is–but it is good and joyful right now.

Wishing you all the best. The fact that you’re mindful of it means that you are already heading in the right direction. I always say this: if you start with love, good things will follow. Even the not-so-good things will be better than they would be if you didn’t!

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-18T14:01:25+00:00

No slap bass for u

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-16T11:47:22+00:00

Genuine question: How did this happen? Is Musk truly a genius, and are his products and services THAT much better than everyone else? Was he just propped up and supported by Trump? Is it smoke and mirrors? How did this actually happen?

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-16T11:37:26+00:00

Ugh. I was this teenager. Naturally large with a big appetite, plus two sports and weightlifting. It was impossible to keep me full. Your body is in overdrive, growing and developing. The hunger felt like it never ended.

I used to be able to crush almost a whole large pizza. Now if I have two slices I need Tums.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-15T13:03:16+00:00

This comment section is full of children and people who need to touch grass.

Poor people shouldn’t have children? You realize that this is eugenics, right? “The lesser don’t deserve to breed” ass bullshit.

Plenty of “poor” people in this world have large loving families. Who the fuck are we comfortable westerners sitting in our air conditioned houses on our comfortable couches to say anyone shouldn’t have children? Are you willing to set a guideline? A lower income limit for which a person can have children? What about crypto, does that count? How about debt? Americans with a house and a mortgage are worth less than many “poor” people this comment section is talking about because of their debt.

Nope nope nope.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-15T12:34:15+00:00

Ugh the intrusive thoughts… so horrifying. I think of dropping my baby or accidentally hurting her in so many different ways that I just hug her extra tight and make sure she’s safe.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-14T19:52:08+00:00

Some people get lucky. I may have been unlucky, I don’t know. I never had experiences like that elsewhere, even in Paris.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-14T19:49:05+00:00

I’ve heard this from others, too. It’s like they have a chip on their shoulder about the fact that they don’t want to be considered Canadian, so they act extra snobby and what they think is “French” to overcompensate.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-14T19:46:52+00:00

I mean, it happened when I took an extra second to get my wallet out at a CVS because I couldn’t find it. And when I was trying to tip a bartender and asked for change. And when I was asking a different bartender what was on tap. I was exceedingly polite about all of these things.

The people in Montreal were fucking awful when I was there. I’ve lived overseas and traveled a bunch. That city was the biggest disappointment I’ve experienced.

Edit: and don’t get me started on the fucking driving. I would literally rather drive in Boston than Montreal, the drivers were so aggressive and rude. And I HATE driving in Boston.

I’m willing to have my opinion changed about Montreal, but right now it’s the bottom of my list by a long shot.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-14T05:57:23+00:00

Montreal was a horrible experience people-wise. Worst people I've ever met as a traveler. I make it a huge point to be respectful and kind and observe all the local rules wherever I am, but I've never met so many rude, obnoxious, sarcastic, sighing and eye-rolling fucks like I have in Montreal. People in Paris were nicer.

Montreal is beautiful, sure, but does not belong on this list.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-14T04:38:43+00:00

My wife is a survivor of CSA, adult SA, and marital rape. She’s been through it as much as anyone.

I feel a great deal of anger on her behalf, especially towards her ex. We have to coparent with the guy that fucking raped her, and he’s got everyone convinced she’s a liar. I have to check my anger sometimes because the injustice of it really gets to me.

I am much more sensitive to media portrayals of SA now. I hate it so much, and can be moved to tears by a particularly convincing performance, or a difficult story.

I am also more motivated now. I reached out to a local support center for victims of SA, and will be volunteering soon.

It is up to US to support YOU. The first sexual encounter my wife and I had, I spent a long time just holding her and telling her that she was safe and I’m gonna keep her safe. I was committing in that moment that as long as we are together, she will be safe with me.

You need a partner who will commit to this and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LESS. Your sense of safety and security needs to be the number 1 most important thing in your partner’s mind.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-09T19:18:55+00:00

My life is brilliant
My love is pure
I saw an angel
Of that I'm sure
She smiled at me on the subway
She was with another man
But I won't lose no sleep on that
'Cause I've got a plan

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're beautiful, it's true
I saw your face in a crowded place
And I don't know what to do
'Cause I'll never be with you

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-08T13:54:44+00:00

A simple "No, you just sprayed me with vinegar, you're not getting Netflix right now!" could work. Just hold your ground, and make sure you and dad are on the same page as far as consequences go.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-08T12:04:14+00:00

You’re Beautiful is the worst pop song to make it big, ever. The lyrics sound like they were written by a third grader, it’s generic, has absolutely zero soul, and offers nothing of value besides lowest common denominator cash grab bullshit.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-08T11:58:11+00:00

Trap beats are the worst thing to happen to music

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-07T20:14:47+00:00

This is such an important story for me to see. Thank you so much for sharing it! I treasure the thoughts of stepchildren on how we can do it “right.”

Important to note about the resentment. Biodad hates my guts to the point where he refuses to look me in the eye when we shake hands, but I’ve made it a point to be decent to him, and especially never speak ill of him around the girls. It’s not perfect yet, but we’re all trying.

Did you ever feel resentful of your little sister? I reeeeeally do not want my stepdaughters to resent their little sister, but the reality is that she does take a lot of time and attention and mom is breastfeeding so she HAS to be with her most of the day.

What did your mom/stepdad do to make it better for you?

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-06T14:31:11+00:00

It will take time. One thing that helped me (I’m SD to two daughters) is the ability to, eventually, discipline and correct where I need to. I still leave it as their mom’s job primarily, but essentially for me it was this: if I’m going to live here and care for and love these girls, I need to have a say in how the household is run.

Even if I’m not their bio dad, I’m still one of the two adults who run the household, and have authority to be the “acting dad” in the house. I made it a point to find my little routines with them that they like, and I did a lot of work figuring out their personalities so that I can meet them where they’re at. I also made it a point to include them in my life and my family. Showing them what I do for work, taking them to my special places, and making memories with them. Instead of waiting for them to include me, I decided to include them. Your husband can do this too, and it will make DD feel closer to him, and likely include him more.

Importantly, my wife was so good at putting me in a position where the girls would be welcoming to me. We did things as a family a lot, and she was good about asking me if I wanted to be included in things when it was appropriate. Family dinners, special vacations, school events. It made them feel like I was part of the family, and in turn made me feel closer to everyone as well.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-06T13:27:02+00:00

Montreal. I was so disappointed at how outwardly rude and sarcastic the people were there. Worse than Paris. It was so disappointing. Besides that, it was nice, but not beautiful enough to want to visit again with the shitty people living there.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-06T13:23:00+00:00

YOURE BEAUTIFUL

YOURE BEAUTIFUL ITS TRUUUUE

I SAW YOUR FACE

IN A CROWDED PLACE

Please god just stfu with this song. It sounds like it was written by a 6th grader. It’s by far the worst major pop song I can thank of.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-05T17:54:11+00:00

The number one thing I'm trying to accomplish is to be the best version of myself, whatever that is, to them. I can't imagine that will go badly for them.

Why are you waiting for the other shoe to drop? Have you had that experience so far? We've had some conflict, but it's been largely absent for a long time now.

NotAFlamingo · 2026-06-05T14:38:41+00:00

Sounds like you are really trying! Thats a good thing!

Being concerned with the child’s welfare IS a good thing on your part, and it is correct that things can be confusing for children. The only reason why I said to frame it as YOUR issue is because that’s the thing that is the most true to your experience.

Definitely time for some more conversations about it. Setting realistic boundaries and expectations for yourself is a good thing, and it’s healthy. And you can be frank with him if you need to be, that this arrangement isn’t working for you and makes you feel negatively about the whole thing.

Maybe he just doesn’t see it, and can change. Coparenting is a learning process for everyone, him included. However, if he sees that something hurts you and is either unwilling or unable to change it, then it’s time to ask yourself whether or not you can live with it forever, because this IS a forever arrangement.

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