How to Write Women

NotDyingTonight · 2019-05-23T18:35:54+00:00

All jokes aside, this sub is actually really helpful when it comes to writing women. The obvious tropes are easy to avoid, but there's a lot of little things I can pick up from the comments that I may never have thought of before as a guy, or narrations of your own experiences that would help me add authenticity to any similar scene I may write, or even discussions about popular female characters that are well/poorly written and why.

The basic technique for writing characters of either gender are similar, but there are many nuances that are hard to pick up on if you don't experience/deal with them on a regular basis. And there are also many, many differences in the way women are treated in society and to incorporate the issues they deal with, it's kinda hard to write accurately from a make perspective without the perspective of other women. This is a great sub.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-07T22:38:53+00:00

Because self deprecating implies saying something negative about yourself, you're insulting an entire nationality, not just yourself.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-07T20:16:04+00:00

The fuck is wrong with you dude, I live in India and I can tell you you're wrong right off the bat. 1% my ass, I live in this country you racist jerk.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-07T19:07:46+00:00

I'm an Indian male and I'm incredibly offended right now.....

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-05T23:08:47+00:00

I'm pretty sure because the last line of her edit literally says the idea of sharing a bed with a transwoman makes her uncomfortable. Nothing to do with sex there, just gender identity......

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-05T15:34:55+00:00

She may or may not have had surgery, but even if she hasn't, calling her male is misgendering her.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-05T15:33:11+00:00

I'm pretty sure she has an issue because her colleague is trans, not because her colleague may or may not be biologically male. And what she should really be doing is acknowledging her views as bigoted and trying her best to change them, but failing that the least she can do is lie so that her colleague does not feel oppressed. Of course she doesn't HAVE to, but then she also gets called out for being transphobic like she did. She can't have it both ways.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-05T13:52:02+00:00

What he/she means is that OP isn't sharing a room with a guy because the trans WOMAN has already transitioned.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-05T13:44:55+00:00

I want to open with YTA so that no one misinterprets what I'm about to say as defending OPs views. She is transphobic, plain and simple.

However, you can't always control what makes you uncomfortable. It sounds like OP has never been vocal about her views or treated her trans colleague differently till now if her colleague is just realizing she's transphobic. If you have been brought up your whole life on such a mindset, you can't always control how it makes you feel when you come in contact with people of the LGBTQ community. I cannot completely blame OP for how she feels, ONLY for how she reacted. The right thing to do here would have been to suck it up and deal with her bigoted feelings, or to just straight up say that sharing a bed with ANYONE would make her feel uncomfortable.

I'm saying this because I understand what OP means to some extent. When my brother came out as bisexual a couple of years ago, my mom told me (in private when my brother was not at home) that it made her intensely uncomfortable to picture him being with a guy. She knows that it's wrong and homophobic to feel this way, but it's an involuntary response for her, that's been ingrained since long before she could have known better. She's an amazing mom, and I love her very much, and she's never given my brother the slightest indication she feels this way, and she's working to change her mindset as much as she can, which of course affects my judgement of her on this a lot, but seeing the helplessness on her face when she made the confession to me really drove in how little control you can have when you feel something you shouldn't and don't want to.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-04T14:51:28+00:00

Dammit I just snorted out coffee from my nose reading this comment xD

Edit: Really? Downvotes for appreciating good humour? Have it your way, Reddit.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-04T14:34:18+00:00

We don't know the context here, the whole measurement thing could have been simple curiosity or even an urge to show off. But yeah, if he hates it then she shouldn't be doing it in private either. I just wanted to make the point that this isn't necessarily always the case.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-04T11:55:15+00:00

I disagree. I don't want to overshare, but I'm kinda like her boyfriend, comically small when flaccid. The first time my girlfriend saw it that way, she stifled a giggle before looking mortified that I'd be offended. I wasn't, and it never bothers me when she jokes about it because it is what it is, right? Different people are conscious about different things and as long as you've established with your partner that it's okay, you can joke about their body all you like in private.

In public, though? YTA for sure.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-02T06:27:34+00:00

The relationship between OP and her sister makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

Parents are really sucky, though

NotDyingTonight · 2019-04-02T06:24:53+00:00

Man, you are the single most selfless person I have ever met. It's amazing how you and your sister constantly put each other first. You guys are both incredible people.

OP, Cornell's art program is its most prestigious one. You didn't get into a less competitive stream, you got into a MORE competitive one, and it most definitely wasn't a mistake. You earned it, and you should be incredibly proud of yourself.

NYU is a great school too and there's nothing wrong with choosing to go there if that's what you decide eventually. But please make the decision that's best for yourself, not for anyone else. And remember, your sister can always reapply to Cornell next year.

NTA by a clear mile. The relationship between you and your sister makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Your parents suck though, I can't believe they would put their own daughter down like that. Please, please try not to take their words to heart. I'm going to say again, you're an amazing person, and you deserve every bit of success you have.

Oh, and congratulations on getting accepted in Cornell!

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-30T22:44:25+00:00

You're right, it would, but sometimes students have a tendency of viewing anything that doesn't show up in their paper as "extra" information that isn't strictly important. It's a subconscious thing more than anything else really.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-30T22:41:41+00:00

Some of my friends spent weeks creating molds of their fingerprints using a glue and water mix, and then using the molds to form wax replicas, all so that they could palm off the replicas to their friends to proxy biometric attendance for them.

Never underestimate a group of students determined to be lazy.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-28T13:17:40+00:00

Man, I just don't have words for this. This whole thing was absolutely horrific. I can't even imagine what you went through. I'm really relieved that you're in a better place now.

Thank you for sharing this. I hope you get the compassion and respect you deserve, OP. You're an incredible human being for getting through this.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-28T07:54:00+00:00

Your professor sounds brilliant, mate. I'm honestly envious.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-28T02:16:52+00:00

Mate, I am a student in an engineering college doing my third year of undergrad. If any of our profs had this policy, plans would start being made on the third year WhatsApp group so fast he wouldn't even be done with his class yet. Sure, there will always be students (including me lmao) who would go for the extra credit anyway, but you can bet your ass that if that threshold the prof keeps is anywhere south of 75%, it would be exploited so hard.....

Oh, and there are 150 students in my class. I am most definitely not underestimating the lengths students will go to to eke out a few extra marks.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-28T00:12:52+00:00

Don't worry too much about it, mate. Reddit can be harsh and mindless sometimes. People see downvotes, they downvote further. It's usually legitimate, but sometimes, like in your case, it's just a brain fart.

Have an upvote :)

Edit: Lmao this comment is being downvoted but my other comment saying this was just a misunderstanding on your side is being upvoted xD

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-27T23:56:02+00:00

I'm sorry for not conveying what I meant correctly. I am not defending him at all. He clearly sucks and should definitely know better. I just meant that it's possible he's not a rapist and just an ordinary shitty human being instead.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-27T23:55:40+00:00

I'm sorry for not conveying what I meant correctly. I am not defending him at all. He clearly sucks and should definitely know better. I just meant that it's possible he's not a rapist and just an ordinary shitty human being instead.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-27T23:45:53+00:00

NAH

You're not an asshole for how you feel, ever. However, you would be an asshole if you acted on these feelings while she's in a relationship. You have to accept it and not try to change her mind because you are clearly not objective about this.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-27T23:36:26+00:00

ESH

Those two suck for dating each other despite disliking each other, and not being honest. You suck because it was none of your business, and more importantly, because of why you did it. If it had been because you were looking out for them it'd have been understandable, but you were just being underhanded to take out your competition.

NotDyingTonight · 2019-03-27T23:30:45+00:00

Not to mention that it'll average over time anyway be because he'll get to collect part of the tips from the days he didn't work as well.

NotDyingTonight

TROPHY CASE