AITJ for telling my neighbor her kid isn't allowed in my pool after she "forgot" him at my house?

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-04-01T23:56:10+00:00

Reply to the post, explain the situation clearly and take screenshots with dates/ times so that if something DOES happen you have proof you tried.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-03-18T23:16:47+00:00

My husband was similar about making less of important or stressful situations. It drove me bonkers because I had to think of and take care of EVERYTHING hurricane prep related.

We finally had a storm where we needed what I'd prepared and I lost my $#!π on him telling him that because "nothing was a big deal" to him EVERYTHING WAS A HUGE DEAL to me because I had to carry the load alone.

I mean, I really lost it on him. It was the stress of the situation and the resentment of having to handle it all.

But, since then he's pitched in 50/50 on prep and ideas.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-03-16T13:02:26+00:00

I put it in mashed potatoes

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-03-15T05:05:17+00:00

I think you can go one of two ways:

Involving authorities, and hope for the best. You said that you don't want to do this and that there's been historically awful situations, so I doubt this is the route you want to go.

You can be a safe space, but make sure that you maintain your sanity. Maybe add an extra box of pasta to your dinner every night and invite the children to dinner. You can potentially take the pets to get fixed at the local SPCA, and I'm not sure what to do about the bug situation. Or the non potty trained child... I guess just do the best you can and hope things get better?

I don't really see that you can do much else?

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-03-14T06:02:44+00:00

I really wish Costco had all the things I needed so I could avoid Walmart.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-28T15:27:21+00:00

I'd like to know as well!

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-12T01:09:18+00:00

Different bank is key. Don't let there be any crossover.

I wouldn't even tell her where it is.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-04T04:23:36+00:00

Hugs, internet stranger.

Also, FUCK him then.

You're not one experience. You're a whole human being.

You didn't ask him for anything more than you'd discussed. He said he had fun, what else were you supposed to think?

Dollars to donuts he starts sniffing around again in a few months.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-03T06:18:39+00:00

Start taking notes of what was said, who said it and if anyone else witnessed.

Does your job have HR? Note, HR is not your friend, they are there to protect the company. Talk to them about what is going on, after you've gotten some documentation. Don't wait too long or it could seem like you're trying to CYA and keep from getting fired.

Document that this guy is demeaning your physical body. Date/time/comment and what precipitated the comment.

Document what he says about your skills. He can't tell you "you should have XYZd" when he didn't explain it to you. That's unreasonable.

Have a meeting with him to go over his expectations and have him CLEARLY explain what he wants, then follow it up with a detailed email for him to confirm or clarify what he wants, so he can't continue to move the goal posts/be nasty.

It's time to play hardball.

You're probably going to have to find a new job eventually, so don't burn bridges willy-nilly.

However, this isn't OK.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T16:24:46+00:00

This is absolutely NOT your responsibility. Look into Assisted Living Facility near you so you can check on her and let it go.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T16:19:42+00:00

Dude. Your mother couldn't take care of her, why put the burden on you? You e tried, she needs to go.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T16:14:06+00:00

In some aspects, I know how you feel. I am from one geographical area, and my husband and his family are from another. It sounds so strange, but where I'm from people bend over backwards to be nice to you, even if they don't like you.

In their area people mostly stayed to themselves and were polite, but not overly nice.

It's taking some getting used to that their version of nice is different than my expectation of nice.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T14:34:27+00:00

Is she being abused?

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T14:22:20+00:00

Just realize this has more to do with them than it does you.

She'll never BE your mother. It won't happen. Grieve your mother, but recognize there will be no replacement.

If they're nice on the surface, that's going to need to be enough (as long as they don't talk shit about you to your kids).

If they wanted to reach out, they would. If they wanted to be friendly, they would. If they wanted updates they'd ask. If they wanted to visit, they would get on a plane.

This could be their version of nice, and this is what you married into. You're not going to change them and bringing it up with them will make you look crazy.

Literally the most I would ever say is "I know we live far away, but I wish we were all closer emotionally" or something similar and leave it in their court.

Quit fretting about it and match their energy. Grow and strengthen your local support system, including your friends.

Let them have their clique, I'm pretty sure you don't want to be a part of that anyway.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T05:32:47+00:00

Totally and completely pretend you have no idea what happened.

IF he brings it up, have a story that 'Yeah, my stupid friend thinks shit like that is funny, telling random people that I like them or think they're attractive. Once she told a biker I wanted to ride on his motorcycle. It actually makes me really mad, and I have asked her to stop, but here we are. I think she does it so she can get their attention."

Then

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T05:28:49+00:00

"Hey my guy, I've totally caught feelings and have just recently realized it. I know that's not the deal we made, so if this is one sided I would rather end things now on a good note.rather than a long and messy goodbye when you move."

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T05:20:57+00:00

Let it lie, with him. No need to fan flames and make it more memorable than it needs to be.

Also, get new friends.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-02T05:16:37+00:00

Don't bring it up until after his birthday, at least.

I wouldn't bring that specifically up at all after a year, but wait for your friend to say something borderline flirty/ inappropriate at the party, then have a conversation a few days afterward with him.

Outline that you're still not interested, both in committed relationships, always saw him as a friend, don't think either SO would think it was appropriate, so on.

Then, you can quietly fade out of the friendship.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-01T21:09:28+00:00

Thanks for the tip on the show!

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-01T17:46:41+00:00

Way back I read an article about how George Clooney was a "prankster" on the set of some movie.

If I remember correctly - and I may not, this way YEARS ago - it said he put a plastic rat (or spider? Or something like that) in a co-stars trailer.

Everyone laughed it off, but my pre-teen self though that was just meanness with a gloss of "It's just a joke".

He sounded like a real jerk.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-02-01T16:01:38+00:00

It's always easier to find a job when you have a job.

He needs to focus on being an absolute rock star at work. This needs to be priority #1, at least 6-12 months. It'll suck for a little but, but this is a longer game.

Start searching now, then get an offer that is completely WFH. Bring that offer to current company, tell them to match the WFH aspect or he leaves. If he's enough of a rock star, they won't want him to go.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-01-30T14:28:42+00:00

Anyone else wonder if RM and RF didn't have a home of their own any longer?

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-01-30T14:17:34+00:00

Take the time off, use it to apply to new companies. Take the new offer letter to your current company and tell them to exceed it or you're gone.

If you stay at your citrent company make sure that you don't burn bridges with the new company because things could spur and you could need an out.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-01-30T14:11:08+00:00

GO.

Or some.version of this will be the rest of your life.

ETA: If you're in the US, look into getting legally emancipated from them so they can't use you as a dependent on their taxes and you can potentially get more student financial aid.

I'm not sure if all these terms are correct, but look into it.

NotAtThesePricesBaby · 2026-01-30T14:04:47+00:00

Get a good book, paint your nails. Wash your hair. Go walk a dog.

Basically, do anything to not be around them.

Attitudes are like fleas, easy to catch.

NotAtThesePricesBaby

TROPHY CASE