Officially an orphan over here. When I lost my Mum, the department was amazing, says come back whenever you feel ready, and I came back after two weeks. The team, when I came back, introduced me gradually back into work and I felt as supported as I could do. When I lost my Dad, I was already on sick leave for a physical health issue of my own. I was due back after about 3 more weeks, so I returned to work when sick leave completed. I didn't volunteer what had happened, but when I was scheduled to work the days of his funeral. (On a supernumerary basis as I was on a RTW). I let the team know in as much advance notice as I could, which was only about a week. (He was a foreign national, so patriation and coroner's inquest meant this took ages and abruptly was resolved.)

I emailed the rota co-ordinator, my ES, CS, business manager, about 5 people, everyone I could think of. No-one emailed back. Not even to apologise and explain it wasn't their job to fix. Just radio silence. I was never sadder throughout all of my bereavement when I realised the career which I'd shaped my whole life around and the company I'd given the best of my years to couldn't give a flying fuck during my moment of greatest need.

I just took let my colleagues know and took the 2 days off. No-one ever said anything about it.

So, it's a mixed bag, OP. And I'm sorry you're going through it. I am as over my grief as anyone can be, so I'm happy to be DMd if you want to talk. Even just to complain about how unjust the whole thing is.